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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
(im 19 male) Im so paranoid. Im so scared that everything that exists is fake and its only real and meaningful from our perspective. So in reality nothing matters. Like we are here for 70-110 years out of an infinitly long universe. We are like meaningless. IM paranoid about dying and my parents dying too for some reason lately. I cant even focus on normal conversations or relaxing or talking with friends. My brain isnt even focused or capeable of that anymore. The only thing my brain thinks is wake up, go to work, go home, sleep, repeat. And also when we die its pretty possible that nothing happens. I keep seeing people as animals like they are a different speces than us. It scares me to death all the time. I cant enjoy any conversations, relationships and life just feel like hell. I have anxiety attacks now. If this keeps happening than how am I going to find a family or a girlfriend. It dosent even seem possible. Im not funny anymore, iim not confident, I stress all the time and have dp. Like who in their right mind would want to date that person. I wouldnt. I couldnt get a girlfriend when i WAS funny and fun so how could I get one now. The thought of nothing is real keeps playing in mysterious head over and over everyday. Also its like my muscles dont work anymore. Like ive all of a suddon become uncoordinated and mysterious body dosent move as one. I want help but i feel like theres no point in even trying. I dont want to waste my life away and then when im about to die relize that ive missed everything that was good about life. I constantly have this feeling where I keep thinking "I need to get out" "I need to get out" I feel like I want to rip my skin off. My body dosent feel like its mine. Im scared of failure so much now that I barley try at anything. Its so hard to GENUINELY try. I cant genuinely do anything. I feel so outside of my family too. Im just starting to see a therapist. I just feel like i cant get out all the time. Im obsessed with how I feel constantly trying to analize my feelings and fix them. I feel like such a freak around normal people at my work. What should I do? Im so scared of being vulnerable too. I could die right now or tomorrow. I cant open myself up to anyone because at the end of the day they dont really care. People my age act like they dont really care and just want to mind there own buisness. And everything I do feels so serious. Im so serious now. I take myself so seriously now. Playing video games isnt even fun anymore unless I can buy things (with real money) in the game. I feel like such a bitch all the time. I cant pull myself together and stand up.

GN
 

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Hi

The feelings an thoughts you're having are exactly the same as mine. Over the course of 6 months I've gradually got better and I'm at the final hurdle. When I first started with it I just wanted to hide, but that's impossible for me due to personal commitments. So I had to go places and as a matter of fact, I went to places that previously caused high anxiety to prove to myself I'm ready to fight this off. Initially the thoughts took up probably 99% of the day and then gradually went down to about 5 - 10%. It's a fact that the thoughts are nothing more than thoughts. From day 1 I paid for a private therapist and I've used several different strategies. The one I've been using for about a month now is working perfectly.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hi

The feelings an thoughts you're having are exactly the same as mine. Over the course of 6 months I've gradually got better and I'm at the final hurdle. When I first started with it I just wanted to hide, but that's impossible for me due to personal commitments. So I had to go places and as a matter of fact, I went to places that previously caused high anxiety to prove to myself I'm ready to fight this off. Initially the thoughts took up probably 99% of the day and then gradually went down to about 5 - 10%. It's a fact that the thoughts are nothing more than thoughts. From day 1 I paid for a private therapist and I've used several different strategies. The one I've been using for about a month now is working perfectly.
Thanks. Thats what i have been trying to do as well
 

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It starts out with a question; how much of it is real? The skepticism sets in and lessens your appeal.. next you study conspiracy develop some theories and become extra wary of all your previous learned material.. your tolerance vs stupidity degrades, most your friends seem to be trapped in the maze. you narrow your associates down to the few you can stand and even they sometimes wonder what’s goin on in that head of yours. You study east and western philosophy, psychology, physics. you think a lot more and start to question existence. You wonder about your nervous systems limits, tamper with reality maps and then ask hallucinogenic induced: “who am I, what am I, am I forever?” All information breathes in the shallow dark halls of never, you can see where it’s leading, you wish you were dreaming if the castle crumbles no ones there to put it back together. Have you ever felt yourself slipping away, where all you think abouts your sanity and how it decayed? There’s no place to run, no place to hide, you can’t escape from inside and you’re losing your mind. You try to think of when it started and ask yourself why but each thought deepens the sickness and completes the desert dry. Fear feeds the derangement of the inner eye, with nothing left you find yourself fall into madness so you, finally realize, that you’ve always lived in hell. No human model or metaphor can explain how you fell. The puzzles alive and it changes as you try to escape it created time and made it appear to pass by- you don’t know what you think, you don’t think what you know. You’re a total lunatic, and afraid it’s starting to show oh- where do you go when your brain is your worst enemy? The 666th foot tall bridge on 7th street? You’re scared, you’re scared- why are you so scared? There’d be no problem if you didn’t care. Now you’ve truly formed an opinion about heaven, it starts out with a question and this is what it ends in.
 

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Now I know you felt yourself slip away, where all you think abouts your sanity and how it decayed. There’s no place to run, no place to hide, you can’t escape the fact that you lost your mind, but you can’t erase your mistakes. There’s no way to rewind. The harder you look, the harder it is to find. Fear feeds the derangement of the inner eye, with nothing left you find yourself fall into madness so you dive.
 
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