[Guest]

I have Dp paroxysms and I don't know what to do about it. Each time I think I will handle a situation, I just can't. Example in a public space, I get so tense, I become less and less alive mentally, I feel not there, less and less, and I feel like more and more derelization, spaciness, (or course depression) and I almost faint (with no panic physically). The light seems like in a nighmare, sometimes people scares me, and when I look at myself in the mirror, at my worst, I see myself just okay, maybe a little sad. But inside it's terror.
:shock:

I would like to know what to do to help those paroxysms, it seems that nothing helps, except going away of taking a med to calm me. why light bothers me to this point? Why corridors bothers me?

I tried to tought those hard DP moments, I did it, tought it, and they made me almost paralized, I couldn't even walk or talk, the panic, dp, dr, all was in my mind, not in my body. So what to do when you're just doing shopping or some normal thing?

Any advice appreciated.

Thanks in advance,

Allure :?

 

[DM]

It is one of the most annoying and frightening symptoms of DR.

Unfortunately, there are no wonder ten-steps programmes avaible.

I feel not there, less and less, and I feel like more and more derelization, spaciness, (or course depression) and I almost faint (with no panic physically). The light seems like in a nighmare, sometimes people scares me, and when I look at myself in the mirror, at my worst, I see myself just okay, maybe a little sad. But inside it's terror.

This is normal - you are scared as hell. Inside of you an emotional AND rational turmoil is simultaneously raging. Emotions tell you to run, your ratio wants to calm down the emotional arousal, BUT by trying to do this your focus is entirely switched to the environment which scares you, so your emotions respond with even more intensity, resulting in your ratio to... etc. etc. It is a vicious circle. Breaking the circle can only be achieved by exposing yourself constantly to this 'threat' and give time to your emotions and nervous system to adjust to this ridiculous threat. But why in public spaces?

why light bothers me to this point? Why corridors bothers me?

Simple. It is bloody reality facing you. The reality which you are trying to push away by DP/DR end meds. You are facing extreme reality in public places. It is the real you who others can see, not the self-constructed imaginary image of yourself. You are facing your OWN worst SOCIAL fears which you are trying to avoid. And which causally has led to the symptoms. Light bothers you because you see things too clearly. This is in contrast to DP/DR: these feelings (symptoms) are subjectively envoked in order not to see the reality you are actually hating. Once you admit that you are pretending, stop acting to be the imaginary you, face reality, and face your real feelings (not about the symptom DP/DR) these 'paroxysms' will disappear. That is a promise.

 

[Guest]

My God you're so right Des. My God, yes.

I refuse to face reality that light puts me in the real reality. Yes, it's very possible. And the feeling that I pass through the corridor and I go out or go outside, with people, or at home, it's always worse. Yes it's true!!!! I have a social fear, fear that people see the Me that I hate since my delivery. Fear that my botfriend love the Me that I hate since delivery. The Me that I never accepted. The Me that I hate more and more because I do nothing of my life. It wasn't me, a mother. I was meant to be a little employee, and now I am JUST a mother, and I don't have nothing that I used to like.

Having the time for me, to do bike, control my weight, eating just what I liked, having my own routine, living for myself. Now I just can't do all this. And even if I can do this 1 or 2 hours a day, it's not like being totally free of your life. It's just a little break, and the cruel reality comes back.

And I hate reality so much, I hate myself so much. I can't hate reality more than that now. I can't think of reality because I am too ashamed of all since 2 years. I am so ashamed, I don't know if one day I will accept all that and my reality.

My only escapes are pills and computer, where I lost myself, and I don't have to BE. I just am in front of a computer. Or when I sleep.
How do I hate my life so much??? Why do I hate my life so much? And how will I love life again? I feel so lost within myself, the old Allure is not in the building anymore. :shock:

[/Once you admit that you are pretending, stop acting to be the imaginary you, face reality

It's so hard.... when I try to be in reality, act like a normal girl, it demands me so much concentration... I automatically get so tired, in the moon, or I cry....my mind doesn't accept!!!! How can I have control over my mind....

It's just questions I ask to myself.

Thanks Des,

Allure

 

[DM]

My only escapes are pills and computer, where I lost myself, and I don't have to BE. I just am in front of a computer. Or when I sleep.
How do I hate my life so much??? Why do I hate my life so much? And how will I love life again? I feel so lost within myself, the old Allure is not in the building anymore.

Food for thought and a key to 'sanity'...

You are holding the key - find the door and...have the guts to open it...

Good luck!