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Fear of losing consciousness

1487 Views 9 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  Irooni98
I am so dissociated that it feels like I'm not conscious. Not just not conscious of my surroundings but really unconsciouss. it feels As if I never existed before the moment I am experiencing. And I have the strange feeling I will lose consciousness when I lose the hyperawareness of my own consciousness. It's like I am only just the hyperawareness. Is there anybody that feels sort of the same. It feels as if when don't think about my depersonalization, I will cease to exist. Like the robot that controlls me and thinks will be the only thing left and my consciousness will stop. Is there anybody that somehow feels the same way. I haven't read anything about someone experiencing this and it scares the shit out of me. I literally can't do anything right now. I'm losing hope.
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What you're saying is very relatable to many anxiety and depersonalization sufferers. Many depersonalized people have a sense of hyperawareness, sense that they don't exist, and overwhelming anxiety.

About losing hope, try to keep a little bit of hope. This scenario about becoming unconscious and not existing is in your mind. There's no reason to despair over it as if it's real.
I did experience constant dissociation before, but that was just mostly derealization, only slight depersonalization and existential thoughts. I recovered completely and And I can recall having that feeling of not existing when I was not hyperaware when I was recovering but I don't really know how I got past that, I sort of forgot that I think. It's so tripping all my memories even from before my depersonalization seems ace. Maybe that's why I think that I don't exist when I am not hyperaware. Because when I experience a brief moment where I'm not hyperaware, and the hyperawareness comes back it feels like waking up and I can't remember the moment when I was not hyperaware if that makes sense, as if I was not conscious at that moment. That makes me think that I am only the hyperawareness. I know that's bogus but somehow I can't even picture what it feels like to think normally again. Tomorrow I will fortunately go to the doctor hoping he can help me somehow. I can't sleep or eat properly and that's making it worse. I'm just 2 weeks in and this is unbearable already. I don't know how long I can take this.
Anyway, how are you brother and how long have you been suffering for?
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Do you think medication might help? Has it helped for you?
Hello HugoSpaans,

I felt that exact feeling at the beginning/onset and I would like to tell you with certainty that you will not lose your sense of self by not hyperfocusing on it. You're okay. It's just traumatic to have your entire perception altered and you're just worried it could get worse. "If it can get THIS bad couldn't it get worse?" But the answer is no, you're fine. You just gotta repair some variables and you'll be 100% again looking back on "that time period where you HAD dpd/drd".
Oh thank you man, are you fully recovered?
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