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16 Posts
Hi everyone, I've been browsing these forums anonymously for about two months and finally decided to sign up and share my experience in hope of some advice and help. Anyways,
Im 19 years old and about two months ago I decided to take an edible at my friends house. The biggest mistake of my life, it sent me into the worst panic attack I've ever had and I thought I was dying. Amplified by the edible I could feel my heart pounding through my chest and my grasp of air slowly giving away, the time dilation of the edible making it feel like as though seconds and minutes moved by hours and years. I was dying but it lasted for what felt like forever (writing this even gives me intense mental images and I almost feel like I'm reliving it to a degree.) Ever since I've experienced the worst hell of my life. Nothing feels real and my consciousness feels unfamiliar with my body, the scariest thing is that my own room and people I love feel so unfamiliar to me. It's 24/7, I'll look at my room and its almost like I've become hyperaware of my surroundings and everything will seem alien and unrecognizable. It's so scary, every day is a nightmare and I go to sleep hoping it'll be over when I wake up. My depression has become overwhelming and my anxiety is almost constant. I feel like I'm losing my mind and I don't know how long I can take this. I'm so young and just graduated high school, my whole life was ahead of me but I ruined it. It's barely gotten better and I'm trying everything including eating better, socializing, exercising, mindfulness and I'm going to start going to a therapist soon hopefully. I don't want to die, I just want to feel better.
Thank you for reading, I hope you're all recovering and doing your best to get through this. Everyone here is truly strong and brave.
Im 19 years old and about two months ago I decided to take an edible at my friends house. The biggest mistake of my life, it sent me into the worst panic attack I've ever had and I thought I was dying. Amplified by the edible I could feel my heart pounding through my chest and my grasp of air slowly giving away, the time dilation of the edible making it feel like as though seconds and minutes moved by hours and years. I was dying but it lasted for what felt like forever (writing this even gives me intense mental images and I almost feel like I'm reliving it to a degree.) Ever since I've experienced the worst hell of my life. Nothing feels real and my consciousness feels unfamiliar with my body, the scariest thing is that my own room and people I love feel so unfamiliar to me. It's 24/7, I'll look at my room and its almost like I've become hyperaware of my surroundings and everything will seem alien and unrecognizable. It's so scary, every day is a nightmare and I go to sleep hoping it'll be over when I wake up. My depression has become overwhelming and my anxiety is almost constant. I feel like I'm losing my mind and I don't know how long I can take this. I'm so young and just graduated high school, my whole life was ahead of me but I ruined it. It's barely gotten better and I'm trying everything including eating better, socializing, exercising, mindfulness and I'm going to start going to a therapist soon hopefully. I don't want to die, I just want to feel better.
Thank you for reading, I hope you're all recovering and doing your best to get through this. Everyone here is truly strong and brave.