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I honestly don't remember the last time I felt normal before dpdr actually came into my life but I believe now it's fading away because it got boring and not needed anymore , but the process is so hard to understand like why did it happen to me, I feel like years of my life were taken away without me realizing it and now that I am in touch with my feelings I can feel alot of the emotions of my younger self crying out for help. I'm not sure if anything ever happened to me or I was never really emotionally suited right as a child. I just remember always being alone daydreaming by the age of 8 when I got my first iPod. I'm 22 now so daydreaming was going on for that long which is actually called mdd.(maladaptive daydreamimg) which I didn't get over until like 19 years old but after that I got very depressed I was so clung on to daydreaming that it made me feel weird to not have it I healed it in the worst way possible which was numbing my emotions and it got weird where I would look in the mirror and never feel connected to myself it was hard to not know that that was dpdr at the time . Before going on lexapro when I was 18 I had always isolated myself and never felt happy or connected to my body and I realize I have had it for all these years without really knowing it. Weirdly after 22 years I was recently diagnosed with persistent depression disorder , ocd, GAD, and dpdr , but being on zoloft has helped me tremendously and I couldn't be more thankful to know I wasn't going crazy and these weird crazy thoughts weren't me it was just me getting too much into my mind. I hope you all can see a difference in change or hope after reading this and I promise you, you'll be okay.
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