[Nadosa]

Hi,

I have severe problems to regain life. Everything is there, but not the same way, a way I cant accept. I feel like I dont belong here anymore. It is October, I ask myself, how can it already be October? Where has the time gone? My time perception is literally gone. My life is falling apart and I feel severely bad, depressed, sometimes suicidal, and that even after only roughly 6 months of DP.
DP made me realize that there can be another reality, it has forever changed my perception of the world, in a bad way.
I cant sleep anymore because I feel like I lost everything during DP. I feel like I died after my recovery, like my ego died.

Why arent there any therapists for DP, why do recovered people not become therapists? It is an overwhelming agony, I have a big memory blurr and I cant cope with this nor accept it.

 

[HopingCat36]

Hi,

I have severe problems to regain life. Everything is there, but not the same way, a way I cant accept. I feel like I dont belong here anymore. It is October, I ask myself, how can it already be October? Where has the time gone? My time perception is literally gone. My life is falling apart and I feel severely bad, depressed, sometimes suicidal, and that even after only roughly 6 months of DP.
DP made me realize that there can be another reality, it has forever changed my perception of the world, in a bad way.
I cant sleep anymore because I feel like I lost everything during DP. I feel like I died after my recovery, like my ego died.

Why arent there any therapists for DP, why do recovered people not become therapists? It is an overwhelming agony, I have a big memory blurr and I cant cope with this nor accept it.

When I had Dp/dr as a teen slowly recovered and life was the same. Now I have Dp/dr again (16 years later) and it came back like a monster. With way more symptoms and pure hell. Sometimes I think I am recovering but something it's just not right. I don't think my life is going to be the same if I ever recover from this. I feel traumatized, lost, disconnected, I don't know who I am anymore, the goody, funny, fun me is gone. I don't know what to do to get her back. Life just doesn't make sense even tho I no longer have existence thoughts. THIS JUST SUCKS!!!!!

 

[Nadosa]

Life after DP is worse, it is like either you become a completely new person, and I mean A COMPLETELY new one or you are comdemned to suffering. Please. Has anyone had similar experiences?

 

[Grindelwald]

It's a very gradual return, it shouldn't be an issue. Sounds like you still have DP.

 

[Nadosa]

No definitely not :/ I am completely myself again.

 

[HopingCat36]

No definitely not :/ I am completely myself again.

What helped you recover?

 

[Mimoza]

The perception of time is common symptom of DP so Be sûre that it is temporary and u have to keep ignoring it til u recover completely

 

[Billy D.P.]

I recovered once from DP and life was absolutely beautiful. That said, it takes a while. This isn't a disorder you just wake up from and move on with life. It takes years and years of struggle to overcome and eventually adapt to life without DP. It's totally worth it in the end though. It just takes a lot of fighting and a lot of pain but eventually you'll get there as long as you stay healthy and avoid what got you here in the first place.

 

[Mirato]

My time perception has been gone since my mental breakdown in January which put me into severe dp and dr. I've recovered in parts but still feel like something is very off.

Something which happened moments ago literally feels like it happened a life time ago. The feeling of always being on edge is also always there even though I may be in bed.

I've found just engrossing myself in things which take all my focus has helped. That and also human relationships are very important.

I can completely empathise with you Nadosa. It's been 10 months now and although I don't feel suicidal I still get passing thoughts most days. The strange thing is it literally feels like my brain is glitch into 24/7 it does weird things which I can't explain like over focus on bodily sensations and I have constant mind chatter in the back ground. A lot of obsessive thoughts which seem to loop and also weird mental perceptions of things.

I have recently been taking 5 HTP as anti depressants made me feel horrible and I must say the dp is still there but I feel much happier and calm after taking 5 HTP. You should definitely try it out.

Before I felt hopeless however now I know I will continue to improve. I have faith in my body and mind and know I will regain peace of mind and mental clarity somewhere down the road.

Stay strong. Suicide is not the answer even if you feel hopeless. There is light at the end of the tunnel, I promise. I was in an intense agitated state of suicidal depression for the first 6 months. However I am doing much better now. I am in a relationship and looking for work etc. There is a like after DP!
Stay strong. We are all soldiers. The Human spirit is so powerful. We can and all will get over this!

 

[dachewth]

I describe it like being locked up in a creative looney bin for years then released back into society. It's like everything is now so boring butt it's comfortable as opposed to dp/dr where everything was so crazy chaotic but at the same time you could think in such abstract ways because you weren't really locked into a physical existence as much. I had chronic dp/dr for 7 years then woke up from it by breaking my own cycle or engine that created dp/dr in the first place and when i woke up it's like I came back from an alien planet back into the "normal" planet which is just a censored version of true reality which is really chaos.

I know exactly what you mean OP and society and the world we live in does not and cannot relate to what we've been through unless they've been through it themselves so I can't even relate to most normal people i find them way too simple. I can only relate to other "crazy" outside the box thinkers

 

[Billy D.P.]

How long did it take you to recover the first time? Any tips you have, or wisdom you learned the first time?

The first time around it was mostly time. I got DP around 15 and didn't recover till I was 20 or 21. I didn't do anything particularly special but once I removed myself from stressful lifestyle habits, exercised more and didn't do drugs I saw my recovery speed up. I really think most of the battle is just hanging in there and letting time go by.

 

[Furlong]

As a fellow sufferer, I totally get the negative attitude. Living with this shit gets tough. I've had issues with this that have come and gone for 10 years, but all or nothing "Life is worse after DP" talk is total bullshit and counter productive. People get better from this. When you're brain is in the eye of the storm with these symptoms, you sense of time gets fucked up. When your brain balances, it gets better.
Getting your brain balanced again can be tough, but people do it.

Negative talk is counter productive. By far the darkest places I've been in this crazy life have been a result of think I'd never get better from DP/DR, then my psychology goes haywire. When I maintain self belief in a productive future and life, my symptoms are way better.

Nadosa, I firmly believe learning to accept the insanity and not fight it is a huge step in progress. Don't fight the fact time feels wrong. Don't fight the symptoms, and sanity will at least come back most of the way.

 

[Pondererer]

I totally get it. I'm a long term sufferer, and even tho all the symptoms have been lowered dramatically, i'm just not the same. Well at least not for long periods. When i'm actually like the old me, it's like a very temporary sensations that simply can't be maintaned.

 

[xxmdogxx]

Dp is a style of thinking and thats what scares people. It's subconsious in the sense that our minds aren't powerful enough to wrap around it and tame it on a day to day basis and thats why drugs help but that's also why it gets worse and worse. It's is a style of thinking that our brains are capible of. And everything that comes after that is a product of being freaked out.

 

[dope]

It's so gradual.

Really. I'm in the middle of recovery, I think and that mid term between having high dp 24/7 and then having moderate dp 24/7, like that time in between is weird, and you find out a lot about yourself or DP. It just comes gradually.

 

[Nadosa]

Whatever it is...I am mental wreck right now. I went from a joyful recovered guy (although some thoughts of DR remained) to a socially shy, severely, painfully depressed 19 year old boy. I feel more alienated from myself than ever, not depersonalised, but after all these stressful months I dont know who I am anymore. It is like a burden getting bigger from day to day and I dont know why.

 

[Mimoza]

Hi nadosa its same case with me , i wana ask u if u were "socially shy " befor dp . im in hell now with social anxiety and i think to take SSRI to improve my self esteem and confidence

 

[Nadosa]

Yeah I was. After DP I was self-confident af, but then everything turned downwards.

 

[dachewth]

Whatever it is...I am mental wreck right now. I went from a joyful recovered guy (although some thoughts of DR remained) to a socially shy, severely, painfully depressed 19 year old boy. I feel more alienated from myself than ever, not depersonalised, but after all these stressful months I dont know who I am anymore. It is like a burden getting bigger from day to day and I dont know why.

You know why....

you're avoiding your destiny

that what you know in your heart is the path for you is not being taken so you are going in circles avoiding your path

 

[Nadosa]

Life is unpredictable. There is no destiny. How do you mean that?