Hello Fae,
You are right that DPD is more profound than people appreciate (unless they find themselves in primary DPRD also). All credit to you for getting through this time.
I am not 'in on' my own life, in terms of feeling present through space and time. My body, location, actions and memories are all unfamiliar and seem not 'actual'. BUT [as you know] it is the experience that is rejected in DPD and the fact of existence is still intact. DPD is horrible and for me it can sometimes be so severe it is as though nothing really exists, but it certainly does, albeit hidden behind the DPD divide. I have learnt to notice what DPD does but not to be scared of it, despite the profundity.
DPD denies that I am in the here and now, and it does the same to the past. I find it is an agony to not feel present across time and not to experience that I was in the world. BUT all the truth of it is there behind DP. I find it a comfort to know that and better not to question reality. I proceed like that. It is pragmatic and I grieve for time but I find it minimises damage and gets me to a better place for recovery. I hope you get some relief soon, I find times when DP is at least less intense.
You are right that DPD is more profound than people appreciate (unless they find themselves in primary DPRD also). All credit to you for getting through this time.
I am not 'in on' my own life, in terms of feeling present through space and time. My body, location, actions and memories are all unfamiliar and seem not 'actual'. BUT [as you know] it is the experience that is rejected in DPD and the fact of existence is still intact. DPD is horrible and for me it can sometimes be so severe it is as though nothing really exists, but it certainly does, albeit hidden behind the DPD divide. I have learnt to notice what DPD does but not to be scared of it, despite the profundity.
DPD denies that I am in the here and now, and it does the same to the past. I find it is an agony to not feel present across time and not to experience that I was in the world. BUT all the truth of it is there behind DP. I find it a comfort to know that and better not to question reality. I proceed like that. It is pragmatic and I grieve for time but I find it minimises damage and gets me to a better place for recovery. I hope you get some relief soon, I find times when DP is at least less intense.
