Dear DP, :shock: (sad name) -- we all have to maintain hope
Just a few comments on this.
I don't cut/never have and not everyone w/DP does. It is another "symptom" or behavior I don't know that much about. I know that Janine could answer more questions about it.
There are also support boards specifically for self-harm if you feel the need to do this. You probably have found some already?
I will say, when I have been at my worst DP-wise, I swore I would throw myself down a set of stairs if it made me feel more real... but it wouldn't. I don't see self-harm as eliminating DP. Wouldn't recommend it. And I'm glad you have stopped the cutting.
Also to clarify -- ever the movie buff. "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" is one of the best books and best films of all time. Top of my list.
In the film (can't remember Kesey's book, read it so long ago), there is a misconception that McMurphy becomes a zombie from another round of ECT. In the end of the film he is given a lobotomy. You can see the scars on his forehead when the Indian lifts him up to hug him. THAT is the final straw, Nurse Ratched's sp? final act of viciousness. McMurphy was not mentally ill obviously. But this literal crime agaist McMurphy's Self was what prompted the Indian to smother him (release him from that vegetative state) and "fly over the nest" and away. Both of them were able to escape that way. Extraordinarily moving.
I am in group therapy right now. Two people in the group have gotten E.C.T. These days one must give full permission to have it, and these people are outpatients with severe depression that does not respond to conventional treatment, and their depressions are so severe they cannot work/function much at all.
They talk of short term memory loss, but it does help some with treatment resistent depression. Especially the elderly who cannot tolerate certain medications at all.
My understanding about E.C.T. on DPers (I considered it myself at one point) is it doesn't work. One person noted it made his DP/DR far worse. Another noted immediate RELIEF from DP/DR which faded after about a week.
I chose not to go with it. My psychiatrist at the time was very much against it in my case. Again it is more appropriate w/treatment resistant depression -- a treatment of last resort for those who have been hospitalized over and over.
Anyway, my experience when feeling hideous DP/DR which has left me immobilized and note, I haven't felt that in a while, I am doing much better -- meds/therapy/TIME even ... anyway, in my experience with hideous DP, "waiting it out" has been the best choice. Self-harm, though compulsive in certain people, is not the answer.
P.S. I love Jack Nicholson, and found Scatman Crothers absolutely wonderful/hilarious in that film. I miss the guy.