Hi
My name is Josh.
This is my first and only post. I am going to stay away from these forums for now on. I just needed to tell you my positive story.... Even if it only helps one person.
I have been on the forums numerous time looking for answers. There are so many contradicting ones.
Long story short I am now 90% cured (I will touch on this later)
If you are reading this and like me in your position are thinking of doing something stupid - PLEASE DONT!!!
I wanted to die everyday when I was going through my most recent illness DPDR. I own guns and I almost had a gun to my head in the early days.
If you need someone to talk to please see my email at the bottom. If your in Sydney I would love to meet you for a coffee.
I live in Sydney Australia and have experienced this horribly illness twice in my life.
I will try and keep this breif.
Firstly I would like to say I'm a realist... And for the last 3 or so years I resigned to the fact that my life was over and did not have any hope at all. I just had to stay alive any way I could for my family...even though I was suffering terribly everyday.
1st DP/DR experience:
I was 18. Just finished school and was partying with some mates. Very drunk and tried some marijuana for the first time. I remember having an instant panic attack. Woke up the following morning and everything had changed. Nothing felt real... Went to doc and he put me on zoloft.
Months went by with 24/7 DPDR. I thought my life was over. I went to a psychiatrist around about 6 months later and he put me on zoloft and seroquel. He also reassured me that there was nothing wrong with my brain.
Being honest.... This first encounter with DPDR was about 10% of my next encounter. I was soon cured to 90% and got on with life. Finished uni and became a fire fighter.
2nd Dreadful Experience with DPDR.
2016 - was on my honeymoon in Amsterdam. Stupid me tried marijuana again. I instantly had a panic attack. This time it was the worst thing I had ever experienced.
- I was no longer human
- I wasn't real
- Nothing was real
- wasn't in control of my movements
- everything looked unfamiliar
- didn't really recognise my wife
- had no emotion or connection to anything
- constant panic attacks with constant 24/7 anxiety
- 24/7 DPDR. Not a moment went by for 3 years where I did not think about DPDR, a cure, planning my suicide.
-I kept reading people saying that we just need to ignore it to get over it. This was IMPOSSIBLE for me. So I was skrewd.
This went on for 3 years. I honestly don't know how I made it through. I even needed my mum to stay with me some night when my wife was away. I could not be alone for one second.
I wanted to try the zoloft again - did nothing!!!
Tried the following meds without success
-zoloft
-seroquel
-paxil
-citalopram
-lexapro
-mirtazepine
Around about 9 months ago I was helped by my wife to go and get some proper help because I was bad. Would just lay on lounge all day and sleep as much as possible. I still managed to get to work sometimes.
I saw a Psychiatrist and a Psychologist.
Psychologist helped about 10 percent. Even just talking about it and getting confirmation that it's bloody hard to get better but it's possible.
Psychiatrist put me on Lamotragine and Paxil. Stayed on these for 3 months and did nothing but put on 5 kilos.
He then started me on Prozac 20mg with the Lamotrigine 100mg 2 times a day.
Nothing happened for the first 2 months. I just tried to keep surving and providing for my family.
Around 1.5 months ago I started feeling a lot better. Fast forward to now and I am 90%.
I beleive people need to try every drug under the sun until you find one that works. Also give it a lot of time. I was about to stop these drugs but I haven't felt this good.... Ever!
Don't be afraid to try drugs. Yes some made me heaps worse but its short term pain for long term gain.
OK. Why do I say 90%...Well I beleive once you have experienced DPDR you can never just forget it. It will be in your subconscious for life. However I no longer feel like I don't exist and and having an absolute lovely life now.
So if your like I was and going through the absolute DEPTHS of this Mental Illness please don't do what I was going to do!!!
Again if you need someone to talk to that knows what your going through I'm happy to take calls or text messages or emails.
If your in Sydney please hit me up for a coffee. I travel a bit for my second job so all good.
I am still astounded to this day how powerful and cruel the mind can be.
You can and will be normal again one day!!!
My name is Josh.
This is my first and only post. I am going to stay away from these forums for now on. I just needed to tell you my positive story.... Even if it only helps one person.
I have been on the forums numerous time looking for answers. There are so many contradicting ones.
Long story short I am now 90% cured (I will touch on this later)
If you are reading this and like me in your position are thinking of doing something stupid - PLEASE DONT!!!
I wanted to die everyday when I was going through my most recent illness DPDR. I own guns and I almost had a gun to my head in the early days.
If you need someone to talk to please see my email at the bottom. If your in Sydney I would love to meet you for a coffee.
I live in Sydney Australia and have experienced this horribly illness twice in my life.
I will try and keep this breif.
Firstly I would like to say I'm a realist... And for the last 3 or so years I resigned to the fact that my life was over and did not have any hope at all. I just had to stay alive any way I could for my family...even though I was suffering terribly everyday.
1st DP/DR experience:
I was 18. Just finished school and was partying with some mates. Very drunk and tried some marijuana for the first time. I remember having an instant panic attack. Woke up the following morning and everything had changed. Nothing felt real... Went to doc and he put me on zoloft.
Months went by with 24/7 DPDR. I thought my life was over. I went to a psychiatrist around about 6 months later and he put me on zoloft and seroquel. He also reassured me that there was nothing wrong with my brain.
Being honest.... This first encounter with DPDR was about 10% of my next encounter. I was soon cured to 90% and got on with life. Finished uni and became a fire fighter.
2nd Dreadful Experience with DPDR.
2016 - was on my honeymoon in Amsterdam. Stupid me tried marijuana again. I instantly had a panic attack. This time it was the worst thing I had ever experienced.
- I was no longer human
- I wasn't real
- Nothing was real
- wasn't in control of my movements
- everything looked unfamiliar
- didn't really recognise my wife
- had no emotion or connection to anything
- constant panic attacks with constant 24/7 anxiety
- 24/7 DPDR. Not a moment went by for 3 years where I did not think about DPDR, a cure, planning my suicide.
-I kept reading people saying that we just need to ignore it to get over it. This was IMPOSSIBLE for me. So I was skrewd.
This went on for 3 years. I honestly don't know how I made it through. I even needed my mum to stay with me some night when my wife was away. I could not be alone for one second.
I wanted to try the zoloft again - did nothing!!!
Tried the following meds without success
-zoloft
-seroquel
-paxil
-citalopram
-lexapro
-mirtazepine
Around about 9 months ago I was helped by my wife to go and get some proper help because I was bad. Would just lay on lounge all day and sleep as much as possible. I still managed to get to work sometimes.
I saw a Psychiatrist and a Psychologist.
Psychologist helped about 10 percent. Even just talking about it and getting confirmation that it's bloody hard to get better but it's possible.
Psychiatrist put me on Lamotragine and Paxil. Stayed on these for 3 months and did nothing but put on 5 kilos.
He then started me on Prozac 20mg with the Lamotrigine 100mg 2 times a day.
Nothing happened for the first 2 months. I just tried to keep surving and providing for my family.
Around 1.5 months ago I started feeling a lot better. Fast forward to now and I am 90%.
I beleive people need to try every drug under the sun until you find one that works. Also give it a lot of time. I was about to stop these drugs but I haven't felt this good.... Ever!
Don't be afraid to try drugs. Yes some made me heaps worse but its short term pain for long term gain.
OK. Why do I say 90%...Well I beleive once you have experienced DPDR you can never just forget it. It will be in your subconscious for life. However I no longer feel like I don't exist and and having an absolute lovely life now.
So if your like I was and going through the absolute DEPTHS of this Mental Illness please don't do what I was going to do!!!
Again if you need someone to talk to that knows what your going through I'm happy to take calls or text messages or emails.
If your in Sydney please hit me up for a coffee. I travel a bit for my second job so all good.
I am still astounded to this day how powerful and cruel the mind can be.
You can and will be normal again one day!!!