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Everything seems like getting worst and worst.

1933 Views 15 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  Alfred Tan
Everything seems getting worst and worst regarding my GF having suspected DP and wanna have temporary break for 3 months with me.

I thought of giving her time and space, and it see if she will be feeling better. But end up she feeling not even feeling better because she found out that I have contacted her aunt and parents to get to know about her. She feels that i still could not let go of her temporary and even not feeling well to me. I am feeling numbed and betrayed as i am trying to give her some time and space and at the same time get to know her through her families, but end up failed to do so and even getting worst.

Last night, I was thinking to break up with her for permanently, no more three months because I think that break up with her permanently will make her feel better and let her feel that i let go of her completely. Now our temporary break had passed by 1 month, 2 months to go. She said she even not feeling well on me and her close friend advise me to give her more space or else she will not only leaves me, she leaves everyone also. Nowadays we don't know what is she think, whether she is suffering or lying on us, nobody knows. What my friend advise is let her feel comfortable and better before she is getting worst and ignoring us.

Now I am completely LOST, DEPRESSED, CONFUSED of her weird reaction. She is completely different. I can see she wants a restart on her life and now i even don't know whether she is having suspected DP or not as she said her feeling is almost gone or maybe stress or whatever, I have lost my direction. I can't work happily, move on my life happily, and so on. If this keep on going and going, i think i am the one who get stressed and get DP, not her.

Sorry for long-winded message. But i have no choice and i am feeling hopeless and helpless right now, i don't know what should i do for next, i can't really move on and my life is full of darkness.
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Alfred, you sound completely obsessive. I don't mean to sound rude because believe me I have been obsessive in the past over people and so have millions of other people on the planet but looking at this as an outsider do you think this obsessiveness is maybe what's driving her away even more? or may be part of the reason why your relationship hasn't worked out? it can't all just be down to her, if you're like this out of the relationship then how were you in the relationship?. I mean you've joined a forum, wrote countless posts about her and even dedicated a blog to this girl - to me that is definitely over the top/bordering on obsessive.

Your ''relationship'' or your love for this girl to me seems like it's based on obsession/posession and not a genuine appreciation for her as a person.

There is a huge difference between real genuine love/relationships and fixation (though sometimes it feels like there isn't). Real love that you claim to feel is effortless, you don't need a title such as boyfriend or girlfriend from this person, you don't need to posses them, it means you simply enjoy the fact that they're in your life, you don't need them rather you just enjoy them. That doesn't mean to say you don't try in the relationship, have to agree on everything or don't make compromises to keep things working but overall it is effortless and this person enhances your life rather than complicating it.

Fixation as you can see/what screams out to me in your posts is not pleasant, it makes you feel like you're going to die, it makes you feel like you will never be OK again if you don't have this person, it feels like your heart is going to fall out of your bumhole everytime you think of them, it is stressful, it is probably one of the worst feelings I have felt (apart from dp/anxiety but I feel it's deffo up there).

I feel like your idea on what a relationship/real love are is completely skewed. A relationship isn't a possession like a car or a house, a relationship isn't a thing at all. A relationship is an interaction you are having with that person and the general tone of your interactions on a whole. Relationships are living and experienced in the moment.

REAL genuine relationships/love aren't created by trying to make someone do what you want them to do because you have a black hole inside of you.
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