[Guest]

It seems that focusing outside of oneself is considered a key element in overcoming dp.

But I really do have a problem with that.

I went hiking lately and on top of the mountain I took a rest. I was exausted and all thoughts were gone.
I was pretty dped and in additon to the dp I was too tired to care or think.
But instead of thinking I was observing my thoughts and myself. I was like "what is it that makes me aware of me?" and " why don't I just faint" or " I should have long gone crazy, what is it that keeps me focused?".

The only answer that seemed to be true was " it just happens.I don't faint cause I don't faint". I mean, just like that.

I remembered that focusing outside may be the thing to do in such a situation and I tried to focus on the rocks that happened to be there.
But when I tried to get away from my " thought observation", I was like fainting or losing it.

The thing is that in such a situation EVERYTHING THAT LEADS AWAY FROM ME MAKES THE DP WORSE.
Cause it seems I don't exist, and getting away from me only makes me more non existant.

It's soooooo scary!

Thats why I have to focus on me, keep reassuring me that I don't faint, that I can call a friend when I faint, can take pills when I go crazy, and so on and so forth.
I mean, focusing outside when i am trapped NOT EXISTING makes me feel not even non existant, but totally faint or freak out.

I have no idea how to shift the focus away from me when all that is left from me is FORCED thinking.

Does anyone have the same problem?
Does anyone have a clue?

 

[1A]

I,

I like your user name!

You sound to be getting excited and frustrated over nothing.

Did you read Janine's post from her e-book? I think a lot of the info in that post relates to how and why you're feeling the way you are.

Click here to read the post I'm speaking of. Let me know if you can identify with what Janine says and if you achieved some level of comfort from her knowledge.

Jeff

 

[Guest]

I did read every single post Janine wrote, actually I am referring to one of her statements on concentrating on anything else but oneself.

And that's the point where I don't get on. When I do focus on things outside rather than concentrating on those obsessive thoughts that usually accompany dp, I just seem to make things worse.

Of course I could force myself to ignore the thoughts and the dp, but that just leads to more dp and less and less sense of self.

By the way does 1A mean something like "on top" ?That's why the picture shows bill gates. But he is in jail on this one.

 

[1A]

I just thought that photo was silly. 1A was the easiest screen name I can think of. First number of numbers and first letter of the alphabet. No connection between the Gates photo and "1A". Nothing about being "on top" either. I'm hardly successful.

Glad you read all of Janine's material. Hopefully she will post on this thread and provide some helpful information for you. Right now I'm not the best person to ask for advice, because I'm struggling very much too.

Hope things begin to look up for you.

Jeff

 

[Guest]

"This space available for rent" is truly hilarious.

Okay, here's the deal with focusing away from self.

First off, when/if you're in a horrid anxiety state, sure..I totally understand that need to keep reminding yourself of Self...I used to repeat my own name (silently) and describe myself, my memories, my connection to my own body, etc....as if I was Keeping my Self inside my own head.

But...the goal is to be able to use that same attention to detail on your sensory observations withOUT having to link it to self.

Something like this: It's so cold up on the mountain top....the air is like that breeze from ORegon, where it was raining...this air is not as damp, but it has a wild feel to it, and the sky is deep purple. (you're almost reporting as if you were doing a TV broadcast..describing for your audience how it feels/looks, etc.)

Then when you have a panic moment that you're not real, or not in existence...and you start to think "I lost myself! I was thinking too hard and...." STOP. just force yourself to stop that train of thought, and go right back into "the sky has more gray than purple right now. It is kind of a blue, but not sky blue, more like an ocean..." and every time you go back to YOU, pull yourself with all your might right back into the Reporter mode.

What you do NOT want to do is this: it's so cold up on the mountain...and it makes my body feel shaky, as if I can't breathe....the air is too thin, I shouldn't have come up here, the anxiety will get worse. The sky looks too dark, and it makes me dizzy when I look straight up...I'm okay. Not going crazy. I got up here and I can climb back down. I'm going to wait a minute, catch my breath and then focus on the sky again. (too much ME. Again, if I was the TV reporter, my producer would be screaming, lol...we don't want it about YOU, you need to report on the scene, not your place in it)

Make any sense?

Peace,
Janine

 

[Guest]

Yeah thanks Janine, I think I understand.

I came to the exact same conclusion before I read your reply, your explanation confirms my thesis.

I haven't had a big dp fit since the mountain episode, but the next time it strikes I definitely try it out.