[Nadosa]

I've recovered in July but ever since then I have this dark side of me which only sees suicide as a solution and I really see like no way out whereas with DPDR I had a rather healthy self-image of me.

Now whenever I think of me as a person, it all comes crashing down and I feel like not even a normal person anymore and feel this self-hatred of this dark side which just wants to end it.

It is a very terrifying after DP life but I just try to push through. Sometimes I feel like if others had been in my shoes they wouldve already ended it because it is just more terrible than the pain of DP. Feels like the image of me has forever been damaged and will never be repaired. I really dont know. During DP, when I was 18 years old, I just had a positive mindset...but I felt so damn unsafe in this life, always on the verge of not being able to handle it all anymore. Then one day I felt like I couldnt handle it anymore and ever since that day, it has been a real struggle. I sometimes wonder how I even made it through the past months

Tough times.

 

[Phantasm]

We give ourselves such a hard time, when we'd be so much more generous and forgiving to another person, like a friend. If we can turn that kindness on ourselves we're halfway there. You can repair your self-image, the self-hatred didn't come from you.