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Emptiness and death

2852 Views 21 Replies 8 Participants Last post by  Sojourner
I haven't posted a new topic for such a long time but I had the urge this evening.

My level of anxiety has diminished somewhat but I'm having feelings of emptiness and apathy. Also it seems like I'm waiting for something to happen to finally make me realise that all this DP/DR is over. And my mind is constantly ruminating about the finality of death and the fact that it's awaiting all of us. And I keep thinking of all the people that were once part of my life that have now passed.

I'm amazed that so few people think about death. Here I am a conscious being and then nothing...incomprehensible nothing. No me, you, family, friends, thoughts, feelings, reality.....nothing. When I think of this stuff everything begins to lose all meaning. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, it's more a feeling of melancholy. I seem to be good at blocking my mind from thinking about it but that might be making these feelings worse. But what choice do I have. If I think about death, trying to understand it, it only leads to fear, sadness and unfortunately an increased level of DP.

I'm almost thinking of making myself believe in god and a heaven to alleviate this mood but I would only be lying to myself. Just wondering if anyone has had similar feelings?
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Milan - ask yourself a question. Why are you torturing yourself? Because that is exactly what you are doing. Consuming yourself with thoughts of death. Thinking that you must answer this question to give you peace. That is question is the most important thing in your life, and question that just has to be answered. Let me tell you friend, these questions don't have answers, or do all the other cosmic questions that haunt us during DR/DP/. And once you think you've come to so conclusion to this matter, do you think that your obsessions are going to let you rest?

In fact - and this is very important, and I don't know whether Janine will back me up with this - when my DR/DP faded, my obsessions (and I've had them all) increased ! It was almost like the obsession decided the suckle the dying DR/DP, and whoosh, back it came. Do you see how self-defeating this is? Bullshit. I'm not being hard on you mate, because I like you, but you are just obsessing. Obsessing, obsessing obsessing.

Don't let people encourage you that it's normal to constantly obsess about death or whatever, because it' not. Ask yourself, do you want to be happy? Even if happyness involves ignorance? I'll drink to that.

I'm amazed that so few people think about death. Here I am a conscious being and then nothing...incomprehensible nothing. No me, you, family, friends, thoughts, feelings, reality.....nothing.
Why are you amazed? And what is there to be afraid of incomprehensible nothing? Nothing at all! Less tham nothing! It's like being constantly terrified about a dreamless sleep. (I know what you're going to say - 'Yeah, but at least we know we'll wake up!!!!) What's the points of being afraid? You seem to think it's a natural to obsess about death to the point that it interferes with your life. I do understand, however, the fear of not living, not being alive, which is entirely different from death. Friends, family, loves, hopes, you don't want to lose them. So unless you're religious, I'd say the best bet is to make the most of them while you're alive. For christs sake, stop obsessing about man!!! LIVE !!! A certain fear of death is natural, but not to this extent.

Sorry mate - not getting at you. Had a very depressive weekend and i am sick and tired of mental illness. Sick to the stomach, and as long as I'm breathing I'll do my best to stop people torturting themselves in this way.
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A couple of months ago your were all over the board. You?ve become very subdued lately. Have you lost that edge of yours?
I fear, because of our past clashes, that he/she thinks I'll moderate everything she/he posts. I promise I won't. I haven't moderated a goddam thing, and while I don't agree with most of his/her posts, they never descend into slanging matches so they will stay where they are. If fact, in the past I've been the one slinging insults, and I apologise.

Difference of opinion is good.

You always bring a smile to my face Terri*, even when everything is shadow.

I keep a very watchfull eye. Thing is, since I've come moderator, everyone has been really nice. I revel in my power to instill fear in the lesser man. ;)

This is bait for his own evil, people. Be afraid, be very afraid
Have ye not noticed how good I've been? :cry:
Sometimes DP makes me feel overwhelmed by the concept of existence and then when I think of the opposite existence, death, I enter this state which is unbearably strange, surreal and weird
Milan mate, it is the same flavour of the same obsession. Do you see what I'm getting at? The obsession is the cause, the root, the be all and end all. Life, death, existence, etc, it's all the same. Obsessions feed on our fears and uncertainties.....and what could be more terrifying than death and all the rest?

I'm not blaming you, because it's natural to ponder these things when we are in the DR/DP state...but everyone thinks this, fleetingly...but they don't 'obsess' out it. Which, therefore, is our problem.
for a moderator
Why you little.....................(*&&^%^*%

Back to the queue with you, again.
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