[vrgdani]

I have severe DPDR with extreme memory problems for the last 1 year.

I've noticed a few things during sleeping. Firstly, when I'm trying to fall asleep, my mind is racing thru things, constantly changing what I'm thinking about (I guess that's pretty normal). Notice that at this point I'm not asleep yet.
But sometimes during that time I get alert and I just don't remember what I was thingking about in that state. Like my mind is literally empty. And I'm just laying there thinking shit I can't remeber my thoughts, and then I fall fully asleep.

My second experience happened last night. Again, I was in that nearly sleeping state, where I was like 80% into sleeping (idk how to express myself lol). My wife was already sleeping, but suddenly she sat up while mumbling something and it looked like she was ready to get out of bed and go somewhere. She scared the sh*t out of me and I immediately woke up while asking her what's the problem and if everything was alright. She did not go anywhere, went straight back to sleep. She was not conscious at all. My hearth was racing at the time beacuse I've been waken up. I was immediately trying to get back to sleep, and I just couldn't figure it out if I was sleeping at all. My brain was thinking that I haven't even started sleeping yet. It was like 'Was I sleeping or I was just using my phone? I knew I was beacuse I remembered when I put my phone on charger, or when I turned to my side to start sleeping. I just couldn't tell that to my brain. This whole thing happened in a few seconds. It was pretty confusing.

Besides these times, I do not really have problems with sleeping, I sleep well most of the times.

Has anyone experienced 'sleeping memory' problems with dpdr?

 

[Trith]

My thoughts get weird as I am falling asleep, sometimes they feel like they make sense when I have them, but then I reflect on them and they don't even mean anything or I quickly can't remember them. But I have always thought this was normal. I was curious about these things as teenager, and I noticed it a long time before my DPDR started. When we fall asleep different parts of our brain start to "shut down" and I think it's absolutely normal that we don't function in the same way. Also you almost never remember the exact moment when you fall asleep, even if it happens at least once a day for all your life. This really means that your brain doesn't function in the same way when you fall asleep. To the contrary it would be really weird if we remained conscious and normal up to the point when we fall asleep. (Actually it happened to me just once during a meditation session to remain conscious while falling asleep and it was definitely not an ordinary experience).

 

[leminaseri]

My thoughts get weird as I am falling asleep, sometimes they feel like they make sense when I have them, but then I reflect on them and they don't even mean anything or I quickly can't remember them. But I have always thought this was normal. I was curious about these things as teenager, and I noticed it a long time before my DPDR started. When we fall asleep different parts of our brain start to "shut down" and I think it's absolutely normal that we don't function in the same way. Also you almost never remember the exact moment when you fall asleep, even if it happens at least once a day for all your life. This really means that your brain doesn't function in the same way when you fall asleep. To the contrary it would be really weird if we remained conscious and normal up to the point when we fall asleep. (Actually it happened to me just once during a meditation session to remain conscious while falling asleep and it was definitely not an ordinary experience).

interesting point is why people without mental problems dont even notice such phenomenon or even if, they dont take it serious or necessary, while we (mentals) have the ability to notice all of this to the deepest detail and freak out about.

i think the mechanics of having chronic dpdr are similar. it is more about a unconcsious focus shift of the mind i think.

 

[vrgdani]

interesting point is why people without mental problems dont even notice such phenomenon or even if, they dont take it serious or necessary, while we (mentals) have the ability to notice all of this to the deepest detail and freak out about.

i think the mechanics of having chronic dpdr are similar. it is more about a unconcsious focus shift of the mind i think.

That's what I'm trying to tell myself. (with no success unfortunately) That I was like this my whole life and now I'm just obsessed with everything I can consider "not normal".

 

[Trith]

interesting point is why people without mental problems dont even notice such phenomenon or even if, they dont take it serious or necessary, while we (mentals) have the ability to notice all of this to the deepest detail and freak out about.

i think the mechanics of having chronic dpdr are similar. it is more about a unconcsious focus shift of the mind i think.

Exaclty. When I was panicking about DPDR years ago, I remember I was looking at each of my thoughts and how they were shifting, the smallest details about their qualities, and usually nobody cares about this stuff. Even as a kid, I remembered wondering about weird things about thoughts. I was anxious about other things though, but I definitely had a tendency for introspection (not that it was very fruitful) and anxiety. Perhaps the two combined could give predispositions for DPDR, I don't know. But most probably for being afraid of being crazy.

That's what I'm trying to tell myself. (with no success unfortunately) That I was like this my whole life and now I'm just obsessed with everything I can consider "not normal".

When I had this it definitely didn't feel normal (even if it was). But when we have DPDR, so many things can feel abnormal. Even my siblings look weird and made me feel self conscious when I was talking to them. The most normal things in my daily life felt weird. And I feel it goes back to the fear of not being able to share these things with others. So when everything feels weird, and we start looking with an unusual intensity at things we have never looked at, I think it's not surprising that everything looks so strange.

 

[vrgdani]

Exaclty. When I was panicking about DPDR years ago, I remember I was looking at each of my thoughts and how they were shifting, the smallest details about their qualities, and usually nobody cares about this stuff. Even as a kid, I remembered wondering about weird things about thoughts. I was anxious about other things though, but I definitely had a tendency for introspection (not that it was very fruitful) and anxiety. Perhaps the two combined could give predispositions for DPDR, I don't know. But most probably for being afraid of being crazy.



When I had this it definitely didn't feel normal (even if it was). But when we have DPDR, so many things can feel abnormal. Even my siblings look weird and made me feel self conscious when I was talking to them. The most normal things in my daily life felt weird. And I feel it goes back to the fear of not being able to share these things with others. So when everything feels weird, and we start looking with an unusual intensity at things we have never looked at, I think it's not surprising that everything looks so strange.

Yeah I often feel like this. Everything feels weird. Even the basic everyday stuff. I sometime do something, taking a shower etc. and I suddenly start thinking about it this the “normal way” of taking a shower? Should taking a shower feel like this? Should I feel what I feel at the moment?
It’s been over a year, and my mind is so tired now.
I guess that’s the cause of my horrible memory and concentration.