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Hi All,

Lately I have been really scared with my symptoms. I am sitting at work and writing and I am feeling so numb mentally that it almost does not feel like it's me writing this. It occurred to me today that I feel like a total robot. To be honest I don't know why I am writing this because a big part of me does not care, I am to the point where I feel like I have lost myself completely. I talk to people and it does not actually feel like its me talking. I laugh and joke around with people but it doe not feel like me. I just had a thought that, how can I be writing this if I have no thoughts. I am sure a lot of people can identify with this and I experience it 24/7 almost. Ughhh....I just want to feel like I am in control again, its been about 2 1/2 month and it seems like its getting worse everyday. This is my 9th or 10th bout of DP/DR and I feel like I am beyond the end of my rope. Can anyone identify? I think I am just venting a bit right now.
 

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Yeah, I get you. Vent as much as you like. That's what this forum is for.

You mention that it doesn't feel like you in a lot of situations at the moment. I know that's a common dp symptom, brought on by stress and anxiety but do you feel like the real you isn't being allowed to flourish in some way, like you are living a fake life?

Like you, I've had dp multiple times. I was once cured of it for about 6 years and looking back, that was because I became much more authentic in my life. I was pursuing a path that matched up with my true self without regard for pleasing others or fitting in. As I've gotten older, I've become more insecure about trying to establish myself in some way but at the same time being held back by terrible anxiety. It has led to chronic dp again. I'm trying to push through the anxiety and get to a better place now but it's hard. Mainly due to dp.
 

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Ya I’ve had those same symptoms chronically for 6 going on 7 years and identify with everything u mentioned it’s horrible
 
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