I cant stand being here anymore. Things have becomed unbelievible bad. I didint even realise how i came into this point. I lost all of those parts inside of me. I was left for no life at all. Now i feel stuck in my head so badly. All i do is ruminate these things over and over again. I try to fix them. I try to make myself come alive. But i have no idea whats even wrong with me. I just feel like i have lost everything inside. When i try to think all the possible possibilites of life and im living in this kind of hell. It is unbelievible. Why this always changes so quickly. I dont have myself inside but some other people.. Im sure. Something really bad has happened to me. I feel only strong painful feeelings. Those that put me into bad depression. I cant handle them. I dont have coping mechanism anymore. I know things are bad and they arent gonna change. I gonna be like this till i die. I never had any idea life could be like this. Why it is? Why why why. Will i ever get to freedom. Because all of these things just spin around here. I dont have any tools to heal myself or fix these negative beliefs. I was able but not anymore because these happena again. And i dont have anything to protect myself. All bad things just come here. Im living in my memory or mind and i have no life here. Nothing real.
Feeling hopeless
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"I know things are bad and they arent gonna change". I felt that way many times in my life. Things were very bad. I felt I was at the end of my rope. I had to go into a hospital a few times.
I felt overwhelmingly hopeless. Then I learned my symptoms were a function of epilepsy and major depression. I had ECT and it worked a miracle for me. I feel guilty because I know there is
not a miracle for everyone.
I felt overwhelmingly hopeless. Then I learned my symptoms were a function of epilepsy and major depression. I had ECT and it worked a miracle for me. I feel guilty because I know there is
not a miracle for everyone.
I know i have managed to make things better also for myself. But i feel that i never get that what i want or truly need.i just lose it more. I feel like i dont understand anything. I feel so trapped every waking hour. When i sleep these things become alive what are keeping me in this level. I cant never change them. Its too hard now..
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