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Yeah for sure, I’ve always questioned everything even when I felt “normal”. I think that speaks to the theory that it takes a certain personality type to experience the level of DPDR that we do. I can’t remember the last time that reality felt “solid” for me.. if you know what I mean lol. Even when I was a kid I was anxious about a lot of things pertaining to life and existence. I wouldn’t call it an illness tho.. I think we just see the world differently. Putting that label on it will only add to the discomfort that comes with this feeling. I’ve noticed recently that instead of telling myself I feel “crazy” or “insane”, replacing those words with “foggy” or “drunk” take a little bit of the panic out of the situation. Hope this helps :)
I relate to this very much. As a kid I had many existential thoughts. I was afraid of death at a very young age. Not afraid of dying soon, but afraid of dying even in 100 years (I thought this was the standard lifespan), which felt very short to me compared to eternity. Or around 10 I was asking questions about consciousness, like why was I born to perceive things from this body instead of someone else's. Or also questions about the concept of infinity. I was very puzzled by questions which answers are hard to grasped. And this was years before I had my first DPDR experience.
 

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I relate to this very much. As a kid I had many existential thoughts. I was afraid of death at a very young age. Not afraid of dying soon, but afraid of dying even in 100 years (I thought this was the standard lifespan), which felt very short to me compared to eternity. Or around 10 I was asking questions about consciousness, like why was I born to perceive things from this body instead of someone else's. Or also questions about the concept of infinity. I was very puzzled by questions which answers are hard to grasped. And this was years before I had my first DPDR experience.
did you really clinge on those questions?
 

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did you really clinge on those questions?
They were more curious questions than existential fears, except for the fear of death. And they were not really obsessive. But I just know that most kids of my age didn't ask that (not that they are very complex questions). And then it faded away before I got DPDR. Weirdly enough I did not have these while I had DPDR, except for rare exceptions.
 

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Discussion Starter · #25 ·
I relate to this very much. As a kid I had many existential thoughts. I was afraid of death at a very young age. Not afraid of dying soon, but afraid of dying even in 100 years (I thought this was the standard lifespan), which felt very short to me compared to eternity. Or around 10 I was asking questions about consciousness, like why was I born to perceive things from this body instead of someone else's. Or also questions about the concept of infinity. I was very puzzled by questions which answers are hard to grasped. And this was years before I had my first DPDR experience.
Yup! I would think all of those things and more lol and it was like you said.. all before I ever felt DP.
 

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So.. I posted on here a few days ago about a change in my DPDR. I went from autopilot/anxiety/racing mind DPDR to a complete blank mind. Since this change in my symptoms, I've fallen back into the trap of worrying about psychosis and just completely loosing it. I wanted to list my new symptoms and see if anyone can relate/tell me if this is still DPDR or I really am going crazy. I know this is a common fear that comes along with this disorder but my mind can't stop making comparisons between DP and schizophrenia :/

Here are some things I've been noticing:

  • very blank and quiet mind
  • bad short term memory
  • mixing up days/times of when things happen
  • long term memory is okay but takes me longer to recall them
  • speaking is difficult, sometimes its hard to keep track of a convo
  • sometimes I give one word answers because I can't think of anything else to say
  • trouble finding words
  • hard to concentrate
  • restlessness
  • classic DPDR disconnect from self/surroundings/family/friends
  • emotionally numb
  • unable to plan out my days/weeks
  • no desire to do any of the things I used to love doing
  • apprehensive to go to work/be social due to the way I'm feeling
  • moments where I know what I was doing but have to remind myself to continue said task
  • I've lost the ability to "keep track" of my state of mind and I will just be mindlessly on autopilot not thinking about anything (this one scares me because I fear that I'm loosing the "awareness" that separates DPDR from psychosis)
  • awareness of thoughts when they do happen, and I immediately assume they're "crazy" thoughts
  • constant worry that I will start loose it or start hallucinating

There are definitely more but those are the main symptoms that have been worrying me. It really feels like my brain is genuinely off past the point of "classic DPDR" and I'll never be me again. Does anyone else feel this way? (BTW I'm not on any meds/supplements)
You're not going crazy! I had DPDR 2 times, and recovered both times. This is all completely normal. I felt like this, both times, and trust me, it goes away. You have to learn not to fear those symptoms, but to acknowledge that they are there, and move on. If you are mixing up days/times, but realizing later on, that is a good thing. It would be bad if you are mixing them up, but not noticing. You say you have no desire to do things you used to love to do, once again, you acknowledged that and maybe it might be time to find something new to love? I used to feel this way, and I felt this both times I had DPDR (First time 2013-14, Second time 2019-2020). Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to!
 

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Ive had ocd about going delusional /psychotic for about a year now, never happened but those intrusive delusional thoughts feels very real and scary its like 1% away from being a delusion your brain can trick you so bad just relax dpdr is a diffrent mental state i feel the same thing my/your mind probably feels blasted from reality ofc your perception is going to be diffrent
 
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