[yodawg]

I am 20,from India, but I grew up with western culture and thus developed a huge ego as well as a feeling of superiority towards my surroundings, i had no compassion and was always the center of my thoughts, then one day i had a health related panic attack and i thought i got dp.

I dont feel things are unreal,instead i feel I am. Not because I can't interact with things, but because i cant interact like i used to.

scariest part is I have no time perception and have hazy memories. Things feel very real, when i watch movies, i feel like i am a part of them.When i do something specific, i do it easily. For 2 months i thought i had DP and worried myself sick. I feel lost completely sometimes when i suddenly focus on myself.

if it is ego death, what're the risks? will i go mad if i let go of my old ego? how does transition happen.

Please give me something, DP has info to deal with it.but this is the unventured sea

 

[Haumea]

It's not ego death, it's DP. Ego death is not scary or unpleasant.

 

[yodawg]

I've got very different symptoms compared to DP. I can interact very well with surroundings, better than before in fact. When I'm busy with anything other than thoughts about myself(my past, or future), I am very much normal and function better than before this phenomenon struck.

Ego death can be scary, you lose the voice at the back of your head you've had for all your life.

When I am doing something or having a conversation, i feel normal unlike people having DP. Probably because when you're having a conversation, you just don't interact with your ego normally, there is no time for recognizing the voice at the back of your head. you just get on with the situation.

Thing is 2 months ago, I worried myself sick constantly thinking about myself till I got obsessed regarding my health ( I had dehydration and thought i was dying), then I was lost in my thoughts and had a panic attack, when i listed the symptoms, i got anxiety symptoms and then i read about DP, then I started worrying if i will get DP and again became lost in my thoughts before i fully recovered from the panic attack developing brain fog(No DP related physical symptoms, just feeling lost and scared) .Then one day my brain got too tired and just stopped thinking about it. The relief was enormous, but the problem was it stopped thinking about anything, it was empty unless i did some activity which forces it to think.

My only problem now really is time perception.

Suggestions now?

 

[Haumea]

It's still DP.

Your symptom set is consistent with DP, and "ego death" is something entirely different.

Ego death typically comes at the tail end of a spiritual growth process where you have learned to control your negative emotions - certainly having a panic attack a few months before DP is a much more plausible occurence than a panic attack a few months before "ego death."

So just treat it like DP. Understand and address the root causes.

 

[yodawg]

How is it DP if - i dont feel things are unreal, i dont have blurred vision, i dont feel emotionally/physically numb, i dont have any headaches ?

DP people cant interact with surroundings, their problem becomes evident when they do so. I can totally forget about any problems when i am busy. My connections with surroundings and my friends/family is very much intact, its my own ego i am detached with. Probably i am on my way to an ego death then. Also I have dreams about others unlike people with DP

And This thing hit me after i got rid of excess anxiety. To deal with anxiety, i used mindfulness, i forgot about the past and totally lived in the present. I feel as if there is a transition between my personalities, and the process is being difficult to deal with. I feel like i am a kid once more.

 

[clockwork8]

How is it DP if - i dont feel things are unreal, i dont have blurred vision, i dont feel emotionally/physically numb, i dont have any headaches ?

DP people cant interact with surroundings, their problem becomes evident when they do so. I can totally forget about any problems when i am busy. My connections with surroundings and my friends/family is very much intact, its my own ego i am detached with. Probably i am on my way to an ego death then. Also I have dreams about others unlike people with DP

And This thing hit me after i got rid of excess anxiety. To deal with anxiety, i used mindfulness, i forgot about the past and totally lived in the present. I feel as if there is a transition between my personalities, and the process is being difficult to deal with. I feel like i am a kid once more.

Forgetting the problem when you interact with your surroundings makes perfect sense.with dp. Dp is mainly caused by anxiety. Interacting with your environment distracts you and the distraction takes too much focus so you stop feeling anxiety and dp. I have had plenty of dreams during times of having dp. Also you do not need to have the symptoms 100% of the time to have it.

Feeling like your self is not real is basically what dp is, you don't need all of the symptoms, it sounds like dp to me too like the others said.

 

[SorR3n]

In my opinion I wouldn't bother labelling yourself as having DP, a huge amount of people experience it without it being depersonalization disorder. Honestly the best days of my life were in that state of egolessness, that connection with everything and everyone. I would read spiritual texts if I was you, try to realize that this is happening for a reason, that it is not something to worry about, but something to embrace. It is a gift to not be sucked into desire and ego. Transcend yourself and live in the moment, learn to do it without fear. Thats what I've tried to do with my DP, turn it into something positive. You don't need the past, let it be hazy, and let your time perception be altered. Don't focus on those things, accept them, then keep living in the present moment, feeling emotion, expressing yourself, savouring your sensory perception. Be thankful for all you have and live in love. It seems like your a very aware person, and living in this corrupt world its easy to think you're "crazy", but you're not, you're just different and are blessed to have an expansive experience of life. Stay positive!

 

[Haumea]

I can totally forget about any problems when i am busy. My connections with surroundings and my friends/family is very much intact, its my own ego i am detached with. Probably i am on my way to an ego death then. Also I have dreams about others unlike people with DP

Totally untrue. People with DP need not experience these things. I still have DP and I'm fine interacting with others, can have dreams about others, etc. In fact my experience sounds very much like yours - disturbed sense of time is the major problem.

Ego death is when you're acting according to the will of the universe, not from your own ego needs. It's also not troubling but natural. You are not experiencing ego death.

 

[yodawg]

Ha. When i believed it was ego death and not DP, i didn't feel DP for 3 days till you guys said that its DP. Maybe because it co-incided with me returning back home from a trip though.

When i am among new things and different environment other than my home (where this thing began), I am totally fine.

The thing, if it is indeed DP, hits me only when i think about it(which is usually when i have nothing else to do) or wonder how about how much time has passed.

I just feel so natural when i concentrate on other stuff than myself.

But there is something I am doing wrong, because I've felt this way for a month. Only progress being, i feel unreal/scared to a lesser degree.

 

[Haumea]

When i am among new things and different environment other than my home (where this thing began), I am totally fine.

It's possible being in your home triggers it because it makes you feel...I don't know...I can speculate (like a baby, helpless, inadequate), but you know the answer better than I do.