So since my deep suicidal thoughts have started I tried to get more in touch with god thru this whole journey ive been crying out to god asking for his help but I think I got to the point of hopelessness. I get into debates in my head of do I Really have faith in god I tell my self over and over that god loves me and I read the bible hoping to find a connection. This dp/dr makes me question everything about myself. I want that connection so bad but I almost feel like im having thoughts in my head that are unholy that fight with me. I feel like im going crazy. Does god understand us and forgive us from what this disorder does to us.