[Guest]

I am new to this forum, but not to depersonalization. I had experienced depersonalization for 3 or 4 years, off and on, during my early teens and then it disappeared. I am now nearing 21 and it has reemerged over the past month or so. I had forgotten how scary the feelings, or lack there of (I'm not sure which), could be. I have been experiencing this for about a week solid now and I'm afraid that it won't stop. I know it will, but what if it doesn't... silly I know. I am in no way suicidal, but I find myself every night praying that I won't wake up. I know that I just want to get out of this rut and "not waking up" isn't what I really want. I am not sure exactly what steps to take in helping to reduce/resolve the depersonalization. I am reluctant to talk to my doctor because I know he will want me to take medication. I am scared of the medications due to some negative reactions in the past. They tended to make me feel "crazier" instead of better. I cannot discuss this with my boyfriend because he is a strong believer that mental health issues are due to a lack of will. His beliefs weren't important to me before because I felt that I was "in the clear" in relation to mental illness. I realize that if these feelings of depersonalization continue then I will have to talk to someone, but for now I'm hoping to try the band-aid approach to see if I can reduce the fear quickly.
Well, I hope I put this topic in the right place. Thank you for any insight and also just for the chance to get some thoughts out of my head and on to paper.
~barely