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family update

1172 Views 4 Replies 2 Participants Last post by  terri*
Well, I just went over to visit my sister's house to give my nephew his birthday present, but unfortunately the visit turned into a fight about me. Once again, I told her all about DP. I said throw depression, anxiety, panic disorder out the window. Let's talk about DP. But, she cut me off and refused to hear or try to understand any of it. She can't seem to understand how DP can be an all-assuming illness that interfers with everything you do. Grant it, that's hard to accept but she didn't even consider accepting it. I finally just asked her if she thinks me having a job would make all this better. She said yes, you'll be more confident, you'll be making money which you'll be happy and proud of, making new friends, socializing. I finally just said, "a little more confident maybe, maybe relieved to have some money, but it won't make the DP go away and it won't make me happy, it will make you happy." I slammed the door and walked out.

Then, I talked to my mom. She was so sweet and understanding. We talked all about it, and I read parts of this article, research studies, the future of therapy and medication. It actually had employment statistics of the 117 Dpers in the study. Anyway, she was great. She was also curious if this was a family gene because she had an uncle who was relatively normal growing up, he graduated from college, but sometime in his 20s he started getting kind of weird. He sold some of their family's land in Mississippi, bought a house, and just became a recluse of sorts. He wasn't able to keep a job but performed some random odd jobs here and there. Never married. Just spent time by himself depressed. I don't think he had a drinking problem or anything, he just turned weird. I was wondering if he had DP. This was back in the 40s and 50s, and stuff like that you didn't talk about because people would just think you were legitimately insane and throw you in the looney bin. But, it sounds like a familiar study.

One more thing. My sister asked what she should do to help me. I told her to give me time and space, and to educate herself on DP disorder. She blew up at me and said why should she do that when she has a 1 year old baby to take care of and a house to clean. I told her it is absolutely sad and pathetic that she can't find 30 minutes a week to look on the internet and read up on this to help out her sick brother. I love her to death, but I don't know what to do with her but keep my space.
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well the good news is... you really don't have to "do" anything with your sister. of course it would be great to have her be supportive. that apparently not being the case... (i'm thinking she already thinks she has a handful going on in her life and is not "losing it" so why can't you just get a grip. she just can not get it-a lot of family and friends can't) anyway, at least you have your Mom. :D Yeah Moms!

if it's like with my siblings, we go in and out of emotional crisis with one another. it may take a week, a month, a year or two, but things usually come back around. i hope this is the case with you as it seems important that she understands.

hoping things go better for you.
take care,

hey, as far as getting well and doing a little pooh in the face rubbing...what are sisters ( or brothers) for if not a little payback
is hell sometimes. :twisted:

tell it all gimpy, tell it all !
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