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Hi everyone, I've been browsing these forums anonymously for about two months and finally decided to sign up and share my experience in hope of some advice and help. Anyways,

Im 19 years old and about two months ago I decided to take an edible at my friends house. The biggest mistake of my life, it sent me into the worst panic attack I've ever had and I thought I was dying. Amplified by the edible I could feel my heart pounding through my chest and my grasp of air slowly giving away, the time dilation of the edible making it feel like as though seconds and minutes moved by hours and years. I was dying but it lasted for what felt like forever (writing this even gives me intense mental images and I almost feel like I'm reliving it to a degree.) Ever since I've experienced the worst hell of my life. Nothing feels real and my consciousness feels unfamiliar with my body, the scariest thing is that my own room and people I love feel so unfamiliar to me. It's 24/7, I'll look at my room and its almost like I've become hyperaware of my surroundings and everything will seem alien and unrecognizable. It's so scary, every day is a nightmare and I go to sleep hoping it'll be over when I wake up. My depression has become overwhelming and my anxiety is almost constant. I feel like I'm losing my mind and I don't know how long I can take this. I'm so young and just graduated high school, my whole life was ahead of me but I ruined it. It's barely gotten better and I'm trying everything including eating better, socializing, exercising, mindfulness and I'm going to start going to a therapist soon hopefully. I don't want to die, I just want to feel better.

Thank you for reading, I hope you're all recovering and doing your best to get through this. Everyone here is truly strong and brave.
 

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Do not blame yourself.
Mine also started from a panic attack. But not from drugs. It could happen to anyone.
Stay strong! We all wil cure!
 

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It’s been 2 months for me too and I totally feel your pain. I wish I could go back in time so badly. Hopefully we can all heal soon!
 

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Hello friend,

I am in the same boat, I tried an edible in Colorado about 2.5 months ago, had a massive panic attack, and have had constant, unremitting DP/DR since. I have also been browsing the forums anonymously but just now decided to make an account. I am so sorry for your suffering, I know that it is truly unparalleled and there is absolutely no human experience that possibly measures up to the emotional and spiritual battle that we wake up to every single day. I know how strong you are and how deeply painful your existence is right now. I truly admire you, and everyone who has experienced this. You are not alone.

There is a book that was written by one of the members of this forum who had the same cause of DP/DR that I would really recommend. It is $5 on Amazon. I like it because it is hopeful and helpful. He recovered. Please check it out.

It's called

"Recovering from Marijuana Induced Depersonalization and Derealization: A Practical Guide"

Keep me posted how you're doing. I'll be hoping the best for you.
 

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Hello friend,

I am in the same boat, I tried an edible in Colorado about 2.5 months ago, had a massive panic attack, and have had constant, unremitting DP/DR since. I have also been browsing the forums anonymously but just now decided to make an account. I am so sorry for your suffering, I know that it is truly unparalleled and there is absolutely no human experience that possibly measures up to the emotional and spiritual battle that we wake up to every single day. I know how strong you are and how deeply painful your existence is right now. I truly admire you, and everyone who has experienced this. You are not alone.

There is a book that was written by one of the members of this forum who had the same cause of DP/DR that I would really recommend. It is $5 on Amazon. I like it because it is hopeful and helpful. He recovered. Please check it out.

It's called

"Recovering from Marijuana Induced Depersonalization and Derealization: A Practical Guide"

Keep me posted how you're doing. I'll be hoping the best for you.
Thank you so much for the kind words and advice, I definitely will take a look at the book you recommended. I'm doing a little better and I feel somewhere in between limbo of recovery but sadly while my DP/DR has lessened my depression has spun out of control and is the worst it's ever been. I feel almost completely numb to emotions and it's negatively effecting my relationship with my girlfriend because I just can't express love or happiness anymore. Alas people truly underestimate how potent edibles/marijuana can be. I'm just really glad to meet people like you who've gone through similar experiences so I know I'm not alone in this. Best of luck to your recovery and let me know how you're doing too.
 
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