My primary care doctor's office was near the hospital. I saw him for an appointment and he asked me how I felt. I told him honestly "I feel like walking down to the river, and putting a bullet in my head."
I must have sounded convincing. He walked me over to the ER. I had to wait for the suicide counselor on duty to meet with me. Then I had to assure him I wouldn't kill myself to avoid being hospitalized
against my will. He agreed not to hospitalize me, but he said something that indicated he was more concerned about his reputation than my life, in the event that I actually did kill myself. No matter.
I wasn't about to kill myself just to make him look incompetent.
When I look back on all that stuff, I just think....why didn't you order an EEG and see that I was suffering from epilepsy? Why couldn't you figure out that my depression was a function of a neurological
illness? Why did I have suffer so long and unnecessarily?
I did once but I was drunk and high at the time, it was what triggered my DP in the first place the first time around. That was the first time I had lingering effects from a high well after the drug wore off.
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