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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So.. I posted on here a few days ago about a change in my DPDR. I went from autopilot/anxiety/racing mind DPDR to a complete blank mind. Since this change in my symptoms, I've fallen back into the trap of worrying about psychosis and just completely loosing it. I wanted to list my new symptoms and see if anyone can relate/tell me if this is still DPDR or I really am going crazy. I know this is a common fear that comes along with this disorder but my mind can't stop making comparisons between DP and schizophrenia :/

Here are some things I've been noticing:

  • very blank and quiet mind
  • bad short term memory
  • mixing up days/times of when things happen
  • long term memory is okay but takes me longer to recall them
  • speaking is difficult, sometimes its hard to keep track of a convo
  • sometimes I give one word answers because I can't think of anything else to say
  • trouble finding words
  • hard to concentrate
  • restlessness
  • classic DPDR disconnect from self/surroundings/family/friends
  • emotionally numb
  • unable to plan out my days/weeks
  • no desire to do any of the things I used to love doing
  • apprehensive to go to work/be social due to the way I'm feeling
  • moments where I know what I was doing but have to remind myself to continue said task
  • I've lost the ability to "keep track" of my state of mind and I will just be mindlessly on autopilot not thinking about anything (this one scares me because I fear that I'm loosing the "awareness" that separates DPDR from psychosis)
  • awareness of thoughts when they do happen, and I immediately assume they're "crazy" thoughts
  • constant worry that I will start loose it or start hallucinating

There are definitely more but those are the main symptoms that have been worrying me. It really feels like my brain is genuinely off past the point of "classic DPDR" and I'll never be me again. Does anyone else feel this way? (BTW I'm not on any meds/supplements)
 

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we have very similar timeline. did you have a lot of stress recently? i also recovered once and relapsed with the fear of going psychotic. i had have panic attacks who lasted maybe 5 months even when i slept it didnt stop. when i opened my eyes the horrible panic and fear did continue.

well let me say, i had have all the symptoms you told, and even many more you didnt mention. but after 2,5 years, im still not psychotic. but the dpdr is very different to my first episode and im kinda stuck at, to figure out why.

edit:
awareness of thoughts when they do happen, and I immediately assume they're "crazy" thoughts
dudee this thing made me the most most most crazy. i could handle with everything else but this one gave me uncontrollable anxiety because first i never experienced such a thing before second there was nothing explainable to anyone about it not even to my self. damn. but again. i didnt go psychotic. damn dude never would think to meet someone here who experiences the same shit..
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
we have very similar timeline. did you have a lot of stress recently? i also recovered once and relapsed with the fear of going psychotic. i had have panic attacks who lasted maybe 5 months even when i slept it didnt stop. when i opened my eyes the horrible panic and fear did continue.

well let me say, i had have all the symptoms you told, and even many more you didnt mention. but after 2,5 years, im still not psychotic. but the dpdr is very different to my first episode and im kinda stuck at, to figure out why.

edit:


dudee this thing made me the most most most crazy. i could handle with everything else but this one gave me uncontrollable anxiety because first i never experienced such a thing before second there was nothing explainable to anyone about it not even to my self. damn. but again. i didnt go psychotic. damn dude never would think to meet someone here who experiences the same shit..
we have very similar timeline. did you have a lot of stress recently? i also recovered once and relapsed with the fear of going psychotic. i had have panic attacks who lasted maybe 5 months even when i slept it didnt stop. when i opened my eyes the horrible panic and fear did continue.

well let me say, i had have all the symptoms you told, and even many more you didnt mention. but after 2,5 years, im still not psychotic. but the dpdr is very different to my first episode and im kinda stuck at, to figure out why.

edit:


dudee this thing made me the most most most crazy. i could handle with everything else but this one gave me uncontrollable anxiety because first i never experienced such a thing before second there was nothing explainable to anyone about it not even to my self. damn. but again. i didnt go psychotic. damn dude never would think to meet someone here who experiences the same shit..

Yeah dude, this feeling is weird and it's so draining. And yes, the last few months have been super stressful at work, which definitely contributed to how I feel now. I feel like my mind is just done trying to figure it all out. It would be cool to talk more! Do you wanna connect somehow?
 

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Yeah dude, this feeling is weird and it's so draining. And yes, the last few months have been super stressful at work, which definitely contributed to how I feel now. I feel like my mind is just done trying to figure it all out. It would be cool to talk more! Do you wanna connect somehow?
sure write me a pm here i will reply as i see it
 

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I've been chronically dissociated since 2007, and i've been awaiting my first psychotic break ever since.
I think this is one of the most common concerns among DP sufferers.
Needless to say, i still haven't "lost my mind", nor will you or anyone else here.

Correct me if i'm wrong, but i'm not aware of anyone here developing schizophrenia over the years.

I wouldn't waste another second worrying about this.
 

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I've been chronically dissociated since 2007, and i've been awaiting my first psychotic break ever since.
I think this is one of the most common concerns among DP sufferers.
Needless to say, i still haven't "lost my mind", nor will you or anyone else here.

Correct me if i'm wrong, but i'm not aware of anyone here developing schizophrenia over the years.

I wouldn't waste another second worrying about this.
Couldn't agree more, won't happen. I have been also chronically dissociated for years endured the most insane symptoms anxiety and such, psychotic like things but never ever really lost touch with reality. I have been experiencing dp/dr since the age of 5 so. All good
 

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To add, I also made the same transition as you, the dp/dr I have now is the "blank mind" dead version if you can divide the two. I have been on auto pilot for so long and I do everything but I am barely aware of anything, days passes by like crazy, yet I am very smart still but I am just not witnessing myself if that makes sense.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I totally get what you're saying! I think the worry came in when I realized that the DP was cognitively effecting me. For example my ability to concentrate, find words/hold conversation and do everyday tasks. Once I noticed these things declining, the fear of loosing it set in even stronger. Did you experience the same "cognitive decline" in your years?
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I've been chronically dissociated since 2007, and i've been awaiting my first psychotic break ever since.
I think this is one of the most common concerns among DP sufferers.
Needless to say, i still haven't "lost my mind", nor will you or anyone else here.

Correct me if i'm wrong, but i'm not aware of anyone here developing schizophrenia over the years.

I wouldn't waste another second worrying about this.
Thank you man, I'm trying my best lol
 

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I’m not going to get into a tirade about my issues with the psychiatric construct of psychosis (those who are familiar with my posts are all to familiar with my criticisms), but I see nothing in your post that is suggestive of what psychiatrists call psychosis. In fact, “blank mind” is almost the polar opposite of “hearing voices.” I agree with the rest of the people here: you will not lose touch with reality and start believing crazy things.
 

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I totally get what you're saying! I think the worry came in when I realized that the DP was cognitively effecting me. For example my ability to concentrate, find words/hold conversation and do everyday tasks. Once I noticed these things declining, the fear of loosing it set in even stronger. Did you experience the same "cognitive decline" in your years?
That happened the last two years severely. Yes
 

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can you elaborate
My cognition has declined, even though others say they don't notice it. But I do, my memory got a lot worse I am not that sharp on details anymore like I used to be. What else you want to know? It all began getting worse after bombarding my brain with stimuli and stress for months on end and then a severe heartbreak made my condition also a lot worse. Need anything else bro?
 

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My cognition has declined, even though others say they don't notice it. But I do, my memory got a lot worse I am not that sharp on details anymore like I used to be. What else you want to know? It all began getting worse after bombarding my brain with stimuli and stress for months on end and then a severe heartbreak made my condition also a lot worse. Need anything else bro?
yes i dont understand the correlation between blank mind and cognitive disturbance
 

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yes i dont understand the correlation between blank mind and cognitive disturbance
I used the term blank mind as an umbrella of symptoms,I don't think I have a blank mind, it's definitely dulled down. My ability to produce images in my brain is almost gone, I don't dream anymore either. When driving I can't picture my route in my head like I used to the three dimensional way of thinking and visualizing is gone. My head is very foggy, and sometimes I have no vocabulary or access to my cognitive ability and I just say yes and knod my head.
 

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I used the term blank mind as an umbrella of symptoms,I don't think I have a blank mind, it's definitely dulled down. My ability to produce images in my brain is almost gone, I don't dream anymore either. When driving I can't picture my route in my head like I used to the three dimensional way of thinking and visualizing is gone. My head is very foggy, and sometimes I have no vocabulary or access to my cognitive ability and I just say yes and knod my head.
thanks dude this was educating
 
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So.. I posted on here a few days ago about a change in my DPDR. I went from autopilot/anxiety/racing mind DPDR to a complete blank mind. Since this change in my symptoms, I've fallen back into the trap of worrying about psychosis and just completely loosing it. I wanted to list my new symptoms and see if anyone can relate/tell me if this is still DPDR or I really am going crazy. I know this is a common fear that comes along with this disorder but my mind can't stop making comparisons between DP and schizophrenia :/

Here are some things I've been noticing:

  • very blank and quiet mind
  • bad short term memory
  • mixing up days/times of when things happen
  • long term memory is okay but takes me longer to recall them
  • speaking is difficult, sometimes its hard to keep track of a convo
  • sometimes I give one word answers because I can't think of anything else to say
  • trouble finding words
  • hard to concentrate
  • restlessness
  • classic DPDR disconnect from self/surroundings/family/friends
  • emotionally numb
  • unable to plan out my days/weeks
  • no desire to do any of the things I used to love doing
  • apprehensive to go to work/be social due to the way I'm feeling
  • moments where I know what I was doing but have to remind myself to continue said task
  • I've lost the ability to "keep track" of my state of mind and I will just be mindlessly on autopilot not thinking about anything (this one scares me because I fear that I'm loosing the "awareness" that separates DPDR from psychosis)
  • awareness of thoughts when they do happen, and I immediately assume they're "crazy" thoughts
  • constant worry that I will start loose it or start hallucinating

There are definitely more but those are the main symptoms that have been worrying me. It really feels like my brain is genuinely off past the point of "classic DPDR" and I'll never be me again. Does anyone else feel this way? (BTW I'm not on any meds/supplements)
Wow this all so relatable, do you also have the feeling of questioning everything. That my own world view might be a mental illness?
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Wow this all so relatable, do you also have the feeling of questioning everything. That my own world view might be a mental illness?
Yeah for sure, I’ve always questioned everything even when I felt “normal”. I think that speaks to the theory that it takes a certain personality type to experience the level of DPDR that we do. I can’t remember the last time that reality felt “solid” for me.. if you know what I mean lol. Even when I was a kid I was anxious about a lot of things pertaining to life and existence. I wouldn’t call it an illness tho.. I think we just see the world differently. Putting that label on it will only add to the discomfort that comes with this feeling. I’ve noticed recently that instead of telling myself I feel “crazy” or “insane”, replacing those words with “foggy” or “drunk” take a little bit of the panic out of the situation. Hope this helps :)
 

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Yeah for sure, I’ve always questioned everything even when I felt “normal”. I think that speaks to the theory that it takes a certain personality type to experience the level of DPDR that we do. I can’t remember the last time that reality felt “solid” for me.. if you know what I mean lol. Even when I was a kid I was anxious about a lot of things pertaining to life and existence. I wouldn’t call it an illness tho.. I think we just see the world differently. Putting that label on it will only add to the discomfort that comes with this feeling. I’ve noticed recently that instead of telling myself I feel “crazy” or “insane”, replacing those words with “foggy” or “drunk” take a little bit of the panic out of the situation. Hope this helps :)
Yes, thanks for the advice. I am often scared to lose myself too, like that i switched consciousness with someone else.

it’s not that i experienced or that it’s real, just the reoccurring thoughts of losing oneself.

this while having pressure in my head
 

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Yeah for sure, I’ve always questioned everything even when I felt “normal”. I think that speaks to the theory that it takes a certain personality type to experience the level of DPDR that we do. I can’t remember the last time that reality felt “solid” for me.. if you know what I mean lol. Even when I was a kid I was anxious about a lot of things pertaining to life and existence. I wouldn’t call it an illness tho.. I think we just see the world differently. Putting that label on it will only add to the discomfort that comes with this feeling. I’ve noticed recently that instead of telling myself I feel “crazy” or “insane”, replacing those words with “foggy” or “drunk” take a little bit of the panic out of the situation. Hope this helps :)
Same here. Never felt li
Yes, thanks for the advice. I am often scared to lose myself too, like that i switched consciousness with someone else.

it’s not that i experienced or that it’s real, just the reoccurring thoughts of losing oneself.

this while having pressure in my head
hoi nog een Nederlander hah
 
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