I just wanted to write briefly on my thoughts about this website. It's somewhat positive and somewhat negative, so if you don't like the sounds of that maybe hit the back button. It's not my intention to offend anyone here, or belittle what anyone is going through, I just wanted to say a few words on it.
Personally I've gone through the whole process over the past 5 months and am very nearly recovered. It's was a horrible journey but it has taught me a lot about the condition and about myself. Basically, the only person who can fix this is you. There's no magic pill, or combination of multivitamins, or psychic therapist. Any recovery story I've ever read on here and elsewhere (that hasn't been told with the purpose of selling a product) has contained all the same info, the same info that you, the reader, have read plenty of times. Exercise, healthy balanced diet supplemented with whatever you're not getting enough of, socialising, a regular sleeping pattern, and distraction. With a big emphasis on the distraction.
This condition feeds off negative thoughts, worry, anxiety, fear, paranoia, and a lot of this comes from this website and similar websites. I know well. I spent the first 3 months of my journey on my computer 8 hours a day, freaking out reading the horror stories, or even reading about other peoples experiences, endless searching on google for cures and tablets and taking test to see if I was schizophrenic or bi-polar or whatever else mental condition I could think of, seeing if I had any similar symptoms. These thoughts and feelings you read about are so familiar and so real that hearing about them reminds you of their presence, and is a constant reminder of what you're going through. How can you ever expect to recover from this if all your are doing is constantly reminding yourself you have it? An alcoholic doesn't sit in a bar all day looking at other alcoholics drinking and expect to recover.
I will say when I first found this site I was so happy to see I wasn't alone in this, and that other people could relate to me, but over time I'm returning less and less. It's just sad to see so many lost people scrambling for answers in fear, and yet there's usually no-one to answer them. Just the usual "me too, I feel the same." It reminds me of (sorry to use another drinking analogy again) an AA meeting in a bar, with no actual leader or guide there. Just a room full of people with the same problem, surrounded by what is hurting them, and no-one to show them the way out. That isn't meant to be condescending, and I know there are people on here who are on the road to recovery with a solid head on their shoulders, but it takes a lot of understanding to get to that point, which the majority of people here don't seem to have just yet. There is a lot of good information on this site, but twice as much material that scared the shit out of me and made me feel worse, and had me looking for symptoms I didn't even have. If you're trying to get through this, stick to the recovery forums, that's all you need. Get your support from friends and family. They're not going to think you're insane, if they love you they will want to help, and will do what they an to support you. Don't be ashamed of what you're going through, if you're young and this happened from smoking weed, so what? Your parents did the same when they were your age, and then not going to let their child go through this alone and scared regardless of what their opinions of weed are.
My main advice to people here is try to understand what is happening to you, and why it is happening. Trust that it is happening in an attempt of self-preservation in what was deemed by the instinctual part of your brain as a time of threat and danger. All this condition is is a protection mechanism, but unfortunately for us, it seems worse than whatever the catalyst experience was. Accept that this is just a part of your life right now and make peace with the sensations you experience. They are completely harmless. It seems to be a catch 22 situation, this whole condition seems to arise as a protection mechanism from stresses, fear, anxiety, panic etc, but the condition also seems to create more of the same emotions. The key for me to beating this was simple enough in my mind; "If all this condition is is a mechanism to protect me from danger, how can I be free of it if I'm afraid of it?" As soon as I began to make my peace with it, flow along and trust my body's instinctual behaviour, day by day I've been getting better, to the point where I'm certain I'll make a full recovery in the coming weeks. I will because I know I will.
Get off your computer, look after your health, let go of your fears and live your life, it's too short.
That's all I wanted to say on this anyways, hopefully someone will take something positive from it all. Wishing strength to everyone who's going through this, and know that you have the power to overcome this inside you, you just have to let it out.
you have a lot right here. the only thing that is going to help you to recover is yourself. if you are anything like me then im sure your mind was or is all over the place, uncontrollable. like trying to tread water when you cant swim. for me, even the slightest uncomfortable idea would catch fire in my mind and turn into anxiety and panic, and depression. and for the longest time, i felt that this was something out of my control. but since i have learned that the mind is a very controllable thing. with practice and meditation, you can calm your mind enough to be able to change the way you react to and perceive your world. although your dp may not go away immediately, your trained mind will realize that dp is not what is in control.
im saying this because i strongly believe that meditation is the best way to gain some leverage on our situation.
everyone who reads this i strongly urge to look into different ways of meditating, you can find a way that is comfortable for you, and do it consistantly.
be positive and believe that you are not hopeless, because your not.
i have had HPPD for over a year now, with pretty extreme anxiety and depersonalization and i have tried many things to try and heal myself. but in my experience, the only thing that has honestly helped for the long run is my experience in meditation.
do it.
thanks for your post mr/mrs dc138,
your very right that a site like this is really no help at all unless there are people with truly helpful and inspiring things to say.
i liked your alcoholic analogies.
I just stumbled upon this site, and I'm glad to have found this post among my first reads. Everything here is very well put and explained very closely to my initial feelings of the website.
I don't know why I feel many of the symptoms of DP, but I know now that looking for "answers" won't fix the main problem. Things will get better when you practice both discipline and distraction.
very well written. i see success stories on here and i want to so badly be one of those. i think im almost afraid to get better or at least try. i envy anyone who feels this way and can pull themselves back together. i hope to someday be one of those people.
I like this text as well, its inspiraiting... I´ve just in week or two became aware of this dp thing and noticed that i´ve had it like over trhee yers. Knowing that you have dp doesn´t make it go away... it´s probebly most important to live life as normal as you can.But I feel you daniyellyshmoo... i fish i could be one of those survivors too, but i´m so tierd... I think too that i´m afraid to get better althou i wanted to..
Many of us are aware of accepting the emotions we are having even through the depersonalized state, but the depersonalization ITSELF is also an emotion.
The sooner we stop resisting it and accepting it and stop obsessively thinking and focusing about how it feels, the sooner we just might start feeling better.
I am in that stage right now, working on accepting the feeling of DP itself, acknowledging why it is there, and then refocusing on something else.
May be easier said than done, but everything takes practice right?
Look for the good in the bad.
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