Depersonalization Support Forum banner
1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
299 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was about to drift off to sleep when this hit me, and I thought I would share it. I would like everyone, if they are so inclined, to try this next time they're deep in dispair. One of the problems we seem to have is no lifeline - that is, nothing to hold onto when we're feeling in the DP - and so we simply sit at the bottom of our well until "something" pulls us out of it. This can't be very good on our feelings of hope surrounding this thing, so, if you can - can you try this for me and let me know how it works?

Do these things (and do them for a good couple hours, even repeating and trying different variations):

Feel. Pinch yourself, or run your hands across the top of your desk to feel the physical world. Walk outside if its windy and focus on the wind on you, or step outside in the heat and focus on the heat. Snuggle in your bed and focus on the comfort of the blankets. Or (emotionally) watch a movie that makes you cry or laugh. Smell a flower, listen to the rain, do something that is feeling - or using your senses.

Engage. Engage in something real and physical such as doing the laundry, or cleaning the house - typically something personal such that you're exerting yourself, but also not in your head (like daydreaming). If you're a programmer, program something, if you're a musician, play your music, but do something real - even if it's only to go mow the lawn.

Associate. Talk to someone (someone real and in front of you), engage in a conversation with someone arround you and actually ASSOCIATE - that is, listen, and communicate and understand their point of view. Associate with someone.

React. Put yourself into a situation where the world isn't a one-way thing where you're simply observing - that is, put yourself into a situation where you have to react. Debate, play a sport (a real sport), turn on the news and form an opinion on something - the point is to react to your environment.

This just kind of came to me in a flash, so it could be stupid. But I just tried it and it - well, worked. I'm fully here at the moment. Try it and then, please, get back with me so I can revise it if necessary - I really want to come up with something for everyone to DO when they're in the depths of this thing that is simple, easy to remember, and actualizing. These words Feel, Engage, Associate, and React will mean the same to us, but people will have to do different things to actually have them happen (if you're not married, you can't associate with your spouse, that is), etc. However, think about what these words mean and what you can do and do this consistently - whenever you feel the badness hit.

If you feel even the slightest bit better, it's very likely that, after a few months of doing this consitently, you may get out of it, or at least feel a damn site better.

Thoughts? Extensions? It's a matter of keeping it sweet, simple, and effective....notice the magic in these steps is that they're the opposite of DEpersonalize and DISassociate.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
227 Posts
Hey, i like those ideas. I've often done something to feel when i'm getting an anxiety attack or feeling really dp'd/dr'd. My therapist actually told me something along those lines. If i start feeling the dp/dr coming on, focus on three things you can feel, hear, see, smell. Something to bring you back to your senses. I like idea of associating, as well. I've been thinking a lot about the feeilngs of connectedness with people and the dp/dr. It has come back to me recently ery strongly, and I don't think it's too much of a coincidence that i've also been feeling extremely lonely. Not dating anyone, my best friend just graduated from college and has a "real job" (and a girlfriend) now, so i don't see him much. Another good friend went home for the summer, and my roommate moved out a few weeks ago. I think part of this could be because i have too much time with my thoughts now, so it brings on the dp/dr.
As an engagement, when I feel like this, i find it helps to cook or clean (for example I cleaned my hosue today and felt pretty good for a while afterwards.) I find if I watch a tv show or movie that makes me laugh i feel a lot better (ones that make me think too much or set me on edge/afraid make it worse). Thinking maybe i should start buying all those TV show sets of funny shows for this :).
Anyway, I like your ideas, Ben, and I do think there may be something to them :).
 
G

·
thats awesome ben. no doubt i'm gonna be doing these things. I did them to some extent but you really hit this right on the head. good job =)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
781 Posts
Feel. Pinch yourself, or run your hands across the top of your desk to feel the physical world. Walk outside if its windy and focus on the wind on you, or step outside in the heat and focus on the heat. Snuggle in your bed and focus on the comfort of the blankets. Or (emotionally) watch a movie that makes you cry or laugh. Smell a flower, listen to the rain, do something that is feeling - or using your senses.
This one really helps me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
299 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
To me it's the easiest one to do - so I tend do that one more, but the others seem to help quite a lot for me too.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
521 Posts
some great concepts you're point out ben. for me it's not the trick of actually doing those things you described, it's getting out of being "stuck" in my self-estranged world. it's pretty rediculous when you're feeling like a block or an "object" while your mother keeps asking if you're okay and how you're feeling. it feels as though feeling isn't special, like it's not part of you (feeling like a robot?)

anyway my favorite two would be Engage and Associate, React and Feel being #2. i find if i am able to engage and associate that feelings and reactions come back more vividly. here's another A you can think about: Approach. approach someone and make a conversation (similar to associate) althought i gotta admit it's gotta be tough starting conversations (being that i feel my EMPTY HEAD alot of the time)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
281 Posts
Ben I think your post is great. I have tried this and it does work. I have been focusing on the real things around me even though the world around me feels unreal. It is stay in the here and now. Focus on feeling. Depersonalization can pull into a pit where you are so inside your own world everything can feel blocked. By staying connected means you are continually working with pushing the dp away.

gem.
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Top