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Well, lets describe this sunday from the beginning.
I wake up in the morning at 9:30, I feel terrible as usual;
eyes feel drowsy, derealization still going on, tension headaches...
I wash my face and eat my breakfast.
I turn on my DS and play some music from videogames I saved on the SD card.
A lot of sad tracks randomly show up, but don't touch my feelings.
I end up being on IRC with my DS, trying to find people to talk to.
Time passes very quickly without me noticing it...
Then my father comes downstairs, not saying good morning, instead criticizing that I am 'playing' and that it is childish
and I tell him that I am doing other things.
He showers and I go on the PC. without him noticing, just watching random stuff on YT.
When my dad is finished with showering he suddenly calls me a 'dead' person and asks me to come downstairs.
I slowly come downstairs as the PC shuts down... and he hits me, asking why I took so long, and that I am disobedient.
He asks in an angry tone, like he always does, 'take the ladder and set the clock good'.
I say to him, act normal, you seem crazy. He says to me 'I' have to act normal, I should listen to him. He looks ugly toward me, like he always does; I take the ladder and he sets the clock good. What happened then, I forgot a bit, but he ended up hitting me and saying 'go out of my house if you don't like it here' (Oh, BTW, I am 17)
I purposely let my nails grow out a bit so when he hits me I sometimes manage to grab his arm, it makes him angered even more, but at least he gets tiny scratches on his arm.

He then said to me that I should find work and I should stop being childish, again in an angry tone. I say again: act normal. I repeat to him that I am not using my DS to play games, but for homebrew (like he understands) and I have to bring it to him. I say to him, you want me to grow up but treat me like a little kid.
I give it to him and I go upstairs. After a while he calls me with an angry voice (food prepared).

While we are eating, we don't talk, but then afterwards he asks 'when are you going to find work', I say to him: tomorrow (because that is a stupid question, how can you be sure that people even need you)

I go upstairs in a hurry because I don't want to hear his voice; I turn on the PC; I wanted to watch Anime shows but then he comes upstairs (after he finished brushing his teeth) and says 'who gave you permission? give me the keyboard and mouse, NOW' he pushes the electrical toothbrush against my shoulder and I say to him, what do you want to achieve?
He replies that the PC is expensive (electricity) and doesn't want me to go on it.
He says, if you want to be busy with your programs, go to your friend and don't do it here.
He throws some chip I have on my desk on the ground and moves it with his toes...
'your friends are not welcome here' I think, what, only 2 people come here to play with me, then I say
'But you always hit me, or busy with that stupid TV, you are never kind toward me'
He says 'I need to forget my pain' He pushes me and says I am going to make you blind with this (electrical toothbush)
I say to him you don't know what real pain is!
He says real pain is having your mother and a kid like you, and working so hard, for nothing.

I tell him, you only work 17 hours a week, total (in a different way) and you're complaining!
I say to him, you should have enough money for everything, if you think you work 'so hard'
He becomes angry and tries to hit me, I intercept, then pushes the electrical toothbrush SHARP END in my FLESH (right hand) quite a wound and it bleeds.

He goes away after saying a few things, and that I have to unplug the keyboard and mouse and take the DS he took downstairs...

But now he's gone and I am not listening to him, and posting this...
How can I focus with my sickness and this stupid thing that law calls my father...

Hair Arm Eye Jaw Gesture

Nov 02 2010 11:21 AM

Honestly, fuck ur dad. what a fucking ass hole.

Hair Arm Eye Jaw Gesture

Nov 23 2010 01:46 PM

what a stupid asshole your dad! its not your fault!!

Hair Arm Eye Jaw Gesture

Nov 23 2010 01:48 PM

Fullmetal: ben je nederlands trouwens?

Hair Arm Eye Jaw Gesture

Dec 05 2010 12:45 PM


Hair Arm Eye Jaw Gesture

Dec 08 2010 09:42 PM

Walk up behind him while as he takes a bite from his bowl of cereal and punch him in the side of the face. Sorry, kid. Sounds like a hard lot.
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