Hi
I've just turned 51 and I've been living with this feeling of not being part of the real world for about 9 years. I assumed it was some sort of depression as my sister suffered from depression. I hoped one day it would just go away but it hasn't. I've told no one. I just continue with my existence but struggle to feel anything. I have three grown up boys, I know I love them but I don't feel feelings of love. My first granddaughter was born last year, I know I love her but I can't feel it. The feeling of happiness that I used to get on a glorious sunny day never happens anymore. I don't find things funny anymore although I laugh when everyone else does as I know it is funny.
I don't remember the condition suddenly happening, it crept up on me after starting a stressful job, also my other half has a very negative, angry personality, so I would come home feeling happy and his anger and attitude would bring my mood crashing down. I tend to just block him out now or walk away from him or put headphones in as he certainly isn't helping me.
To finally put a name to my condition is a massive relief, now I need to decide what to do about it.... I want to feel normal again. :sad: I try and keep myself busy, I have horses, I love riding (well I know I do but I don't feel it anymore), I go walking, I hate sitting still, being busy helps me, I have a fulltime job. So I appear "normal" to the outside world...
I've just turned 51 and I've been living with this feeling of not being part of the real world for about 9 years. I assumed it was some sort of depression as my sister suffered from depression. I hoped one day it would just go away but it hasn't. I've told no one. I just continue with my existence but struggle to feel anything. I have three grown up boys, I know I love them but I don't feel feelings of love. My first granddaughter was born last year, I know I love her but I can't feel it. The feeling of happiness that I used to get on a glorious sunny day never happens anymore. I don't find things funny anymore although I laugh when everyone else does as I know it is funny.
I don't remember the condition suddenly happening, it crept up on me after starting a stressful job, also my other half has a very negative, angry personality, so I would come home feeling happy and his anger and attitude would bring my mood crashing down. I tend to just block him out now or walk away from him or put headphones in as he certainly isn't helping me.
To finally put a name to my condition is a massive relief, now I need to decide what to do about it.... I want to feel normal again. :sad: I try and keep myself busy, I have horses, I love riding (well I know I do but I don't feel it anymore), I go walking, I hate sitting still, being busy helps me, I have a fulltime job. So I appear "normal" to the outside world...