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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So here at the beach, i've been noticing something kind of odd...My brother is getting married (in less than 24 hours, yikes), and a lot of his friends are in. It is really, really odd to me to see people that I know in other settings at the beach here. Does anyone else have a weird dp/dr feeling when they see an acquaintance, for example, someplace that they don't "belong?" One of my brother and my's mutual friends came to the beach house we are at yesterday, and it caused an episode of DP, because that was not where she was supposed to "be."
I think one of hte major issues with my dp/dr is the fact that there is so much change going on in my life right now, and I can't keep up with it. Within the past ten months, one of my roommates passed away, one graduated and left, the replacement roommate left, my brother, who I'm close to, got admitted to Chicago, and is therefore moving away; he is getting married, and in a weird way it's like he is leaving me in some regards; my best friend starting dating someone, graduated from college and has a real job; and a few other things. I don't know...i just feel like I am left behind while everyone else is moving on, and I think this could be part of my dp. Does anyone else have a MAJOR problem with change like I seem to have?
 

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:? Yes, I know the feeling well of seeing people out of their normal environment and getting a feeling that's really hard to describe. It's like we put people into a little box that we control, and when they step outside of that box and appear to us in a different box, we are no longer in control.

I would get the same feeling when two people I knew in two different environments came somehow to meet each other in my presence, so I had the two boxes for each person merging with MY box. Very odd feeling.

I still get it when people are in the "wrong" box! It's quite normal, and is in my opinion, about the perceptual boxes we place around people in order to be able to comprehend them. It's not like we want to "control" them or their lives, but we DO think of people as being situated in a constellation that contains other things, and those things are associate with them and when they are in their box (constellation), all is normal and well. When they step outside their box, we are not used to that and get nervous for some reason.

A typical example is parents meeting teachers at school, such as at a PTA meeting or something. Whoa. Mom sure looks very weird talking to my teachers. This is just an example (my mother never came to PTA meetings or parents' day or anything).

With regard to change, once you identify what it is that you really want for yourself, it will be more fun than anything else. You may not have decided what you want to do with your life, and you may be getting the feeling that you ought to be, so it's natural that watching others move ahead would be a bit unsettling. You will do what you need to do when the time is right for you. Listen to your heart.
 
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Sojourner,
Fabulous why of putting it. I have often experienced the same things that peaceboy described and always wondered why I just couldn't accept things and people for what they are and where they are. I don't know just wanted to say great post.
Kate
 

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I understand what you guys are saying. It's like we want to control the uncontrollable. After all, these people are outside of our conscious control and it's almost an OCD like feeling of wanting to control them. I've noticed this tendency in myself as well. As far as the boxes go, it's like when we see a behavior or tendency that we like, we can accept it, but then the person can change before our eyes and this gives us, or me at least, a feeling of insecurity and unpredictability.

It's all a matter of perception. Trying to control the uncontrollable is one of the aspects of DP/DR for me.
 

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Why, thank you, WhereamI! Actually, until I read Peaceboy's account, I thought it was just one of my own idiosyncratic and weird takes on the world. It was so reassuring to read his post -- like a light went off in my head and I just had to respond. I've had that crazy juxtapositioning sense when people are in the "wrong" place all my life and never talked about it. Those moments don't happen often (thank God!).
 
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Yes, I have had that feeling too. It sort of catches you off guard and makes you feel uncomfortable and scared because they are so out of context that your brain kind of panics and freezes.

I am on vacation right now and I have had a few similar feelings to what you have described but mine feels more like things are in the wrong place. We have been going to the same beach club for about ten years. Well this morning I look out the window at the cliffs around the beach cove and they looked all wrong, as if the were not supposed to be there. My brain and logical mind was really struggeling with it. I felt a little disoriented and confused. The feeling is so hard to describe but it kicks my panic and dr way up. It makes me feel as if my cognitive functioning is off.

Last night I was sitting on the beach wall playing a game of backgammon and I kept feeling turned around everytime I would look up from the board game. It was as if I had to reorient myself. I felt awful. I have so many weird symptoms like that. I never know if it is all anxiety dr related or something else.

Can anyone relate????
Hope you are feeling better peaceboy!

Sassy :?
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Hey sassy, i know exactly what you are saying with the world seeming to turn around. I may be doing a crossword puzzle, or playing a game, or reading, or whatever else and I'll look up and the world seems to take a minute to settle back into place. I'm not sure if this is part of dp/dr or just a normal reaction with people readjusting, just extreme in our case. What you are describing may be a little different, but I know the feeling either way. :?
 
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