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19 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello all, I am brand spanking new here. I am writing this to possibly gain some knowledge or insight from you fellow DP/DR's. I am going to break this into 2 sections... "The Good" and "The Bad". This will be fairly long, but please add all your ideas together!

The Bad

So it all started on November 2nd, of 2017 when I decided to eat an edible. I have NEVER tried them. I am 18 and have experimented with weed the past 3 years or so, not much. I received a whole brownie from a friend and thought to my self... "It's just one brownie, that is the equivalent to one dose right? Because I mean, who would make just ONE brownie the equivalent to 40 doses?". About a half hour I found out the hard way that I should have been more informed about edibles and dosages. I don't think there was very good information being passed onto me concerning how much I should have eaten. Apparently, I should have eaten a very small portion of the brownie.

Anyways, to sum it up: I had a very very very very very very bad trip! I remember thinking that I was actually dead. My (ex) girlfriend had called me and she thought I had strep throat. I don't remember much after that, but I remember falling asleep around 9 PM. I woke up a few hours later, maybe at midnight by my room mate. I seemed fine then, so I went to bed for another 7 hours. After I woke up, I remember feeling very tired, unmotivated, and still "high". Sort of groggy. I thought that I was still "coming down" from the edible. This lead to panic and frustration by me still feeling "high" as the next 5 days went by and I was concerned for the next week that it was laced. After a week, I concluded that it was not, and I had DP/DR after doing hours of research. My symptoms then were:

  • Waking up every 2-3 hours in panic, making me get VERY little sleep (maybe 4 hours total max)
  • "High" feeling - or what I learned to be the derealization
  • Little to no emotions, I would constantly stress why I was feeling this way
  • Tired near 24/7
  • Red(ish) eyes
  • Couldn't concentrate on any homework for college, or enjoy anything really besides obsess over this
  • Researching DP/DR and a cure every second because I wanted to feel normal again
  • Thought I was going nuts, depressed, scared, etc
  • Scared to drive
  • Didn't want to eat
  • Probably more that I can't remember because it has gotten better week by week (I assume)

The Good

Okay, so I would say that currently, I don't feel normal. But I will say that it gets better over time. A lot of my symptoms have faded and are getting less and less "severe". Maybe a little over 2 weeks ago, I read the "Recovery" section all the time and made a list of what people did to get better, especially if it was Mary-Wana that triggered it. I fully understand that if you get this disorder, it is all the same no matter how you got it. I am however, under the theory that if weed triggered it, then chances of recovering are near 100% no matter what anybody says, because it is a drug that alters your brain chemicals instead of your brain being "naturally" thrown out of wack. And I know many of you are thinking "This kid has it for a month LOL. That's baby talk". Well, here are my symptoms now:

  • Vision problems (only if I think about it too much)
  • Tad concentration problems
  • Researching DP/DR (less as I am not really caring, or getting used to it and it doesn't bother me
  • Tired and "DP/DR feeling" less and less

I notice that day by day, week by week, it has only been getting better. I was a wreck at first. I lost my GF. I thought about dropping out of college. I honestly went to the ER which cost me just over $2k. I thought I was crazy. Turns out that I was perfectly normal, just like you. I have made so much progress because I stopped caring a few weeks ago and thought to myself "well, its only temporary. And I am not going to let it affect my life or future any more". I get super anxious presenting in front of a class, and had to do one last week. It went GREAT and I got 91%! I have learned so much about anxiety / stress and how to manage it :) I noticed it got better after I stopped getting so stressed about everything and just became more happy. I was in shock with my breakup, and everything that happened to me the past month. I am still dealing with this, but definitely can see how one can get "cured" from this, and see myself posting in that "Recovery" section within the next year or two IF that. I will make a personal list that may/may not help your situation. Here are things that helped out tremendously and are continuing to help me out:

  • At first, it is/was DISTRACTION. I would play video games all the time, watch movies, listen to music, go out around people, working out and I even started a job to distract myself. This is important, because it is now on my mind less and less
  • I started working out, and noticed within a few days I was feeling much more relaxed and happy with life. I run for about an hour a day, and lift heavy weights. I do this about 4-6 times a week. Working out makes me happier with my body appearance and gives me so much more energy! Also GREAT for distraction. I don't know you, but I would highly suggest lifting weights as well as cardio. This helps out a ton.
  • Eating healthy and getting right vitamins. I have NO clue if this is affecting my recovery or not, but I do personally notice a happier mind and more energy! I am taking Fish Oils, B12, and eating fairly healthy cutting out a lot of unnecessary sugars and caffeine.
  • Getting off these forums. Yeah, these forums are great for connecting to others and sharing stories like I am doing now so I guess that I am contradicting my point here. However, it really serves me no purpose besides dwelling on the fact that I have this and made me scared feeling hopeless. I am coming on here less and less. I used to read these forums for no lie 5-7 hours a day and now only an hour if that. Also, if you do... make sure it is the recovery section.
  • Time. Nothing more to say. I wanted an instant fix. There isn't one. It sucks, I know. I am dealing with it too.
  • Realize that others in the world are suffering way worse than I am. Yes, this disorder sucks. But we can overcome this. I am not trying to offend anybody, but some people are addicted to cocaine, and other harmful drugs. People are suffering on the street.
  • Talking to other people. Engaging in conversations. This makes me feel like honestly I have nothing wrong with me.
  • Did stuff that made me nervous and anxiety skyrocket. Get out of my shell. Like I said before, I gave a presentation in class and I am sure a good handful of kids were nervous as well. I then noticed that others were not. What was the difference that made people nervous instead of not nervous? Were they "special"? No... The people who get nervous giving a presentation get too dang involved in their thoughts about what others will think about them! They think of the worst possible solutions while presenting and people will judge. I got nervous at first, but then realized a minute before that I had no reason to be. I blocked out those thoughts. Just "R-E-L-A-X" - Aaron Rodgers (I am a huge Packer fan)
  • Music started making me feel emotions again, especially sad music right after my GF broke up with me. I now don't really care about our break up and am happy. Which leads me to my last and final helper.
  • I stopped caring and became happy about anything and everything. Things that would stress me out now, don't really and I adopted an "I don't give a shit" attitude. I accidentally broke the ketchup pump at my job on the first day and thought "oh well" and laughed it off, where as before this happened I probably would have gotten stressed and pissed.

To conclude, I made analogies that seem to make sense to me and hopefully make sense to you.

1) Part ONE: My break up with my girlfriend. At first, I was super upset and cried and wanted her back instantly. She claims she didn't feel the same about me because I changed due to this. This lead me to be very sad. It took me a while, but as time went on after we broke up, I started to care less and less. And now, to be honest, I barely think about her. When I do think about it, I don't get worked up over it. We had a great year, but the less I think about her and the less I honestly don't care, the happier I became as a person.

1) Part TWO: My DP/DR. At first, I was super upset and cried and wanted to be back to normal instantly. This lead to me being sad and frustrated and obsessed with getting over it. It took me a while, but after time went on after I started to feel DP/DR, I started to care less and less (this is still a working progress). And now, to be honest, I rarely think about it. When I do think about it, I don't get worked up about it anymore. I shrug it off.

For the record, I am not taking any medicines and will not. I don't really care if that means I would live with this for a year longer going without meds. No need to. At least not for me. I will - and you will too - get over this. Just give it time, and go meet new people. Go bowling. And at least consider some of the things I mentioned help me. Especially getting off these forums. They're not "bad", but they serve no purpose I feel unless you're in the beginning stage like I am and trying to find tips to get over this. I am going to limit my time on this site so feel free to drop questions

I will leave you on this quote: "Live every day like it's your last"


Make it a great day today :)

155 Posts
You'll get better dude sounds like u have the milder version of this hell hole be glad you don't have a blank head wit headaches killin u all day

19 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thank you for your replies guys! I left this page up when I went to bed and noticed your responses. At first, I had killer headaches! I actually forgot to mention that, I had them daily and took ibuprofin but they went away a few weeks ago :) I was also dizzy all the time

Just thought I would update: I went to bed last night and only got 5 hours of sleep. When I went to bed, I had a lot of these tingling sensations in my head and my vision felt a little sharper. When I woke up, my vision seemed more clear! It seems (to me) that the vision is going away so much. I remember just a month ago I felt stoned all the time, but now that "pane of glass" or whatever seems to be reducing dramatically! I could perhaps have a very mild version of this and if I do then I am thankful that it's going away so fast. I think what helped was the fact that I found out about this after a week and that was half the battle.

I will keep you updated throughout the weeks/months! Take care :)

19 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
It is great that my symptoms are gradually getting better over time. I wouldn't say this is "instant", but it seems to be fairly fast to me. I still have setbacks every (other) day or so, but I see it as progress. Many people who have recovered say they go "two steps forward and one step back". At first I was going about 20 steps backwards and one step forward, but I seem to be doing "two steps forward and one step back", so there should be setbacks, but it gets easier over time!

Stay optimistic and remember that this is not a big deal at all. It is an eye opener for me, but won't be affecting my life any more than it has at the beginning!
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