[Guest]

currently i am stuck in life, not really happy with where i am at and having my mind tell me what I should do to make things better. but the things that i tell myself i need to do are truly bold - join the Military, find a job that utilizes my design talents, be honest, and listen to my heart and do what I want to do - and to do all of these things with disregard to what peope may think of my actions. but, i am 23 years old, my mom (who has NO ONE else to help her in the US) has been struggling financially and with work - so I am paying the bills, and I have this dp/dr that over the years has grown and morphed into a chaotic mix of depression, anxiety, etc, and I have a job that I have commited myself for the next year. So I am here, while my life passes me by and knowing it, but feeling paralyzed and gripped to do any of the things that I feel can help me. What is paralyzing me? How can I difuse it? Any thoughts? :?

 

[Guest]

i see people are reading this post, please give me some advice. i know i can't be the only one who has been in this kind of situation

 

[mcsiegs]

Hello ?

First of all, the things you have listed that your mind is telling you should do (join the military, be honest, find a job you enjoy) are all positive things in life and should be looked at in high regard by everyone around you (if you would have said that your mind is telling you to steal or kill, that would be a problem). When you say you want to do this things ?with disregard of what people may think of your actions?, I can?t picture anybody (unless you are around a group of constantly pessimistic people) having a problem with one or all of your decisions.

Your issues sounds like they may be stemming from your home situation. It is not easy (I am way too familiar with this) to have a parent(s) struggling with either work, finances, and/or health. At times like this, some parents put an incredible strain on their child for help and guidance. You turn into the parental figure, which is never easy.

My overall advice is for the first step to get out of depression is to follow your dreams. Getting a position in the military or getting that job of your dreams will still allow you to help your mom along while feeling good about yourself. If you feel as though life is passing you by at your age, that feeling will increase by 1000% in 10, 20, or even 30 years if you don?t follow your passions. Even if you fail, you at least tried and should have no regrets.

As for your mom, she may be eligible for some government assistance if she is having a certain set of problems. There is always financial help somewhere in this country.

I wish both of you the best.

 

[Guest]

mcs

thank you for the words. you are so right about that feeling compounding. Yes, they are positive things but my mom has these fears associated with all of my wishes. If I join any version of the military, she believes I will be sent off to Iraq the next day. If I pursue my passions - being a graphic designer - she KNOWS i will be unemployed. I know her fears shouldn't hold me back, but it is tough since I am the only child to a single parent, and there is that emotional grip on me. everyday I try to break away from that, and even though I feel like I am making progress, it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I am my worst enemy, and I am killing myself with the way I am living. It really sucks when you dread work and your overall situation, it sucks the life out of you. But I know this is only temporary. I have faith in God he will see me through this. Thanks for replying

Best,

Joshua