[Monkeydust]

I sometimes, usually when I'm thinking too much, get pretty profound flashes of realization, which are immediately followed by intense doubt and anxiety. For example, yesterday I was feeling ok for much of the day, actually feeling fairly happy, in fact. But suddenly I thought of a string of obvious, but seemingly profound truisms, such as: "I actually am here", "I don't need to feel this way", "I am in control of my actions". But afterwards my thoughts became a stream of intense doubt, thoughts such as "life if just....absurd", "is everyone around me fully "conscious" of their actions at all?" Such thoughts are always pretty disconcerting. After this "connection" to myself I'd end up feeling out of place and time for the rest of the day. I think I've had several of these "flashes" since the onset of my DP/DR, it's almost comparable to an intense feeling of deja-vu.

Anyway, does anyone else get feelings comparable to this? And would it be considered a "good" sign or a "bad" one?

 

[Guest]

Its usually those same ill fated realizations that bring my most severe onsets of DP. I've learned to cope with them by using distractions. As soon as the fear hits.. i'll just make it a point to think of something completely seperate, like kittiens, or bunnies, or my co-workers perishing into a flaming pit of uncertainty. Stuff like that.

eDfGr33n
"thats just me though."

 

[Guest]

I have two kind of 'flashes'. The one you guys mention above where i'll have this moment where i'm instantaneously hit with this overwhelming feeling of hopelessness, intense fear, and nihilism. Heavy DP is usually the outcome of these reactions.

I also have what i like to call 'glimpses into reality' where for ephemeral moments i'll be at peace, like a little seratonin snuck by my mania-medication and gave me a taste of unjustifiable happiness. It feels like some imbalanced reaction, or just another symptom of mood disorder, but those are the feelings that give me hope.

As I was falling asleep to Brain Eno "Music for Airports" last night, i was in a state of total unexplainable calm. The music was fitting, and the bed was comfortable, but I hardly ever feel that way. I'm not sure i've ever even felt that way before the onset of DP.

 

[Guest]

I definitely know what you're talking about, and I don't really think it's a good or bad "sign" regarding health or recovery...but, I can tell you one thing: ANY thought that is about self-observation, good or bad, a happy thought that makes you feel like you're assessing your reality WELL, or a scary thought that makes you feel Unreal are basically the same thought.

The TROUBLE comes from watching self. and from "monitoring" one's relationship to reality in the first place.

The way out of the horror is to try to focus on anything besides the Actual Organism doing the Perceiving at the moment. You want to divert attention away from observing the Observer (and try to be more interested in WHAT you're observing out there than in the fact that you're observing)

Peace,
Janine

 

[Beth]

The way out of the horror is to try to focus on anything besides the Actual Organism doing the Perceiving at the moment. You want to divert attention away from observing the Observer (and try to be more interested in WHAT you're observing out there than in the fact that you're observing)

Although that's an obvious truth I hadn't ever thought of it worded like that. It's interesting, because a buddhist meditation is the exact opposite, to focus on the self that is behind each thought or feeling and to follow it further back and back. Which is, of course, something that we do pretty often automatically.[/quote]