[Wingman]

Hey all...

To make this simple I am just going to flat out go for it and tell you exactly what my symptoms are and if ANY of you have any advice or a shout out to help I would appreciate it.. Kind of lost at the moment...

About 7 months ago I had my first panic/anxiety attack.. Every symptom was physical.. Heart pounding, shortness of breath, etc...

But, then it turned into the following which I believe fits in to DP/DR..

1) Constant philospical thoughts (e.g. what are and where do thoughts come from)

2) Feeling trapped in my own thoughts

3) Loss of emotions

4) Unable to connect with others

5) Seeing others and longing for "normalness"

6) OCD and intrusive thoughts

7) Constantly thinking I may have something worse... (e.g. Schizophernia, Psychosis)

8) Feeling of being on autopilot

9) Detachment from body (e.g. thoughts and movements seperate)

10) Feeling weird (e.g. questioning being human)

Can anyone help?

The primary symptom (as listed above) is the constant philosophical thoughts.. I am constantly obsessed with why thoughts just pop into my head and how I cannot control that. Why or how decisions are made in my own head.. Wondering why reality is the way it is and how everything is man created and I am just expected to fit into the norms and values that "everyone" else hold.. Primarily, I just feel like "Wow, I am not as in control of my mind and thoughts as I once believed to be." I question why I say what I do, where emotions come from, why I laugh, why I frown... it just happens and I have no control over it.. It is living hell....

Can anyone relate or help?

Thanks for reading....

 

[xxmdogxx]

Hello it very much sounds like you are suffering from something beyond just depression or anxiety. If you feel like you dont know what the fuck is going on and you cant describe it it is more than just anxiety for sure.

A defining characterisitc is feeling numb to things but you can also be hyper sensitive with Depersonalition and Derealization. Do things not seem real? or if your even questioning it you have it. Depersonalization is a little bit more slippery I've found and you want to be right so badly because your ego is constantly being bruised but your not right in the head and people pick up on it. I hope that helps and ask me anything I hope I can help.

Marshall

 

[Cotillion]

Don't listen to the idiot who posted before me. Everything you described fits DP/DR, anxiety and depression, and most people in this forum suffer from the exact same things. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. So relax, and get those stress levels down.

 

[eddy1886]

Wingman I would be 99% sure you are experiencing DP...

I say this because your list of symptoms are classic DP symptoms...

Be safe in the knowledge that you are not loosing your mind...

It is anxiety and stress related...

Its very scarey but not dangerous...

You will feel better in time...How do i know this? Because i have gotten better myself..

The most important thing for you right now is to seek out the right support via family, doctors, friends, therapists etc etc

Take care of yourself!

 

[Wingman]

Hello it very much sounds like you are suffering from something beyond just depression or anxiety. If you feel like you dont know what the fuck is going on and you cant describe it it is more than just anxiety for sure.

A defining characterisitc is feeling numb to things but you can also be hyper sensitive with Depersonalition and Derealization. Do things not seem real? or if your even questioning it you have it. Depersonalization is a little bit more slippery I've found and you want to be right so badly because your ego is constantly being bruised but your not right in the head and people pick up on it. I hope that helps and ask me anything I hope I can help.

Marshall

I feel like you are saying it is depersonalization, correct?? Not just anxiety and depression..

 

[Guest]

He clearly worded it wrong, he's saying you do indeed suffer from Depersonalization Disorder. Reading your symptoms automatically makes me think of DPD.

Don't listen to the idiot who posted before me. Everything you described fits DP/DR, anxiety and depression, and most people in this forum suffer from the exact same things. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. So relax, and get those stress levels down.

No reason for this what so ever. This is the internet, his point was just misunderstood.

 

[Wingman]

You're right Jeff. It just took a couple of times rereading the post! Thanks for the clarity, we are all here to help each other!! Appreciated.

 

[thistooshallpass]

Hey!

I literally had every single symptom that you wrote. I've battled with intrusive thoughts way before dp and that in itself is terrifying. The one way I got over the intrusive thoughts is to just ride them out. I'm so sorry I know that sounds like a shitty response but I literally just ride them out and let them pass and slowly and surely they lose their power. Something that really helped me is this question. Do you control what you think? Yes? I thought obviously yes. Well not exactly. Your mind receives thousands and thousands of thoughts throughout the day and you have no control over all your thoughts. The reason the intrusive thoughts bother you is because they are the exact opposite of your actual persona therefore you become upset, panic, and the cycle repeats. In regarding to psychosis/schizophrenia. YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. haha sorry for the caps but you are not even remotely crazy! I promise you. I literally went to the doctor and was like "I've lost my mind, you don't understand etc. etc." and he literally laughed in my face. He said the number one thing he hears from people with anxiety in general is that they are crazy and then he asked me how many of those people were actually psychotic? You already know his answer: none. Crazy people do not question reality whereas in this mindset all you do is question reality and every little aspect of reality. Leading into the philosophical thoughts; to be honest I still have a problem with this especially when I am somewhere crowded and I start thinking too deeply. These thoughts do subside though I promise you. The jealousy feeling that everyone else has it better and that longing to just be back to normal mindset is completely normal and I promise you will be back there in no time. You are not crazy. You are not in danger. You are not going to lose your shit ever. You got this. Please stay strong. Keep on going and always know there are so many people here if you need any support. Message me whenever I wish you all the best!

 

[katiej]

i COMPLETELY REALTE TO ALL YOU HAVE SAID. IT IS DP/ aWFUL. BUT ITS DP. IT IS A THING, IT HAS A NAME AND IT CAN BE OVERCOME.

 

[Wingman]

You guys are seriously awesome.. We can beat this together. And, we are not alone.

 

[Confusedandtired]

Definitely DP/DR and what seems to me like obsessive compulsive tendencies as a result. I believe the barrier to your recover is due to your obsessive and compulsive behavior. You aren't letting yourself get better because you are not co-existing and excepting whatever nonsense pops up into your head.

Most of our thoughts are not consciously derived, they are biochemically generated. Everybody gets intrusive thoughts ranging from the strange to the outright impossible, but they are normally able to disregard them and forget about them. With us it's the opposite; we get a thought we don't like and we question the very nature of the thoughts. We feel like having such a thought is indicating something very serious and must be investigated. It's important to NOT do that. Accept the uneasiness of these thoughts and learn to exist alongside them, and not have control over them. This is the only way to move forward.

I have OCD and for a while before DP/DR and before my diagnosis I felt trapped in my head with little control. Trust me you can beat this.

It's interesting that many people without OCD or OC behaviors before DP/DR develop them as a result.

OP maybe consider talking to a therapist? I know there's a lot of negative sentiment about talking to a psychologist because it makes them feel weak or whatever but that's BS. They can really help and their sole purpose is to help people get better by providing them with the tools necessary to get over it. Psychiatrists usually stand for the same purpose but it gets muddled up when they feel obligated to treat things with drugs, that's why I chose a psychologist instead; if needed they can refer you for an Rx but their main goal is to help you without them.

 

[Wingman]

I am currently working with a therapist. I am trying to beat it without medication... In the past I took Zoloft for anxiety and it just made it worse haha. Medication is great and works for a lot of people, I just don't feel that it is right for me. I feel like if I can beat the OCD then I can beat DPDR. My reasoning is that with DPDR you are obsessed with questions that literally nobody on the planet has the answer for. So, instead of obsessing about the negative thoughts or thoughts that are physically impossilbe to answer, I need to focus on reshaping the way I handle those thoughts. Instead of stressing myself out to the point of getting into a depersonalized state, like you said, I need to just be an observer of my thoughts and let them pass without judging them so harshly. Thanks for your advice!

 

[Confusedandtired]

I am currently working with a therapist. I am trying to beat it without medication... In the past I took Zoloft for anxiety and it just made it worse haha. Medication is great and works for a lot of people, I just don't feel that it is right for me. I feel like if I can beat the OCD then I can beat DPDR. My reasoning is that with DPDR you are obsessed with questions that literally nobody on the planet has the answer for. So, instead of obsessing about the negative thoughts or thoughts that are physically impossilbe to answer, I need to focus on reshaping the way I handle those thoughts. Instead of stressing myself out to the point of getting into a depersonalized state, like you said, I need to just be an observer of my thoughts and let them pass without judging them so harshly. Thanks for your advice!

That's a great attitude and a good plan. It's so much easier just not trying to figure it out. Also remember that by doing this it will get harder before it get's better. Once you train your brain how to handle the thoughts even if they cause anxiety/negativity it keeps on becoming easier and easier. You'r definitely on the right road to recovery.