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For Janine- about the aftermath .

2674 Views 18 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  Dreamer
Hey Janine. I know you get several topic starters that asks for you. I will keep it short. I dont know if you remember me but i am the one that had dp/dr from weed almost 3 years ago. I had it for 3months, very very extreme and then it went away. However i was still left with a little disconnected numb feeling. Not to the point of DP or DR but i just cant describe it and sometimes i cant relate to anyone on this board.

- Its been getting worse these past 2 weeks, i guess b/c of stress with my girlfriend and college. I missed out on alot of time from nyu and i should have been graduated last yr. I however have a semester remaining. Oh forgot "keeping this topic short" =)

Anyways i been feeling a little bit more disconnected lately and on the edge, but it doesnt manifest itself to dp or dr. Its just a feeling i live with everyday. Do u have any idea what it is?? Could it be that i still have dp/dr? i doubt it but what is this numb feeling ?

you also reccommended Welbutrin, im thinking of getting on it.
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The issue is something that happened before the first dp. What happened before the first dp is you had:
a set way of what you thought the world to be
certain fears and insecurities
certain misconceptions about the world
certain things about yourself you couldn't face or accept
certain things about reality you couldn't face or accept.
I totally agree. But, and I'm simplifying this a lot as I can't express myself better, what about when you recognize all these and have pretty much accepted yourself and the world and dp still stays? One example, before dp I wholeheartedly considered my life as a script filled with events which would finally lead into my greatness- I'd be a famous actress, the next great comedian, the saviour of Germany's economics (?). Everything that happened was only a stepping stone for this, I could see patterns of it everywhere. I also had unrealistic expectations about everything, mainly I thought wherever I went people would love me. And of course when anything unexpected happened which threatened the Major Plan I'd get confused, without realizing these behavior patterns at all. But that's gone now, however dp isn't. I really can't explain better what I mean. I guess it's part of dp to think you see things as they are, but I do believe my belief system before dp was completely distorted. It's just feels like I know everything about me and see the world more realistically but this condition still stays. But that may also be because I just scored well on a depression test.
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