Depersonalization Support Forum banner
1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
251 Posts
I feel estranged. Like I'm not part of this continuum or that somehow everything I knew about life and existence has been warped.

I can't quite put my cosmic finger on it...it is a very weird sensation.

I feel like I shifted dimensions and the frustrating part is I know something is off but I don't know what.

Apart from the visual perception and body/mind connection (which both have improved) I feel strange to be here on this planet.

A giant rock...just floating in space...and that somehow, or up until now, we are the only species that talks, laughs and farts.

How can other human beings just be that laid back...? They wake up, go to work, spend time with the family, go shopping and buy packs of beers...all of them fully knowing what I know yet they are not faced by it!

Is this really just anxiety? Did we break into a secret part of the brain that is not meant to be used...?

I'm not delusional...the extreme fear and anxiety I had has subsided but I can't see clearly...it's as if reality has been cloaked with an invisible force field and my primitive brain cannot comprehend the logic at play.

ANYWAY...what I've been taking and have helped:

Inositol

Lion's Mane Mushroom (read into this, you will not be disappointed!)

Niacin (500mg) the flushing kind.

I'm also jogging and doing yoga and meditation (very light though, im lazy)

These things have definitely helped but I'm still left with these existential thoughts.
Please tell me this process of recovery or vagary is normal and others have had the same experiences...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
62 Posts
I relate to this so much!! every word.

Sometimes my life and my existence feels like a joke, if you know what i mean? Like i'm actually existing on this planet?!? I just can't be true! it's to bizarre.But i know it's true and it freaks me out. how can people be so chill about existing.

i don't know.. i don't think the human brain is constructed for having these kind of thoughts, but i just cant stop obsessing about it. the enlightenment about life and existence is always there, more or less.

i've been through this before and recovered, so i know it is possible.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3 Posts
I can really identify with these feelings. Since the age of 12 I have questioned everything about this planet, the universe and my own existence. Quite often I feel that I belong somewhere else, but I don't know where it is. I too feel that all this World and life cannot be real as it is far too bizarre. The feelings are terrifying because, if it all doesn't really exist then where am I really? Most days I don't know who I am, I don't recognise my face in the mirror, the voice that comes from me, my hands. I feel like I'm an actor in a film and I have to keep up the pretence and act in a socially acceptable way, which is exhausting. Quite often, more so recently, the thoughts spiral out of control to the point where I can't make any sense of anything and I am totally alone in a Universe that I feel that I made up; this is when I feel overwhelming pure fear. I want to end it all but then I'm scared that if there is an afterlife it may be worse than this.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
51 Posts
I’m perpetually bored. I don’t see the connection w things to me. I don’t know how this is going to get btr. I’m living in a purgatory of life.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
251 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I can really identify with these feelings. Since the age of 12 I have questioned everything about this planet, the universe and my own existence. Quite often I feel that I belong somewhere else, but I don't know where it is. I too feel that all this World and life cannot be real as it is far too bizarre. The feelings are terrifying because, if it all doesn't really exist then where am I really? Most days I don't know who I am, I don't recognise my face in the mirror, the voice that comes from me, my hands. I feel like I'm an actor in a film and I have to keep up the pretence and act in a socially acceptable way, which is exhausting. Quite often, more so recently, the thoughts spiral out of control to the point where I can't make any sense of anything and I am totally alone in a Universe that I feel that I made up; this is when I feel overwhelming pure fear. I want to end it all but then I'm scared that if there is an afterlife it may be worse than this.
Hey Diggoes, I'm glad to report that since my post ( month ago) my DP has ameliorated.

You know, those thoughts of yours are the same as mine. Ever since I could remember I would look up to the starry night wondering what is out there.

My keen interest in existence had many plateaus. When I was very young my imagination stretched further than any sunbeam on any given day.

I would consistently seek possible life in other planets, but without any actual equipment, I imagined these possibilities, instead.

I have an over-active imagination where thoughts flutter in and out, rarely conceptualizing a whole picture. This would also explain (or maybe it's a by-product) my obsessive tendencies to ruminate and plan out events in my head over and over again.

As I got older my imagination stayed the same -- young and reckless. You could say curiosity also plays a big part because I want to know...everything.
I was no longer conceptualizing possible life-forms out there but now I was getting into Quantum Mechanics. It's basically the study of the smallest possible units which make up reality.

I won't bore you with all the theories but digging in deep into quantum made me see reality and possibilities quite different. Now I was up against things like 'uncertainty principle' and 'free particles' as well as dark matter and black matter.

Quantum opened up a door to new information and imagination, and this time Al could definitely not bring me back (im only 29, and i watched the show as a kid!)

Then I got into Buddhism and other things. Long story short: Yes, it's freaking amazing and scary that we live on a floating rock but you aren't alone on this ride, everyone else is to.

Thoughts are intra-dimensional things, they conncect us to other realities. The power of thought is the most powerful force other than love.

Dont be scared or frighten. Accept yourself.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
89 Posts
Before i write long post about how to recover , want to tell u staring at pc finding mates that feels the same and commenting how bad it is wont help u much. My DP was acute stress/depression/trauma induced, and it was so terrible, that much that i couldnt even cry or talk with people (probably worse than weed induced one). Thing is that your brain fell asleep artificially, (except you have ilness, or deficient in some vitamin/mineral like Vitamin D, iron..etc that triggered it) , and it needs to break wall. You can do it in less than month of hard work. Vitamin & mineral supplementation + push ups, lifting weights, running, street workout, martial arts, lifting hard objects, EVERY day will GREATLY help. Yoga, jogging, drinking coffe and chatting wont do much. You mention u are lazy, there is ur problem. U need to be hard on urself, as in my case i almost felt into collapse first 2 days of intense training after DP (no energy, no concentration, even if i was in form cause i trained martial arts for years, my head was falling down all the time)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
41 Posts
"Thoughts are intra-dimensional things, they conncect us to other realities. The power of thought is the most powerful force other than love.

Dont be scared or frighten. Accept yourself."

Wow, that's inspired me, thank you. And exactly at a moment when i'm so confused.

That just confirmed what i thought lately. That the trap of this condition is that if we don't really accept ourselves, we can convince ourselves of things that are not true. Because of a lack of awareness due to our condition, we believe this thoughts (i'm done, i'm so empty, i'm useless,etc) and we become them, sort of. Anyway that's my case and it scares me a lot. So, i need to work on the acceptance of my true self...

@pinggvin : I agree with your post, excercising is important for us, to get out of the 'apathy zone', it's important, and good for value of ourselves also. It has a lot of advantages in fact.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
130 Posts
Wow, I've been looking for them words. Describing this fucking condition is impossible, I try my best and I just can't make sense of it all. I have been to see Dr's and when I try and explain it they look at me like I am some sort of alien.
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Top