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Hi there, I've had DPD for 5 years and I first got it when I was in a serious relationship when I was 15. After that relationship ended, due to what I know see as severe anxiety, I was incapable of getting into any new relationship or even dating anyone for longer than a week because the anxiety would take over and I would crave the relief of knowing I took control of the situation. As of 8 months ago I met a wonderful human who is now my boyfriend, which was a big deal considering I couldn't even go on a date with someone without completely dissasociating and then freaking out. We are very happy together, but there is still moments of anxiety that take me right back to when I would end things with people no matter the circumstances purely out of fear. Ive tried to uncover the triggers, what I feel, when I feel, why I feel it, but I'm wondering if the answer isn't is simply: I got DPD while in an intense relationship, so now relationships scare me? Does anyone have any insights into why I feel this way?
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