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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have sometimes thought about one interesting possibility - I hope nobody will feel offended by this post though. I have felt the world DPed for 15 years' time, and this state of mind feels normal for me now. I remember experiencing my surroundings also in a different way in my past, but as it has taken so many years with DP/DR I have got used to feeling life this way, and I don't feel bothered of DP/DR anymore.

But I've got one idea about this thingy, which I have come to ponder with my boyfriend. He has thought, like me, that it may be possible that most people - I mean adults - in this world may feel their everyday life through the icy wall of DP/DR. It is because many people seem to remember their childhoods in a wondrous way: as a child the sunshine was brighter, the nature was greener etc. everything felt more real. People who tend to think like that often feel time has made their memories of childhood golden.

But there is also another possibility - during sosialization into adulthood, one must find hir place in adult everyday life and learn to function in this society. It includes lots of subtle and not-so-subtle mannerisms, like one shouldn't run or jump on the street in the city, one shouldn't ask innocently a stranger's name when meeting hir first time, one shouldn't sing aloud while walking in the city center etc. etc. Those kind of manners are allowed for children, but adults must behave in a very strict way, which I felt being like a zombie some years ago, when I was new to the world of adulthood.

Here is the idea: as adults have those mannerisms that forbid them showing their feelings like children do, and in the same time they have to be responsible for their own lives too, I guess it must produce quite an amount of stress and anxiety at least to some of them - indeed it was the case with me some years ago. So it is possible that adults develop some coping mechanisms unconsciously to cope with the stressful everyday life, and one of them might be depersonalization. But the feeling of DP/DR may have come to them so slowly and with consideration, that many people have never come to think they have DP/DR. They just feel the world in this way and think have always done so - and they also feel the sunny childhood memories appear sweet just bc of the time between the present moment and the memories.

So - if this was the case, I no longer wonder why do I fear the possibility to become DP/DR free again; why do I feel I would be all alone then. If many adults exprience DP/DR without even knowing it, it really feels awkward for someone who would like to feel life without the icy wall. I want to emphasize though, that I don't think all adults suffer from DP/DR, I'm pretty sure there are lots of people who experience life without it, but I guess there may be a significant amount of people who live with DP/DR without knowing anything might be wrong with their experience.

This idea isn't mine or my boyfriend's originally, I found it from one creative article of depersonalization disorder written by a Finnish psychiatrist in the Finnish science magazine Tiede2000 year 1989. I have sometimes discussed about this thing with my boyfriend and one friend of mine - both my boyfriend and the friend of mine have thought this speculation might be true, as both of them have felt 'more real moments' sometimes, though they never have thought about suffering from depersonalization like me.

Any ideas - we might develop some highly philosophical discussion here? :roll:
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
I have sometimes thought about one interesting possibility - I hope nobody will feel offended by this post though. I have felt the world DPed for 15 years' time, and this state of mind feels normal for me now. I remember experiencing my surroundings also in a different way in my past, but as it has taken so many years with DP/DR I have got used to feeling life this way, and I don't feel bothered of DP/DR anymore.

But I've got one idea about this thingy, which I have come to ponder with my boyfriend. He has thought, like me, that it may be possible that most people - I mean adults - in this world may feel their everyday life through the icy wall of DP/DR. It is because many people seem to remember their childhoods in a wondrous way: as a child the sunshine was brighter, the nature was greener etc. everything felt more real. People who tend to think like that often feel time has made their memories of childhood golden.

But there is also another possibility - during sosialization into adulthood, one must find hir place in adult everyday life and learn to function in this society. It includes lots of subtle and not-so-subtle mannerisms, like one shouldn't run or jump on the street in the city, one shouldn't ask innocently a stranger's name when meeting hir first time, one shouldn't sing aloud while walking in the city center etc. etc. Those kind of manners are allowed for children, but adults must behave in a very strict way, which I felt being like a zombie some years ago, when I was new to the world of adulthood.

Here is the idea: as adults have those mannerisms that forbid them showing their feelings like children do, and in the same time they have to be responsible for their own lives too, I guess it must produce quite an amount of stress and anxiety at least to some of them - indeed it was the case with me some years ago. So it is possible that adults develop some coping mechanisms unconsciously to cope with the stressful everyday life, and one of them might be depersonalization. But the feeling of DP/DR may have come to them so slowly and with consideration, that many people have never come to think they have DP/DR. They just feel the world in this way and think have always done so - and they also feel the sunny childhood memories appear sweet just bc of the time between the present moment and the memories.

So - if this was the case, I no longer wonder why do I fear the possibility to become DP/DR free again; why do I feel I would be all alone then. If many adults exprience DP/DR without even knowing it, it really feels awkward for someone who would like to feel life without the icy wall. I want to emphasize though, that I don't think all adults suffer from DP/DR, I'm pretty sure there are lots of people who experience life without it, but I guess there may be a significant amount of people who live with DP/DR without knowing anything might be wrong with their experience.

This idea isn't mine or my boyfriend's originally, I found it from one creative article of depersonalization disorder written by a Finnish psychiatrist in the Finnish science magazine Tiede2000 year 1989. I have sometimes discussed about this thing with my boyfriend and one friend of mine - both my boyfriend and the friend of mine have thought this speculation might be true, as both of them have felt 'more real moments' sometimes, though they never have thought about suffering from depersonalization like me.

Any ideas - we might develop some highly philosophical discussion here? :roll:
 

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Hi Ninnu

I raised a similar point some time ago that with dp/dr there is a sudden fracture between one part of our lives and another - life before dp and life after it - those lives being so different that it is impossible not to make constant comparisons and conclude that something is wrong.

Whereas, there may be a gradual 'dulling' of perceptions for all of us that people don't notice creeping up on them because there is no obvious change from one day to the next.

It's like with your kids - you don't notice them growing everyday because the changes are so gradual - it's only when you look at a photo taken a few years earlier that you realise how much they have grown/changed.

Maybe dp is like pre-senile dementia - like go straight to cloud cuckoo land - miss out your life and do not pass Go

Interesting idea - but I still think it's a disorder and one that people do recover from albeit with the realisation that everything in the garden is not necessarily rosy even without dp

Rob
 

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Hi Ninnu

I raised a similar point some time ago that with dp/dr there is a sudden fracture between one part of our lives and another - life before dp and life after it - those lives being so different that it is impossible not to make constant comparisons and conclude that something is wrong.

Whereas, there may be a gradual 'dulling' of perceptions for all of us that people don't notice creeping up on them because there is no obvious change from one day to the next.

It's like with your kids - you don't notice them growing everyday because the changes are so gradual - it's only when you look at a photo taken a few years earlier that you realise how much they have grown/changed.

Maybe dp is like pre-senile dementia - like go straight to cloud cuckoo land - miss out your life and do not pass Go

Interesting idea - but I still think it's a disorder and one that people do recover from albeit with the realisation that everything in the garden is not necessarily rosy even without dp

Rob
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Yes, what you say about the possibility of DP/DR developing slowly, step by step, the person never realizing anything might be wrong - the friend of mine I have discussed about this thought it must be the case with her. She never came to think about depersonalization until I told her about my experience - she thought that she must have had it since childhood, but she had never thought about something might be wrong with her perception until she heard about DP/DR from me.

She has, like my boyfriend - and like me (only two fleeting real instants since I started feeling DP/DR 1989) - also felt those more real moments. Indeed she has told me about one of them and said it was utter horror to her - suddenly she felt very alive in the city center, and during that experience she felt that those other people walking on the street were in a kind of trance, i.e. one could say DPed or something like that. Afterwards, when the experience subsided, she thought she never wants to experience that again, cuz she felt she was the only person alive in the whole city.

This is something I may fear unconsciously, as I feel if I could wake up from DP/DR one magical day, I fear being awake all alone. This is purely irrational fear, as I know there are people who have recovered from DP/DR also here in this forum. Maybe I'm afraid of some kind of cultural 'trance state' - i.e. depersonalization, which may (or may not) be true. However, like you, I also consider DP/DR as a mental disorder and something that never should be in human experience.

But - sometimes I have wondered what kind of society this would be, if every adult was still open like children are. I miss the openness that children possess, I guess if adults could be like that, this world might be altogether different (better?) place. :?: Dunno... Maybe I should have decided to study pedagogics, so after graduation I could have worked with children. (Well, it is never too late if I someday wanted to change my career. :))
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Yes, what you say about the possibility of DP/DR developing slowly, step by step, the person never realizing anything might be wrong - the friend of mine I have discussed about this thought it must be the case with her. She never came to think about depersonalization until I told her about my experience - she thought that she must have had it since childhood, but she had never thought about something might be wrong with her perception until she heard about DP/DR from me.

She has, like my boyfriend - and like me (only two fleeting real instants since I started feeling DP/DR 1989) - also felt those more real moments. Indeed she has told me about one of them and said it was utter horror to her - suddenly she felt very alive in the city center, and during that experience she felt that those other people walking on the street were in a kind of trance, i.e. one could say DPed or something like that. Afterwards, when the experience subsided, she thought she never wants to experience that again, cuz she felt she was the only person alive in the whole city.

This is something I may fear unconsciously, as I feel if I could wake up from DP/DR one magical day, I fear being awake all alone. This is purely irrational fear, as I know there are people who have recovered from DP/DR also here in this forum. Maybe I'm afraid of some kind of cultural 'trance state' - i.e. depersonalization, which may (or may not) be true. However, like you, I also consider DP/DR as a mental disorder and something that never should be in human experience.

But - sometimes I have wondered what kind of society this would be, if every adult was still open like children are. I miss the openness that children possess, I guess if adults could be like that, this world might be altogether different (better?) place. :?: Dunno... Maybe I should have decided to study pedagogics, so after graduation I could have worked with children. (Well, it is never too late if I someday wanted to change my career. :))
 
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Nope. You two are describing a kind of detachment, not dp. Dp is by its very definition, a condition that arises SUDDENLY and is highly disturbing to the person.

A sudden and very disturbing experience of unreality.

Trust me, whatever I had when I had it was not something any ordinary person experiences. The first time it came over me I was ready to go to a psych hospital, and remained so during every dp experience after that.

As an ahem..older person, I can tell you that our eyesight does diminish slowly over time - it's not until I get checked for new glasses and they give me something that fits right, that I say "oh, WOW! Man, I really COULDN'T see right lately!" That's not the same thing as someone who suddenly has a drastic reduction in eyesight.

DP "happens" in an instant. And even when in a dp state, there are sudden dips into DEEPER dp and dr that also happen within a split second. It's the INSTANCY of the symptom that makes it so clearly a "state of altered consciousness" - most things within the body take TIME...move slowly, progress or deteriorate slowly. But a state of consciousness shifts in a split second.

peace,
J
 
G

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Nope. You two are describing a kind of detachment, not dp. Dp is by its very definition, a condition that arises SUDDENLY and is highly disturbing to the person.

A sudden and very disturbing experience of unreality.

Trust me, whatever I had when I had it was not something any ordinary person experiences. The first time it came over me I was ready to go to a psych hospital, and remained so during every dp experience after that.

As an ahem..older person, I can tell you that our eyesight does diminish slowly over time - it's not until I get checked for new glasses and they give me something that fits right, that I say "oh, WOW! Man, I really COULDN'T see right lately!" That's not the same thing as someone who suddenly has a drastic reduction in eyesight.

DP "happens" in an instant. And even when in a dp state, there are sudden dips into DEEPER dp and dr that also happen within a split second. It's the INSTANCY of the symptom that makes it so clearly a "state of altered consciousness" - most things within the body take TIME...move slowly, progress or deteriorate slowly. But a state of consciousness shifts in a split second.

peace,
J
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Nope - I don't agree now. Although for some people - including me - DP has arrived in a instant, it could be also a slow process for other people. If a person feels detached from the world, like there is an icy wall between hir and hir surroundings, who can say that is only some kind of detachment and not DP? Well, OK, I know I may be using the psychiatric term in a wrong way now, but I really see no reason to make a difference between those two conditions. Although I can never say for sure what my friend do really experience as I am not her, I have had quite in-depth discussions with her, and both of us came to the conclusion that we suffer from the same phenomenon. It is because we could describe the experience with similar concepts. The only difference between us is the fact she has never experienced a sudden shift in her consiciousness and I have felt the shift overnight. Though I am aware many people, who may (or may not) experience DP in this society may never know there's anything wrong with their experience, as the shift had been so gradual to them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Nope - I don't agree now. Although for some people - including me - DP has arrived in a instant, it could be also a slow process for other people. If a person feels detached from the world, like there is an icy wall between hir and hir surroundings, who can say that is only some kind of detachment and not DP? Well, OK, I know I may be using the psychiatric term in a wrong way now, but I really see no reason to make a difference between those two conditions. Although I can never say for sure what my friend do really experience as I am not her, I have had quite in-depth discussions with her, and both of us came to the conclusion that we suffer from the same phenomenon. It is because we could describe the experience with similar concepts. The only difference between us is the fact she has never experienced a sudden shift in her consiciousness and I have felt the shift overnight. Though I am aware many people, who may (or may not) experience DP in this society may never know there's anything wrong with their experience, as the shift had been so gradual to them.
 
G

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Ninnu, this strikes me as odd:

suddenly she felt very alive in the city center, and during that experience she felt that those other people walking on the street were in a kind of trance, i.e. one could say DPed or something like that. Afterwards, when the experience subsided, she thought she never wants to experience that again, cuz she felt she was the only person alive in the whole city.
Why? Because when really Dped, the only thing we/I want is to be and feel alive again. In fact I have had some of these moments during the years (I have chronic DP) and at those moments I felt connected with people, and they looked very alive to me.

I really get the feeling that you mix up DP with a general form of detachment that many people experience.
There is one girl on this board who was Dped as long as she can remember, and I think she always noticed this and suffered from it deeply (and still does). I think there is no way that DP can go by unnoticed, for that the disorder is much too debilitating.

Ofcourse I dont know your friends' experience. Still something tells me its not the same. I could be wrong ofcourse.
 
G

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Ninnu, this strikes me as odd:

suddenly she felt very alive in the city center, and during that experience she felt that those other people walking on the street were in a kind of trance, i.e. one could say DPed or something like that. Afterwards, when the experience subsided, she thought she never wants to experience that again, cuz she felt she was the only person alive in the whole city.
Why? Because when really Dped, the only thing we/I want is to be and feel alive again. In fact I have had some of these moments during the years (I have chronic DP) and at those moments I felt connected with people, and they looked very alive to me.

I really get the feeling that you mix up DP with a general form of detachment that many people experience.
There is one girl on this board who was Dped as long as she can remember, and I think she always noticed this and suffered from it deeply (and still does). I think there is no way that DP can go by unnoticed, for that the disorder is much too debilitating.

Ofcourse I dont know your friends' experience. Still something tells me its not the same. I could be wrong ofcourse.
 

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Nope dude,

Just saying, someone expresses himself such as Ninnu did, and you minimize it with that rude response. It's just not cool. It's not even neccessary.

Maybe you'll think before posting next time. Just because YOU find what he said useless (or you simply don't comprehend it) doesn't mean it is.

Oh, but I guess he just thinks too much. Laugh.
 

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Nope dude,

Just saying, someone expresses himself such as Ninnu did, and you minimize it with that rude response. It's just not cool. It's not even neccessary.

Maybe you'll think before posting next time. Just because YOU find what he said useless (or you simply don't comprehend it) doesn't mean it is.

Oh, but I guess he just thinks too much. Laugh.
 
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