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638 Posts
today ive gone to the city. looked up for some clothes. i was dressed like a homeless guy. straight white shirt, black sweatpants, rick and morty socks with open sandals. i had have a mustard stain on my shirt from my lunch. but who in the fucking world with dp cares about that 
anyways when i got in the store and asked an employee for help, i felt some condescending look in his eyes. as if he thought that i dont have enough money to buy me something or im not on the social level for that store. he helped me anyway. even if it was my choice to go out like a homeless, it concerned me. i felt this insecurity and worthlessness. i used to be a super vain guy. gone every week to the barber. showered every day. styled every day my hair. buyed so much clothes and shoes that i couldnt wear all of them. and that gave me a lot confidence. but if i look back, it was just fake. and also a bit narcisstic. dont know why i posted this. cheers
anyways when i got in the store and asked an employee for help, i felt some condescending look in his eyes. as if he thought that i dont have enough money to buy me something or im not on the social level for that store. he helped me anyway. even if it was my choice to go out like a homeless, it concerned me. i felt this insecurity and worthlessness. i used to be a super vain guy. gone every week to the barber. showered every day. styled every day my hair. buyed so much clothes and shoes that i couldnt wear all of them. and that gave me a lot confidence. but if i look back, it was just fake. and also a bit narcisstic. dont know why i posted this. cheers