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For Janine- about the aftermath .

2678 Views 18 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  Dreamer
Hey Janine. I know you get several topic starters that asks for you. I will keep it short. I dont know if you remember me but i am the one that had dp/dr from weed almost 3 years ago. I had it for 3months, very very extreme and then it went away. However i was still left with a little disconnected numb feeling. Not to the point of DP or DR but i just cant describe it and sometimes i cant relate to anyone on this board.

- Its been getting worse these past 2 weeks, i guess b/c of stress with my girlfriend and college. I missed out on alot of time from nyu and i should have been graduated last yr. I however have a semester remaining. Oh forgot "keeping this topic short" =)

Anyways i been feeling a little bit more disconnected lately and on the edge, but it doesnt manifest itself to dp or dr. Its just a feeling i live with everyday. Do u have any idea what it is?? Could it be that i still have dp/dr? i doubt it but what is this numb feeling ?

you also reccommended Welbutrin, im thinking of getting on it.
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Dear Janine,
Damn for some reason, I'm having trouble posting, and just lost, DAMNIT, forgive a very insigtful tome. So I'll make this brief. Why I didn't copy and paste that to notepad........... never mind :evil:

I agree with Home, specifically the part about how when we are young we have many aspirations which are illogical, or as we get older are not possible for one reason or another.

For me, I had only one goal, to be a singer really, and I had the talent to back it up, but the anxiety and verbal abuse from my mother to squash it.

I can't remember a time I didn't want that. I also wanted to be famous, in part well, for two reasons -- I wanted the love of an audience (which I now see is hollow), and I wanted to prove to my mother (by winning my Grammy or whatever) that I was not a "failure" a "sociopath" an "idiot" essentially. My mother had a whole dictionary of negative adjectives for me.

I know many adults these days -- healthy ones -- who look back wistfully at that "career as an artist", the MANY boys I knew in high school and college who were "going to start a famous band -- and I sang back up, LOL" ... we all grew out of that. I still have longed for recognition, but that is fading, as I realize I have nothing to prove.

OK, here's the eyepoke test.... LOL.... I want my zombie smiley back :shock: <-------- this little fellow will have to do.

Devil's Advocate: Why is it that Narcissistic Personality Disorder NOT have DP/DR as part of its constellation of symptoms, and Bordeline Personality clearly states that DP/DR, cutting, suicide threats are part and parcel of that illness. I see now the Borderline in me, which is possibly going to be called "dyslimbia" or "mood dysregulation" and responds to mood stabilizers such as Lamictal.

I DO agree that completely unrealistic expectations of one's worth are a hallmark of a narcissistic disorder, coutering feelings of worthlessness.

You know I still have a problem with the Unconscious that we haven't acknowledged. I feel I am slowly facing things -- simply as reality, a lesson of getting older, as well as the realization that I can't please my mother. And she's been dead for nearly 4 years now.

I still have Borderline traits -- catatrophizing, the black/white thinking, the negative thinking, but in my case, never had this to such an extent that anyone, save my last doctor (in L.A.) noted.

OK, I'm going to cut and paste this.

In the Spirit of Healthy Debate,
All eyes remaining, LOL :shock:
Of the Ramachandran school
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Forgot to say.

I have found my DP less intrusive over the years, though I am far from happy living 24/7 with its miserable chronicity.

My theory is, it is getting better, as my overall anxiety is decreasing by forcing myself into MANY anxiety-provoking situations.

If I believe that I don't have to be "perfect", then there is a tremendous weight lifted from my shoulders.

This is why (I got a clearer explanation of my recent diagnosis) in the past I didn't have the "healthy narcissism" or really self-confidence to believe I was really capable, that the recognition I DID receive was real.

In accepting myself, yes, who I am, the anxiety lessens and perhaps the DP becomes more... well I have to live with it... or the rest of my life will pass me by.

I am really having a hard time posting.
Anyone else?
Did I say, I HATE MOVING 8)
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Za vooman mit ze zigah said:
The concept of a ?narcissistic-based disturbance? extends far beyond what the DSM?s NPD classification covers.
Agreed. Also, I can't believe I wrote a Freudian BRA in my post; we HAVE agreed to disagree on the Unconscious, LOL.
It's true there is an entire body of psychoanalytic literature that addresses this. It is again what school of thought one espouses.

I have no brain. :roll:

Don?t PM me to tell me you?re not narcissistic, lol?it?s not everyone.
I'll try. :shock:
L'Hairballe D'Anxiete 8)
It's not that you have no brain, poor Hairball. It's that you also have an Unconscious. LOL

Yes, and you're correct re:
They can often miss the true emotional "craziness" that the patient is living with 24/7 and it's a very serious therapeutic error. The therapist or analyst ends up encouraging the very destructive thought processes and behavior (thinking it's good for the treatment work, but failing to appreciate its pervasiveness). It ends up short-changing the patient and her/his growth.
I was discussing this with my husband, our good and very bad luck in therapy. I had one doctor I know thought "wow here's a borderline doozie" and wanted me out of the place (maybe two, LOL), then another who let me run the show.

Man, one has to find a therapist with brains, empathy ... a lot. Overall I think I've been fortunate, more fortunate than many here, but "the road is long...."

L'Hairballe 8)
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