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Hello all. New guy here. 24 old male from Denmark. Having had Dp/Dr for around 5 months.

I decided to join this forum after having had dp/dr for just about 5 months now. It all started after a panic-attack where I thought I was going insane due to not having slept for a while. After this panic-attack I have been in an OCD-like state where I got all these insane thought due to being afraid of them. The thoughts are just about impossible to get rid of, and they have almost crippled me from doing anything. Its all insane thoughts, or rather, thoughts that I think a schizophrenic would think. So I get wierd thought about my family and stuff like "Is people real", existential stuff about the world and such. I'm so insanely scared of severe mental illness like schizophrenia and split personality disorder that I'm seriously beginning to think i'm about to actually go psychotic.

I found out about DP/DR about a month after my panic attack. and I related so much to the symptoms. I am not in doubt that it is what I have but I can't help but think it will make me insane.

It just feels like it has gotten worse now than it was before. In the beginning I just felt a sort on "unrealness" to the world, stuff looked a bit strange and it was horrible but I still sort of felt I had my wits. I believe I mostly felt derealisation and not depersonalisation. This was pretty much the same for about the first 4 months along with a mild depression, just the anxious thoughts changed with time to different "insane" thoughts.

Fast forward about a week ago, I had a couple days where I felt more clear in my head, I felt confident that I was getting better. but then one morning, I looked at my ceiling and felt like I wasn't connected with my thoughts. This sensation felt really strange and new to me. Despite having read a ton about this sensation regarding dp/dr I instantly got a panic attack, and it spinned me right back into the shit.

Problem is, its worse than before. This is much more strange and wierd. I feel so detached from myself and my feelings... its like I now feel depersonalization more than derealizsation.

All my memories feels like had dreamt them. I feel like the "me" yesterday is not the "me" today. Nothing makes sense to me. Its like I can't figure things out and nothing feels right. '

I know what is right and wrong, but I can't "feel" it. I can't focus on anything without getting distracted by wierd thoughts. I'm beginning to truly believe i'm about to have schizophrenia, like the worst fear of my life is about to happen.

I'm writing this in order to sort of assure myself that i'm not going insane, cause I think if I could write this and others can understand it, i'm still sane. I know it sounds silly but it has helped a bit already. I know reassurance isn't good when dealing with anxiety but I can't seem to distract myself with anything else. I sincerely hope some of you can relate and that we all get out on the other side stronger and happier than we ever were. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat.
 

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dont worry I know this shit and you are not going insane

but more important than that you need to stop putting labels on things . schizophrenia is very treatable .....it is just hou freaking out because of dp
 

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no offense to schizos, but if you were a schizophrenic, you wouldn't be worried about being delusional. You'd be locking yourself in your room, trying to figure out how to communicate with the people that trapped you here. You just feel like it because we latch onto these things in the beginning.
 

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I get that fear from time to time, and it's very scary. I think it's pretty common with dp/dr to fear that you are becoming schizophrenic, but usually that's not the case. Dp/dr, as well as anxiety, makes us *feel* like we're going crazy.
 
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