Depersonalization Support Forum banner

extacy?

4843 Views 37 Replies 13 Participants Last post by  Seeker
has anyone on this site taken extacy? im thinking this drug might've been what did me in finally. it all started with pot but i don't think pot is as extreme as this drug. also i've takes shrooms, but i think extacy is the culprit. damn me for not listening to the damn warnings!
21 - 38 of 38 Posts
thinwhiteduke, I'm not trying to criticize you in any way, but I just don't see any way that you could carry on altering your mind and expecting it to recover. It's like trying to get back to reality and at the same time tricking your brain and setting yourself back in my opinion. I'm just concerned for you. I would never do such a thing - and to be honest, I used to love drugs.
G
well, there are certain drugs i avoid, like pot and psychadelics which can obviously affect this. The stimulants i take are really just like having alot of coffee.

But being if i'm paranoid and am scared of other things, i can completely forget dp/dr for the time being. I am slowly getting better (or at least not noticing dp as much).

I'm not really sure if can explain it properly but here is a horrible example; your upset that your bathroom has stains. You then realize the tap doesn't work. You thirst for a while and when the water comes back you're as happy as ever and don't notice the stains.
I can see where youre coming from in a way thinwhiteduke. sometimes I feel like "might as well get fucked up as hell to escape all this crap"...and well, I don't take THAT much of anything...but the occasional pill or something...kind of a nice escape. Why the hell not?

I have been prescribed amphetamines (Adderall) on and off since 17, and for most of my DP "career". I have found at times for Adderall to be extremely helpful. But before everyone goes running to the doctor, I will also add that some people on here didn't benefit from Adderall at all. I'm the type that loves stimulants, i find benefit in lots of caffeine, etc. Everybody is different...blah blah blah.

I will say, however, that Adderall has had its own separate set of problems and has not cured me, I think it has remained neutral in the whole realm of being cured.

But amphetamine use, combined with I guess my own psychology, has seemed to be helpful at times. Sometimes it made a situation better. Not the cure. But helped me and gave me enough of a boost that I could go out and do the things benefecial to being cured.
See less See more
also I think that anything that distracts you from dp even if it is getting loaded on drugs, will be helpful in letting you know the possibility of distraction and escape from dp.
G
i don't see street drugs any different from prescription drugs (minus the purity, etc). The laws aren't based on the effects of the drugs at all. If some street drug is another person's paxil, why not?

Not that drugs are curing me. Person3 explained it pretty well actually.
thinwhiteduke said:
I'm not really sure if can explain it properly but here is a horrible example; your upset that your bathroom has stains. You then realize the tap doesn't work. You thirst for a while and when the water comes back you're as happy as ever and don't notice the stains.
You're right. You won't notice the stains until you aren't thirsty. (coming down)

Then you become thirsty again and you drink and drink and drink, avoiding those stains that need to be 409'ed. They need attention. Those stains won't go away on their own, any they won't disappear by placing a rug over them.
In refering to two posts I saw on here:
One was talking about RX and nonRX drugs that can contribute to this disorder. I am pretty sure that I read caffine as being one of the things on the list. I know as person3 was saying everyone is different but as I see it if there is a list that say this this and this can be contributeors I dont see why you wouldnt lay off them to see if it could help.
Also the post to Janine where she was talking about ths condition does not cause the anxiety and fear and feelings we dont admit, but rather those are all the things causing the condiion.
So I hope I do not step on toes here buuuuut.... if you are taking something to "escape" for a while is that avoiding the problem and the issue is a way. Thereby hindering recover not benefiting it. Furthermore you say "why the hell not" well... do you not want to be cured? Do you not want to be able to live without this as a constant plauge? How can you get over it and move forward if you keep playcating (sp?) your need to escape from it? as I said before is that part of what is causing this? I mean weather it is drugs or just your house(my safety get away) if you are using it as a safety net and something to help escape the feelings you dont want to face then I surely dnt understand how you can move forward?
Thinwhiteduke, I think it was you, that said that the use of drugs or other chemicals helps you to go out into the world and face things that you might not otherwise. Well this seems like a contradiction in itself. You are altering yourself... that is not maintaing a normal balance, even if you are just drinking caffine, to allow yourself to do things. So what does this mean? I mean how do you expect to be able to go out without the alteration in the future. I mean I understand you are saying that it makes you braver or whatever to do things but if you cant do it alone then how will this matter! I suppose if over time you become more able to do things as a result of trying things with some alteration then that is a plus. However it seems it would surely take longer and more effort! I mean you can face things head on and charge through, terrified as hell, possibly even feeling you will pass out, just as I did, and then come out feeling ... lol well awful because it was so hard but knowing you made it. Or you can playcaite a need to "escape" or to feel"more at ease" thereby not facing it head on but rather sideways and in the long run taking longer(if ever) to get where you want to be!
See less See more
In fact on that note I refer to my reply in the post "leaving your comfort zone" you should read it if you havent
G
yeah i read it, it was a good post. Well i'm recovering, i know for sure that i'm a hundred times better than what i was two months ago. The drugs i do don't effect my dp/dr. A night on say speed is a fun night but just another dp'ed moemory the night day. I expected drugs to make me better, but now they are just something fun like watching tv or something. Only maybe cigarrettes i actually use to calm myself down; and thats probably because of the motions i go to do it, not the nicotine.

I think my dp, alough brought out by pot stays because of my fear of death. I'm trying to overcome it.

I don't think i said drugs let me overcome and let me face the world, maybe i forgot (hazy memory is an effect of dp haha). However, they let me have a lust for it. Its just a temperory break, i thought to myself "hey, everything is gonna be alright". I can convince myself and look at things more rationally. Life you know on a great day, everything in the world just seems so well, sunny.

I would never touch pot because it woulds set me back to square one. Caffiene and Coke don't have any effects on dp (although both have alot of other side effects).
See less See more
I appologize thinwhiteduke. You were right, it was person3 who said it:
"But helped me and gave me enough of a boost that I could go out and do the things benefecial to being cured."
and on that note I stand firm to what I said.
thinwhiteduke said:
i don't see street drugs any different from prescription drugs (minus the purity, etc). The laws aren't based on the effects of the drugs at all. If some street drug is another person's paxil, why not?

Not that drugs are curing me. Person3 explained it pretty well actually.
If your brain chemistry isn't unbalanced, anti-depressants do NOTHING for you.

That's why Zoloft, Paxil, and so forth are not street drugs.

They don't have an "effect" that any but the people who are ill can perceived.

So your analogy is not only faulty, it is the kind of thing that some people might believe unless it is refuted.

I think those of you who are refusing anti-depressants are in for a surprise when you finally agree to be treated with anti-depressants.

Where anyone got the idea that antidepressants have any perceptible effects to NORMAL people, I don't know.

You are evidently not normal, in that you say you have DP, which it is my personal belief is a low-intensity anxiety attack (that is, you have the mental symptoms -- I hear what you say about DP -- but you do not have the physical symptoms, which spawn additional mental symptoms of fear of imminent death, DP, and so forth).

I suggest that everyone here try antidepressants for whatever length of time your physician recommends as a fair test (sometimes 6-8 weeks, but you may have immediate relief or relief after 1-2 weeks).

You have nothing whatever to lose by trying antidepressants.

My fantasy at this moment is that someone would come along and recruit you for a "study" and PAY you to go on anti-depressants to give it a trial. I'd bet some of you would do it, then.

But, because fantasies are just that, I will just urge you to try them.

Remember, don't believe that speed is just another person's Paxil. That is false. If there were a mental health professional on this board, he or she would tell you that I am correct.

But I don't expect anyone will believe me -- after all, who the hell am I?

Do your own research and find out for yourself.

Best wishes to you all,

Sojourner
See less See more
Can you describe in detail more of what positive things have happened to you since you've began using anti-d's ? Please give lots of details. I'm personally thinking about trying them, especially since doctors have discovered that I have a chemical imbalance in the brain.

Thanks,
Uni
G
sojourner, i was using paxil as an example, one of many drugs. Speed is both a street drug and a precription drug under the name dexidrine (dextroamphetamine) and desoyxn (methyamphetamine).

There isn't a recreational value from zofolt and thats why you won't find it on the street. However, as a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, prescription-style use of the drug will effect you, regardless of if you are "ill". Wheter the effects are desireable is another question. I was reffering to not street drugs having the same effect as paxil. I mean if you use another for the same function as paxil, i.e. better mental health.

Most of the "street" drugs are also used in the medical field. Currently esctasy is being tested for reilegalization for psychatrist organized therapy.

My point was you'd find it strange that if someone (say ADD) said speed helped them mentally, but you would find it okay if they said they had a ritalin prescription. Street drugs aren't street drugs because they are 'bad' (not denying that abuse causes harm), they become "street durgs" because the _majority_ of thier use becomes recreational. I am saying take the drug that helps you. You might find esctasy helpful. Probably most of us with dp wouldn't, but people with other disorders would benefit. A better example, they are discovering opiates might help with OCD, which alot of us seem to have. If it helps use it, don't write it off just because someone called it "Street".
See less See more
Any other persons with extacy induced problematicos?
Yeah i didn't start feeling dp until the last time i did ecstacy. I ended up paranoid and somewhat delusional. It was extremely hard to concentrate or enjoy anything. I began to sort of hate this meaningless world of self indulgence and everyone in it. I would wake up from crazy dreams feeling shook up and awful. Nothing seemed real and i had no feelings towards anything or anyone anymore. I started getting quite religous hoping that god could help in some way. I have gotten much better but i still have a lot of crazy dreams and am depressed. It might not have been all ecstacy though. I had a horrible trip of mushies a few weeks before it that left me questioning all aspects of reality. There is one good thing that i have gotten out of it and that is to question the parts of our culture that don't make sense.

On what sojourner said that antidepressants don't affect those without imbalances; I have seen a couple of my friends trip of wellbutrin so that is not exactly true. His pupils were huge and he was doing everything at a mile a minute. Also what you said about nothing to lose by trying them; you may be right for many people, but my mothers boyfriend became very irratable and irrational on one (maybe zoloft) he tried to stop and felt awful. Now is on a long tapering off plan that will take months.
See less See more
By the way, 'E' caused my second year long period of DR/DP. I think, perhaps, because I took too much. I've taken it (stupidly) before and after with no ill effects. But I'd still stay away from it if you have a mental illness. It's playing with fire.
I have tried it, or not tried: I used to take lots of them through many years (6 years). I think I have eaten hundreds of that pills... But I never experienced DP/DR!
It was in August 2005 when I last took an E and my DP/DR came out in October 2005, so I don't think that E caused my DP/DR... but maybe it can develop it...
I used E for a long time and it was mainely for spiritual purposes.. During a session I would take up to 7 pills (a pill every 2 hours) to stabilize the effects..The only time i had a problem was the last time I took it and I think it was because of bad ingredients.. After a month or two of obsessing about not feeling right after that experience, I started developping serious DP symptoms; I tried explaining the situation to my therapist, and her only explanation was Anxiety.. I went to the extent of believing that something got damaged inside my head because of E (which is very possible with bad ingredients), she never took it seriously..
I do beleive that E had something to do with it, especially if you lose control during a session (or a trip)..it would be difficult to touch ground again in the following days..
SoulSeeker
21 - 38 of 38 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top