Depersonalization Support Forum banner
1 - 1 of 1 Posts

Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Greetings all. I'm new here to this forum.

I've been doing some searching around the internet because I've just been feeling so strange lately. You all know how it feels. Like you're not really there, like you're in a dream.

I started having these episodes when I was a teen. At the time I told my mother about it, and she said that she used to get it to, and chalked it up to going through puberty. Once I was through puberty and didn't get the episodes anymore, I figured she was right.

I've gone the past 17 years without having a single "unreal" episode. Until last week. I had an extremely bad day of getting these episodes all day long on Saturday last week. These episodes of feeling like I'm in a dream last for maybe 15 minutes at a time. It's like a feeling of deja vu, only MUCH MUCH worse. I never know how to explain it to people other than to say that I felt like I wasn't really there, like I was in a dream. Most people just say it's deja vu, but what they don't understand is how much worse than that it feels.

On Saturday when this all started back up again, each episode left me feeling more and more exhausted, and I ended up with a blinding migraine.

On Thursday, I had an episode at work. It was like I had done all the things I was doing before. It felt like I had already lived that exact moment in time before and here I was living it all over again. And I felt this blackness around the edge of my vision, like I was going to pass out, but I never did. This lasted for about 15 minutes, and it left me feeling so exhausted all I could do was put my head down on my desk and try to force the migraine to go away. It wasn't working and I was starting to panic. My boss came to me and said we had a meeting to go to with the big boss and boy was it hard to concentrate through the headache. The dreamy feeling passed, and by the end of the meeting the headache was gone as well.

I seem to be getting these episodes more and more often and it's really starting to freak me out.

I've been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and with a Deleusional Disorder of a Persecutory Type (in other words, everyone is out to get me) I also have OCD which shows up as singing. That in itself makes me crazy. I hate it.

Unfortunately, something has triggered the OCD singing this week. I have no idea what. Maybe it's all the stress over the DP/DR stuff?

I've never talked to the doctor about the DP/DR episodes, mainly because they just recently showed up again. And I currently don't see my psychologist because I no longer have insurance. That will start up again in August so I'll bring it up at that point.

Anyway....just a little general background on me....I'm 38, and have a 17 year old daughter, and I've been a single mom all this time. I don't do recreational drugs or alcohol. I've been taking Xanax for about a year now for the anxiety. It doesn't help much, but it takes the edge off and helps me to sleep without grinding my teeth.

Nice to meet you all, and I'm glad there's a forum out there for us!

~Jen~ :lol:
1 - 1 of 1 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.