Dear Janine,
Damn for some reason, I'm having trouble posting, and just lost, DAMNIT, forgive a very insigtful tome. So I'll make this brief. Why I didn't copy and paste that to notepad........... never mind :evil:
I agree with Home, specifically the part about how when we are young we have many aspirations which are illogical, or as we get older are not possible for one reason or another.
For me, I had only one goal, to be a singer really, and I had the talent to back it up, but the anxiety and verbal abuse from my mother to squash it.
I can't remember a time I didn't want that. I also wanted to be famous, in part well, for two reasons -- I wanted the love of an audience (which I now see is hollow), and I wanted to prove to my mother (by winning my Grammy or whatever) that I was not a "failure" a "sociopath" an "idiot" essentially. My mother had a whole dictionary of negative adjectives for me.
I know many adults these days -- healthy ones -- who look back wistfully at that "career as an artist", the MANY boys I knew in high school and college who were "going to start a famous band -- and I sang back up, LOL" ... we all grew out of that. I still have longed for recognition, but that is fading, as I realize I have nothing to prove.
OK, here's the eyepoke test.... LOL.... I want my zombie smiley back :shock: <-------- this little fellow will have to do.
Devil's Advocate: Why is it that Narcissistic Personality Disorder NOT have DP/DR as part of its constellation of symptoms, and Bordeline Personality clearly states that DP/DR, cutting, suicide threats are part and parcel of that illness. I see now the Borderline in me, which is possibly going to be called "dyslimbia" or "mood dysregulation" and responds to mood stabilizers such as Lamictal.
I DO agree that completely unrealistic expectations of one's worth are a hallmark of a narcissistic disorder, coutering feelings of worthlessness.
You know I still have a problem with the Unconscious that we haven't acknowledged. I feel I am slowly facing things -- simply as reality, a lesson of getting older, as well as the realization that I can't please my mother. And she's been dead for nearly 4 years now.
I still have Borderline traits -- catatrophizing, the black/white thinking, the negative thinking, but in my case, never had this to such an extent that anyone, save my last doctor (in L.A.) noted.
OK, I'm going to cut and paste this.
In the Spirit of Healthy Debate,
All eyes remaining, LOL :shock:
Peace,
D
Of the Ramachandran school
8)
Damn for some reason, I'm having trouble posting, and just lost, DAMNIT, forgive a very insigtful tome. So I'll make this brief. Why I didn't copy and paste that to notepad........... never mind :evil:
I agree with Home, specifically the part about how when we are young we have many aspirations which are illogical, or as we get older are not possible for one reason or another.
For me, I had only one goal, to be a singer really, and I had the talent to back it up, but the anxiety and verbal abuse from my mother to squash it.
I can't remember a time I didn't want that. I also wanted to be famous, in part well, for two reasons -- I wanted the love of an audience (which I now see is hollow), and I wanted to prove to my mother (by winning my Grammy or whatever) that I was not a "failure" a "sociopath" an "idiot" essentially. My mother had a whole dictionary of negative adjectives for me.
I know many adults these days -- healthy ones -- who look back wistfully at that "career as an artist", the MANY boys I knew in high school and college who were "going to start a famous band -- and I sang back up, LOL" ... we all grew out of that. I still have longed for recognition, but that is fading, as I realize I have nothing to prove.
OK, here's the eyepoke test.... LOL.... I want my zombie smiley back :shock: <-------- this little fellow will have to do.
Devil's Advocate: Why is it that Narcissistic Personality Disorder NOT have DP/DR as part of its constellation of symptoms, and Bordeline Personality clearly states that DP/DR, cutting, suicide threats are part and parcel of that illness. I see now the Borderline in me, which is possibly going to be called "dyslimbia" or "mood dysregulation" and responds to mood stabilizers such as Lamictal.
I DO agree that completely unrealistic expectations of one's worth are a hallmark of a narcissistic disorder, coutering feelings of worthlessness.
You know I still have a problem with the Unconscious that we haven't acknowledged. I feel I am slowly facing things -- simply as reality, a lesson of getting older, as well as the realization that I can't please my mother. And she's been dead for nearly 4 years now.
I still have Borderline traits -- catatrophizing, the black/white thinking, the negative thinking, but in my case, never had this to such an extent that anyone, save my last doctor (in L.A.) noted.
OK, I'm going to cut and paste this.
In the Spirit of Healthy Debate,
All eyes remaining, LOL :shock:
Peace,
D
Of the Ramachandran school
8)
