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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello,

So first of all I must say things have improved on some level since the first time I posted on this forum and I'm quite happy about it, I'm currently on medication (effexor) and things are getting better, I can start to sense my feelings a bit.

Okay so this is maybe going to sound weird but I have serious issue there I need to deal with.

It's been a few weeks I fell in love with a girl at my school. I'm currently on holidays and I can't see her much at school. I invited her on fb, we talk quite a lot and everything's fine, except me. Since I started talking to her, and even more since I saw her a few days ago (we had a long walk and it was nice), I am completely obsessed by her. I'm always thinking about her, everything gravitates around her. I could just think that these are just the way my feelings are but that's not all. She literally controls my mood, when I don't get news from her I feel depressed and when she talks to me I feel incredibly happy. More than that, I can't fell asleep anymore. Last night we agreed we would see each other today, I fell anxious during the whole night, and woke up 2-3 times and had nausea this whole morning. I was happy to see her though until she told me she couldn't because she had a family problem, since then I feel insanely depressed, haven't eat anything and have no interest in doing anything at all and don't feel capable either. I only want to see her the whole day long and nothing else, I don't see anyone (I don't want to), I don't read, watch movies or anything. I don't want to give up on her because I know she can help me recover the pleasure of feeling alive and myself again.

Do any of you have this kind of obsessions with the persons you love or that matter to you ?

If yes, how do you deal with it /control your feelings ?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
why you think you need to control your feelings?
you just tell this girl your feelings :) its sounds so cute. you so caring. girl is lucky :)

Thanks, but I wouldn't go that far without knowing me first x)

I need to control them because I'm getting into a vicious circle of depression, and lack of activity as I am completely absorbed by her. I started this year very well, doing every of my homework, keeping my stuff organized, reading my lessons, and now just in a few days I got completely numb and inactive.
 

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In my relationship two years ago, I had the same thing happen.

Before the relationship started, I couldn't get her out of my head. I was constantly thinking about her and even felt ill sometimes when I knew I would be around her the following day. In my opinion, the nausea and obsession is pretty normal. When we become infatuated with someone, they somehow become our whole world. That's just how love is, really. But the problem here lies in the depressive episodes. I can't really gauge why you're having these feelings, but from my experience in particular, it was because the relationship I was in was the only meaning I was giving myself.

You know that saying, "You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else"? Do you think this applies to your situation? That's something I found whenever I had similar feelings before and during relationships. It took me awhile to be happy by myself or with my own hobbies. Instead, the only happiness I would get was from the girl. You have to find a good balance between enjoying the thrill of a new relationship and making sure you protect your own feelings by finding importance in yourself first.

But again, this was just my experience with these same feelings.
 

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Well, I'm glad that you can feel such intense emotions, and such positive ones no less - for many of us that's a distant dream. And I hope you can establish something rewarding and meaningful with this girl. At the same time, I would say tread carefully, and always be #1 in your own life. You're young, girls are fickle, shit happens. And in all objectivity it's probably not a good thing to have her be the driving force behind your mood, although I know that's not an easy thing to control. What I would suggest is to try and establish a baseline of functioning that can persist regardless of what happens in your love life. Good luck to you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
You know that saying, "You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else"? Do you think this applies to your situation? That's something I found whenever I had similar feelings before and during relationships. It took me awhile to be happy by myself or with my own hobbies. Instead, the only happiness I would get was from the girl. You have to find a good balance between enjoying the thrill of a new relationship and making sure you protect your own feelings by finding importance in yourself first.

Well, I'm glad that you can feel such intense emotions, and such positive ones no less - for many of us that's a distant dream. And I hope you can establish something rewarding and meaningful with this girl. At the same time, I would say tread carefully, and always be #1 in your own life. You're young, girls are fickle, shit happens. And in all objectivity it's probably not a good thing to have her be the driving force behind your mood, although I know that's not an easy thing to control. What I would suggest is to try and establish a baseline of functioning that can persist regardless of what happens in your love life. Good luck to you.

Thanks to both of you for your answers.

That's actually pretty relevant to my situation. Even if I might tell myself everyday "you're strong" and "don't show weakness" I'm still an insecure person who lacks confidence and never found any true meaning to his life. I might just be blinded by the fact that she makes me feel alive which is why I got "addicted" to her and abandoned my habits. I do need to internalize that I am supposed to be my own source of joy, will try to work on that.
 
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