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I am glad this is the first post I have read since I have returned today to check on this page.
I wanted to post this so this could be shared to everyone, I'm not even going to make a new post at this point, as the slight other posts I've seen contain so much negativity and unhelpfulness. Not coming to this site anymore is what I believe helped my healing process.
A few weeks ago, I went to a wedding and had a great time. I had a few drinks , and someone offered me some weed. I had been offered weed many times before since my healing, and refused. Since I had a few drinks and was feeling really well and into a good conversation, I decided to take the offer. I didn't even inhale, and it was such a tiny hit. I was fine that night, but I continued drinking heavily and went back to the hotel. The next day when I got home, the previous night was foggy and I was pretty hung over, but I was fine like I always was. I had forgotten I even took the offer for the weed. Once I ordered food however, I for some reason was reminded of the smell of weed, and remembered I smoked, and put myself into a big panic attack. I was able to settle down, but it got a little bad for a few days.
Last weekend, I took a very small bite out of an edible, and put myself into a horrible spiral of anxiety for the weekend. It also did not help that at the end of the weekend while I was traveling out of town (Sunday), I was a witness to a drive by shooting that was about 5 feet away from me. I had to hide from the shooter as I saw he circled around a few times, and thought he knew I saw what happened.
I feel confident that I can recover again, I did it once, I can do it again. For the sake of people that have genuinely helped me here, I thought I should make a post for the simple fact that I could help at least one person -
1. DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT - if you got this from smoking weed - don't do it ever again. You might be feeling 99 percent, and having a good ol time, you figure "what the hell, I'm good now". Sure, some people might be fine, and never experience it after smoking again, but do you REALLY want to take that chance? Is the risk really worth the reward? Take the win, and don't ever turn back. Your mental well-being is more important than getting high for an afternoon. I really believe there is PTSD tied into this stuff.
2. Don't come here again. its hard to do. There is a lot of helpful information on here (like this page), but there is a lot of dark and negative stuff here too. Just like the person said on the main post, you coming here are confirming your symptoms, and are putting yourself on a constant loop of every day checking to make sure you are ok, and not crazy. This is a common thinking pattern with OCD/Anxiety/PTSD. Walking away from here will be a good step to confirm you are going to be ok, and to get back on the path of healing.
3. Exercise helped me out a lot too - Not only is it good for the body, its good for the mind. Once I started doing a circuit training routine 3 days a week, I was starting to feel pretty good, on top of losing 30 pounds. Also, burning that energy off will def help with sleeping at night.
4. I went to have a sleep study and I found out that I have sleep aponia. I was not getting good sleep at nights even though I felt I slept through the whole night with no issues. The CPAP mask has helped me out tremendously and helped me on my normal days where I would have anxiety. I feel like It def changed my life.
5. Like she said on the post - do not keep this from making you go out and doing things. I have traveled the world and seen many things while in my recovery, and I can say that being with friends, movies, games, sports, concerts, and all the above has def kept my mind off things and made me heal. The more you stay indoors on this website, the longer you linger with just your thoughts and your mind trying to find reassurance every day. I started growing a garden with vegetables, herbs, peppers, fruit etc. I feel that also was a calming, healing thing to do.
Healing is not a linear process, there will be ups, there will be downs. Don't let a bad day set you back. Take everything one day at a time, things will just not "go away" overnight. The mind is a very curious thing, but like Eastman said on the walking dead-
"You know, I've interviewed over 825 people who've done terrible things. I've only met one evil person. Some of them were born with bad brains. Some of them got sick along the way. The rest were just damaged people. Traumatized themselves like you, but they could heal. Some more, some less, but they can. We all can. I know it."

You can do it - good luck and happy mental health.
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