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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Do any of you get these feelings ? I get these feelings of euphoria when im listening to music, where i go into a state of great creativity, everything in my room is beautiful and the colors stand out and everything is beautiful it lasts for about 20 mins, where i want to go out and explore the world. Other thoughts i get is that since i have this disorder i should be using it to my advantage instead of sitting here thinking about wen its gonna go away and why this has happened to me, instead i should be giving my life, a sort of self sacrifice, sacrifice everything for the greater purpose for glory and having an impact on the world. You cant stop a self sacrificial body from commiting harm. DP has had an impact on my life, its like being in one state of mind for 16 years and suddenly it getting stomped on and a different state of mind overcomes you. I am trying to enlighten my spirit, and i beleive this is going to make me or break me. We are all special in this room, some of us dont know it, others always thought about it in the back of the mind. It is up to us to take the step to become who we were meant to be and not stay in this nuetral state of mind. Feel my emotions, swallow them.
 
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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Oh, I feel those emotions, i just dont feel like swallowing yours. Minus morning, work, being around retards, and some sort of drug binge, i feel like that all the time.
 

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I feel high loads. It doesn't lead anywhere, you'll screw yourself up more. But I do hope that afterwards I'll still see everything as vibrantly as I do now, and still feel euphoric at the smallest prompts from music or views or thoughts. But if it was a choice between that and not having dp/dr, I'd go for the latter.

If you mean that you're going to go and do good things and help people, then good, that's nice and will probably help your dp in the long term as well. If you're going to revel in the places your brain goes, or try to explore them, try to push it higher, then really, you'll end up wishing you hadn't, the horror gets more and more overwhelming and the feelings become more a part of you. There is no 'out' at the other side of it all, not a desirable one anyway, just numbness, spiritual deadness. Don't you want to be able to feel normal happiness, to have normal relationships, to enjoy life and other people, instead of being on a permanent trip?
 
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
well hell yea im tired this long ass dream that i go through, i just wanna wake up one morning feeling perfectly normal and not have the dp ever come back, that would be one of the best days of my life. And for the guy who got the point break dvd, man i salute u, i love that funking movie its freakn awesome.
 
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
i still feel euphoric at the smallest prompts from music or views or thoughts
its kinda scary sometimes, though im kinda used to it....its annoying when trying to concentrate on stuff like when im doin my uni work and just feel like im wayyy tripped out.... If only there was a balance with it... It's enhanced my creativeness which is kewl so im using it in that way.... I hate the other elements..the depression..the ruminatin etc
 

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ive been where you are keanu, and there is a simple formula to follow here so pay attention.

there is complete and total validity to what you are experiencing. you will get responses that tell you to.. ignore it.. its bad for you.. its really a facet of your "illness". youre going to make yourself worse and so on and so forth. first of all.. that is completely false. there is nothing wrong with spirituality though there are people everywhere, even in here that would strongly dissagree, and try to pull you off your high. try to ignore that. cause this is YOUR LIFE. you call the shots.

BUT! thats not to say that you should devote all your energy to this experience. first of all.. you need to ask yourself alot of questions. "is this dp thing helping me or hurting me?" "am i communicating with the world, or shutting it off?" "am i able to do the basic things in life without worry, difficulty, or stress?" "do i really know who i am, and am i comfortable in my own skin?"

these are questions you must ask yourself before you even try to dive into the spirit. you have to feel, know, touch, and taste everything around you and be able to communicate with the world freely. you have to master all the basics of life and being alive. meaning you have to be able to care for yourself, meet all your needs here and now in this reality before you can seek out the next. deal with you. fix the problems that exist here and now. even though you really really dont want to. even though its so much easier to take the fast road and dissociate from it all. thats something you simply cannot do. and you cannot expect to touch the devine without mastering the physical. its like going from point A to point Z in one step. that is impossible. because you cant know where youre going if you dont know where youve been.

and doing all the steps in between is no strait line either. its more like a zigzaggy, back and forth and back again line. you will take one step forward.. 2 steps back.. 2 steps forward... one step back.. and so on. but thats the only way you LEARN. and thats just what this whole life thing is, a learning process. contrary to popular belief, this "disease" does have a purpose. its all a part of this learning process. AND, there is no rush!! you will get there when you get there.. but for now.. put the spirit on the back burner and deal with the physical. deal with YOU.

right now.. your health is all that matters. that is your #1 priority. the divine can wait. it will always be there.. and it will be there when you ultimately become a part of it.

 
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
good reply, but its hard to deal with the physical when you dont know where to start, its like its the same thing everyday wow today was yesterday tomorrow is today and day after tomorrow is gonna be tomorrow. I need a cure for laziness
 

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there are no cures to anything. thats the first thing you have to understand. it takes time and patience, acceptance and humility.

dealing with the physical is like climbing mount everest. if you stand there stairing at the mountian, it will look too difficult. you will obsess about the pain and torture you will experience trying to get to the top. you look at the mountian and say to yourself.. no way, this is impossible.

but thats because youre not looking at it right. what you should be concerned about is not the entire mountian. your first concern is your very first step. thats the only thing that matters.

over your life thus far, youve developed patterns. habits and rituals. things you do everyday without thinking about them. some of these patterns are beneficial. like brushing your teeth, combing your hair, looking both ways before crossing the street.. and so on. but we also have tons of negative habits. laziness is one of the big ones.. but there are many little ones that go along with it. these are the things we need to change. you cant just say.. "ok from now on im not going to be lazy." or "ok, from now on im not going to be a jerk" or "from now on im not going to be fat".

it doesnt work that way. you cant just become a general in the army by saying "im a general in the army!" you have to start from the bottom, private, private first class, and so on. and even between private and private first class, there are many things you have to achieve in between before you can go on to that next level. its the same thing when we are talking about mental and physical well being. you have to start at the beginning, and work your way up.

your problem you say, is that you dont know where to start. well of course you cant start from the middle, and you certianly cant just leap right to the end. thats like if you had a homework assignment to read a book and give a report of what you read, but you only read the ending. you will get an F because you didnt complete the assignment.

by starting from the beginning, you start from the most basic of basic problems in your life. you say youre lazy. ok, but why are you lazy? well its different things for different people. like maybe you spend too much time playing xbox or watching tv. from my experience tv is a huge problem. im totally addicted but if i threw out the tv, id be jonesing too hard for it and would most likely just get another one. thats because i skipped from point A to point F. instead what i did was i got rid of my comfy TV chair. sounds extreme, but what i did was i got rid of just the frame, and kept the cushions. now when i watch tv i sit on the cushions, but its not as comfortable as being in the chair, and i spend alot less time in front of the tv. when im ready i will get rid of the cushions. then when im ready, ill get rid of cable, then ultimately, the TV. but im not even close to that part yet. ill do it when im READY. and that means when my mind has had its time to adjust to the changes.

BABY STEPS. thats what it takes for the mind to adjust. like throwing a goldfish into a freezing cold tank after its been swiming in a jacuzzi. it will die, because it hasnt had the time to adjust. all changes must be GRADUAL. your mind is very sensitive to change. so is your body. thats why you wouldnt be able to climb mount everest in less than a day if youve spent the last year being a couch potato. your body needs the time to adjust to being active again, and gain the muscle and capabilities to be expert at climbing. that will come with time. but it will not come without effort. not STRAIN. slow and concentrated effort. two steps forward, one step back.....

slow down your negative thinking. dont be so quick to dismiss positive change. cause it is possible. just like negative change is possible. you and i, are the fat people who suck down a box of hohos a day and complain about being fat and miserable. sure the hohos taste good, but it ultimately leads to self destuction. and thats the connection we have to make. we have to give up the hohos if we dont want to be fat. we have to start walking and breathing and feeling the energy seep back into our sleeping bodies. we have to give up that which is causing us temporary bliss.. but ultimate suffering. we have to start from the bottom. because the bottom is where it all began.

 
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
fuck it im not even gonna try... im too lazy fuck it , im so lazy i dont even bother to read your whole thread, i dont have dp, i have dr so its not that bad its all good
 

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dont feel bad about not reading it. im not offended or anything. believe it or not the things i say in my post arent just for the person reading it.. its also for the person who wrote it. theres no harm in reminding oneself of what is important and maybe help someone else in the process. to be the teacher, as well as the student, because im no better or worse off than you. we are both travellers on this terrible, and beautiful path called life.

 
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