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I feel so scared rn. Everything is so intense and im scared that I will never go back to normal. I feel alone and iscolated from everyone else. I am starting to see people as animals other than people. Im scared that im going crazy. Idk If im super stressed or wtf is going on rn. In my head Im just seeing like animal plannet but of people and we are just animals. How small we are in comparrison to the universe and everything else is scaring me so much for some reason. Like idk we have one life and then boom, its over. That scares me so much. Im scared that it sounds that im complaining and bothering everyone. I get bothered so easily and want to hide. I dont want to see anything. I just want to hide away. I feel the need to apologize for myself all the time. I feel guilty, worried and unsafe. Im so scared that everything is just an illusion and nothing is real. Im scared because i keep feeling like theres no point to anything and theres no point in trying or doing anything. Idk if im just so focused on that, that I cant see anything else. I dont feel in control of my life at all and im feel unsafe. I always overanalyze myself to try to be the perfect person because im scared to make mistakes.
Sorry that Im rambling
 

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Hi Illiterate, everything you described I went through as well. Just know that it can get better, and you can get out of that state. Things changed a lot for me when I realized that I am not primarilly anxious (GAD) or DPDR, but deeply traumatized. Understanding that something has been done to me, to make me feel that way, was the starting point for working my way out.
Wish you all the best,
A.
 

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The description of your symptoms brings back memories of how I would feel during an episode of major depression. Worthless, guilty, fearful. I read a book "The Broken Brain" by Dr Nancy Andreason. I was shocked to learn that others felt those exact same symptoms during an episode of depression. I learned that my guilt was irrational. I had been searching for the reason for my guilt, but there was no reason. The guilt was an irrational function of my illness. I didn't have to own it because it wasn't mine. My illness was not my fault. Time is on your side. Your symptoms will also become a memory if you just care for yourself, allow yourself to survive and move forward.
 

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Those things you describe that make you scared are only perceptions. Once you truly understand what I mean by that, it shouldn’t be scary.
 
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