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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am so tired to fight dissociation, fear and derealization. I am so tried to cry because of that. I 'll never find the answer. I am too obsessed, and I would like to think of nothing. Just being OK. No thinking.

If only I didn't have a family and people who cares. I feel like they are waiting for me. If I was alone, it woulnt be the same. I can't give up.

I doN,t care taking meds, I just would like they work. I feel so depressed and I cry each day again. I have nightmares.

Everybody around me tell me I am better, to continue... I feel to SAY : NO!!! I AM NOT BETTER!!!!! I FEEL DEREALISATION EACH MINUTE! I FEEL BRAIN FOG! And when I say that they say : no, you are better, you are pessimistic. Remember the day X when you did that and that. I remember not well, first, and I always have brain fogs all the day, even days when I look good. I can,t complaint, they don't understand! Nobody understand.

Inside I fee like I want to scream, cry, but sometimes antidep makes me appear calm. But inside I am so afraid. I feel like I am underwater.

Sorry I needed to scream my pain. I am in a vicious cycle.

Sorry again for this post, each day it's the same time and I am too silly to make changes in my thinking. :shock:

Cyn :(
 
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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
I am too silly to make changes in my thinking.
Well, I doubt that it is your 'bad' thinking that runs the dp.
I don't want to give some silly advice or so but maybe your environment is putting pressure on you (active or passive), or maybe it is allright and just the fact that you want to change makes you force yourself and put pressure onto you.

Somehow I fear I am making things worse for you with my stupid guesses, but I just want to write anything and not leave you alone, I know it is really hard, can't you get some hugs or nearness from somebody?
If I wasn't so far away you could have my shoulder to lean on.......
 

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Hi Cynthia,

I, too, am in a fog or haze most of the time, pretty much 24/7.

Have you tried an herbal remedies? I have read a lot about fish oil here and might pick up some, for kicks, over the weekend. Hell, it's worth a shot!!!

That's wonderful you have a family. I see my family only a few times a month, if that. Despite repeated explanations, my parents "fail" to understand or comprehend what exactly my trouble is. I can't say I blame them. It's gotta be tough for someone without DP/DR to fully grasp the scope of its intricacies, let alone the introductory basics.

Keep your chin up and check how you're breathing right now -- are you breathing too fast and up in your chest? If so, work towards shifting your breath into you belly.

Hope this helps (if even a little).

Best Wishes,

Jeff
 

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Hi Cynthia,

I, too, just wanted to let you know I had read your post and feel how miserable you feel. When this disorder is bad and really having it's way with us, it can all but make us give up. It is an awful, horrible, bastard of a disorder. I am so sorry you are having a bad time right now.

Please keep working on anything that helps to give you a moment away from obsessing about how awful it is. As 1A said, work hard on your breathing as it can keep you feeling panicky if you are doing the shallow quick breathing.

Do not feel sorry for writing about how bad you are feeling at this time. This is exactly the place to come and write about these emotions. We all are either going thru them or have gone and know how you feel. If it takes typing and pouring it all out all day...someone will be here for you.

Hoping you see some light soon.
terri*
 

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hiacynth

what you are going through is a truly unbearable torment that no-one who has not suffered it can truly understand

we all know how you feel - it's horrible - i've felt like it for thirty years

at the risk of starting world war 4, i am getting massive relief from my dp/dr by taking klonopin - personally i don't care if it's addictive - it gets the spot after alll these years

you have every right to feel miserable, angry and frustrated

rob x
 
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