[anti-anti depressants]

I've suffered with depersonalization since I was twelve years old. I think it's a coping mechanism to help you deal with traumatic events or what you perceive as traumatic. When I was 20 I was put on Cipramil and it opened my life up. I can remember thinking "Wow, I remember I felt like this before, but such a long time ago". I did'nt know that anything was wrong until I started taking the medication. Only thing I found spooky was that my memory kept taking me back to when I felt that way. I felt as if I was a young boy again. I kept taking them for a while, but then stopped as I found I was becoming a very hard person rather than the caring person that I used to be. Only thing now is that I am suffering with dp all over again and have withdrawn myself from the world. I dont want to go back on the Cipramil because of the side effects.. I tried taking it again a few months after I originally stopped taking it but it didnt have the same effect as it originally did. Anybody else had this problem with Anti-Depressants? I've also read about flourescent lights being a problem for some people. I worked in a small enclosed shop for 10 years which had flourescent lighting in. Find that quite interesting.