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Fascinated by DP

6063 Views 44 Replies 12 Participants Last post by  Doug
Hi everyone,

I had a DP experience on July 27, 2003. I will never forget that date. The DP I had was part of a manic episode (I am bi-polar). The DP was frightening as I felt like I had little direct control over my "self" and my body, but was strangely intoxicating as well. It was an amazing experience, to be a "soul" as it were, observing myself and the world as if from outside my own body.

It has been on my mind almost daily since it happened, and I have a strong attraction towards experiencing it again. I feel it somehow ties into my religious development (I am currently agnostic), and I think if I repeat it, perhaps even remaining in that DP state, I will have attained some sort of religious "realization" of myself and my relation to God (if He exists).

In that vein, I am considering starting meditation, as a controlled way to attain this state. Does anyone have experience with this, is DP and "enlightenment" connected? Thank you for your opinions.

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trying to post on this but cannot seem to do so. Have wrote the post six times.

We all have our own beliefs and feelings. I would like to share with you what I feel about this post. It is a very sad one. I actually stopped for a moment at my computer and sad how truly sad. For me being in this constant state of depersonalization is a very terrifying experience, one which I would not wish on my worst enemy. There are no words in the english language to describe the pain and anguish that we who suffer go through. It is the most painful thing I have ever experienced in my whole life. There is a high price to pay for having this, for me I lost friends and family because I was sick to long. They could wait no longer for me to get well. Well, you know what about me I have to stay I cannot leave it. I lost my sense of self and some who I thought loved me. I know how difficult it is for those who love you to watch what you go through on a daily basis just to survive. I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone would want to have an illness such as this one. It tears at the deepest level of your soul. If I had one wish I would wish that I never had to live with such a horrible illness that leaves not one part of the human mind untouched. Please take the time to really think about wanting to experience this. The people here are loving and caring and very supportive to each other I imagaine this may feel upsetting to know that there are people who want to experience what we so desperately no longer want to suffer with. I am sorry you feel this way regarding dp/dr, hopefully when you read how painful it is for us you will give it some more thought.

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Dakota joe, I mentioned in my post that everyone has thier own thoughts and feelings and it is okay. For some reason on this one I have a feeling that this may not be the right place for someone who truly wants to feel what we are so desperately trying to not feel. Yes, they have the right to be here but it is difficult for those who suffer to feel they are being examined under a microscope, just a feeling.

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