I did experience constant dissociation before, but that was just mostly derealization, only slight depersonalization and existential thoughts. I recovered completely and And I can recall having that feeling of not existing when I was not hyperaware when I was recovering but I don't really know how I got past that, I sort of forgot that I think. It's so tripping all my memories even from before my depersonalization seems ace. Maybe that's why I think that I don't exist when I am not hyperaware. Because when I experience a brief moment where I'm not hyperaware, and the hyperawareness comes back it feels like waking up and I can't remember the moment when I was not hyperaware if that makes sense, as if I was not conscious at that moment. That makes me think that I am only the hyperawareness. I know that's bogus but somehow I can't even picture what it feels like to think normally again. Tomorrow I will fortunately go to the doctor hoping he can help me somehow. I can't sleep or eat properly and that's making it worse. I'm just 2 weeks in and this is unbearable already. I don't know how long I can take this.
Anyway, how are you brother and how long have you been suffering for?
