Ya that’s what happens when u feel like this for so long. I’ve been in this void for what feels like a lifetime where I don’t even remember what feelings and real emotions feel like. When u get to this point u no longer care about anything or wanna be anything bc there is just nothing inside and outside of your world. I’m simply just existing. My body is here but no one occupying it...I feel nothing therefore I am nothing. It’s a very powerful feeling that u feel u have no control over and after 7 years I just feel as though there is no battle to fight. There never was a battle it’s more just trying to survive day to day. I’m not one to give up and I still have small glimpses of hope but this thing is just something I don’t know how to overcome
Feels like the end
I think im done. Im done feeling. I dont know why but i dont want or even see the significance of feeling good. Of feeling happy. I simply just do not want to feel anything and not exist. Good feelings dont matter anymore. I know they feel good but i simply dont feel they are worth it anymore. I think about feelings and emotions so much. I think about how the negative ones are painful so obviously i dont want to feel them but the positive ones no longer seem worth it. I dont want to enjoy anything, i dont want peace. I cant enjoy them because i see no reason to. I dont want anything. Im in a weird middle ground right now. I feel nothing and also want to BE nothing.
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