[Adiratee]

Hi everyone,
I’m so new to this but I found this site on Google and am somewhat relieved that after months of being terrified that I was actually going insane, other people experience this too. I’m in therapy and my therapist truly believes that I’m experiencing dp/dr as a result of me healing from a 10 year battle with bulimia. It’s so hard though….it just feels like one step forward and three step back. Like I’m fighting so hard to work through my Ed that has defined my life for the last decade, and now I just constantly feel so unreal and that my body isn’t even mine, and that I have no idea who anyone around me is or the things I used to feel were so familiar are so far removed from my sense of reality. I feel so aware of my existence that I am so unaware and everything just feels like a dream or tv show. For a while, I was working through it, and after a few months I just am experiencing it non stop. My brain just doesn’t get a break. I even started Zoloft for my chronic anxiety and it’s still just not helping. Every day is exhausting and debilitating and I’m 23 years old. I’m supposed to start a master’s program in a month and I’m getting married in 7 months. Life for me is privileged and I’m aware of this….but this has been the most terrifying experience and I am just out of ideas of what to do. I just feel so helpless and after so many years of suffering and pain from my bulimia, I just really want to heal.
i guess my question if anyone can relate or maybe see if there is a connection to dp/dr after a 10 year battle with an eating disorder? And does anyone have any tips, techniques, or ideas of how to start healing or managing it? I feel so stuck and alone. But I am determined and trying to hold on to hope that things can get better. And I hope they get better for all of you! If anyone on here has a group chat or anything on WhatsApp or otherwise please let me know. Would love to join and know that I’m not alone.

 

[sir.edward]

Hi yea I don’t have any tips whatsoever to help dpdr, I’ve had it for 2.5 years, it never got any better, never a sigh of relief. I still have hope though and every now and then I just try to imagine how it will feel when I recover which gives me hope and drive to keep going, try to find that thing that will make you keep going. In regards to ED and DPDR my story is the same. Although it wasn’t a decade long ED it was a very brief, like extremely brief compared to most, but horrible, hospitalised and under constant surveillance from the hospital team horrible. I got better when it comes to the ED, I got better because i was essentially forced to get better, it wasn’t really my choice. Luckily that’s gone and the ED doesn’t occupy any space in my head anymore. After the ED I was left with crippling DPDR. So yea I can relate and I feel like the DPDR was just a substitute to the ED. I think the DPDR is a result of the horrible trauma you get from an ED, and its a natural defence mechanism to that trauma. When I think of the times during my ED I get serious panic, just from the thought of it. Luckily I don’t think too much about it, but yea that’s my hypothesis, that DPDR is some sort of defensie mechanism to the trauma you endure from the ED.